Chris Carter's sci-fi classic The X-Files became such a huge hit largely because of its characters, FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. This monster-chasing, alien-hunting, conspiracy-uncovering duo kind of ruined television for its fans because no other duo will ever live up to Mulder and Scully. But while these two were great together, they were both equally interesting on their own as well.
Fox Mulder (or Spooky Mulder as he's known in the FBI), characterized by his aloofness, cynical sense of humor, and unyielding belief in the paranormal, has been known to say some pretty hilarious and downright strange things. Today, we're listing his ten weirdest lines.
10 “LET'S JUST SAY THIS CASE HAS A... DISTINCT SMELL TO IT. A CERTAIN... PARANORMAL BOUQUET.”
In the second episode of The X-Files, Mulder and Scully meet at a bar where Mulder briefs his newly-assigned partner on their new case. When Scully questions his interest in a seemingly non-spooky kidnapping case, Mulder delivers this unforgettable line.
As it turned out, Mulder was right and the case, indeed, had a paranormal bouquet. While many may have forgotten what the case was about, Mulder’s paranormal bouquet became an iconic line and a fan favorite.
9 “SCULLY, THIS IS A CLASSIC CASE OF DEMON FETAL HARVEST.”
In the Season Six episode “Terms of Endearment”, Mulder and Scully investigate the case of an unborn child that was allegedly stolen from its mother’s womb. Sounds crazy, right? Well, not if you ask Mulder. As the leading expert in all things paranormal and supernatural, this was Mulder's explanation for what had happened.
Come on, Scully! Who doesn’t know, or believe in, demon fetal harvest? The way Mulder says this line makes it sound like this so-called “demon baby theft” is something that happens on a regular basis and everyone should be familiar with it.
8 “HAVE YOU CHECKED EVERYWHERE?”
In the hilarious Season Three episode “Jose Chung’s from Outer Space”, Scully meets with famed author Jose Chung who’s looking for some first-hand information about UFOs and alien abductions for his new book. The episode features a re-telling of the same events from multiple points of view with unreliable narrators, thus delivering tons of humor. In one version of the story, Mulder is said to have visited a diner where he interrogated the cook while eating an entire sweet potato pie. Here are his fascinating questions:
"You ever seen a UFO in these parts? You ever experienced a period of missing time? You ever had the suspicion that you’ve been abducted by aliens? Have you ever found a metal implant in your body? Have you checked everywhere?"
7 “BIRDS DO IT. BEES DO IT. EVEN EDUCATED MDS DO IT.”
When five babies are born with tails in the small town of Martinsburg, West Virginia, Mulder and Scully head out to investigate this case in the fan-favorite Season Four episode “Small Potatoes”. After having an interesting chat with one of the mothers, Scully correctly suspects that the babies share the same father.
Upon hearing her theory, Mulder suggests that the father is the OB/GYN, speaking this unforgettable line. Well said, Agent Mulder. As always, Mulder’s peculiar way of explaining his theories doesn’t fail to entertain.
6 "I WAS HOPING YOU COULD HELP ME SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF THE HORNY BEAST."
The Season Three episode “Syzygy” is a hit or miss, but whether you like it or not, we can all agree that it did give us some pretty hilarious and memorable lines. Like when Mulder goes to visit the local detective to get her help on the case with this line.
While this is undoubtedly such a Mulder thing to say, he could have been under the influence of the titular Syzygy. Interestingly enough, later on in the episode, Mulder and the detective totally get it on before they get interrupted by a visibly upset Scully.
5 "I'M TELLING YOU, THAT COW HAD MY NAME ON IT."
In the Season Six monster-of-the-week episode “The Rain King”, Mulder and Scully head to a small town in Kansas to investigate a series of weather phenomena. One such incident almost costs Agent Mulder his life when a cow suddenly crashes through the roof of his motel room. While Scully insisted there's a scientific explanation, this is what Mulder thought of the incident.
While Mulder's weird theory turned out to be right on the money, it was nonetheless a weird thing to say, which makes sense since it came from Spooky Mulder.
4 “HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT THIS MAN'S SHOES ARE UNTIED?”
Ahh, “Bad Blood.” The wonderful Vince Gilligan classic is packed with scenes and lines that are just bonkers. Honestly, we could have put just about anything Mulder said in this episode on the list. “Bad Blood” was seemingly written to give the characters the weirdest, silliest lines ever. Our favorite Mulder line came pretty early in the episode when he had this reaction to the body of a man allegedly bitten by a vampire.
Of course, since this is Scully’s retelling of the events, Mulder’s actions may have been... a bit exaggerated. Nevertheless, it’s one of his most hilarious and weirdest observations ever.
3 "WHO'S THE BLACK PRIVATE D**K?"
Speaking of “Bad Blood”, there's no way we could make this list and not include Mulder singing the Shaft theme. According to Scully’s version of events, when she found Mulder passed out in the hotel room and tried to wake him up he started singing that iconic theme.
When Scully told this to Mulder, he firmly denied it. Whether this truly happened or not doesn’t matter, because we saw and heard Mulder sing the Shaft theme out of the blue, and that’s hilarious.
2 "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT LIVER AND ONIONS GO FOR ON RETICULA?"
In the third episode of the first season, titled “Squeeze”, Scully’s friend from the Academy brings a spooky case to Mulder and Scully. But, Agent Colton mocks Mulder for being a believer, provoking Mulder to play up his beliefs just to mess with Colton. Mulder suggests that an alien race called ‘Reticulans’ are responsible for the murders, adding this silly line into the mix.
The flawless deadpan delivery is hilarious on its own, but the best part is the dumbfounded look on Colton’s face, unable to tell whether Mulder is being serious or not.
1 “WE'RE EXHUMING... YOUR POTATO.”
The hilarious Season Two episode “Humbug”, written by Darin Morgan, has tons of memorable lines because… well, it was written by Darin freakin’ Morgan. One of the moments that made us laugh the hardest is when Mulder and Scully go to “investigate” what the Sheriff has buried in his backyard. They get caught in the act, prompting Mulder to utter this unforgettable gem upon laying eyes on their discovery.
Mulder and Scully were expecting to find some damning evidence against the Sheriff, instead what they got was a potato that he buried to cure himself of warts. The potato scene is undoubtedly one of The X-Files' most hilarious scenes.