If Nintendo fans were being honest, they'd admit that most of Mario's enemies are a bit janky. As intimidating as some of them are, none of them have managed to stop everyone's favorite plumber from achieving his goal of obtaining the cake that has alluded him. Even the main villains don't truly stand a chance of stopping Mario.
That being said, some of Mario's infamous enemies are more useless than others. Some of these villains are so pathetic, that they even somehow achieve a degree of sympathy from the player, which makes them even more pathetic, in a way.
Lakitu
Lakitu is an enemy that is so poor at their job that they sought a career change, which ended up being a better fit for them. Lakitu is a Koopa that rides on a cloud who throws Spinies at Mario, something that the hero can easily avoid.
However, Lakitu's story has a happy ending. While they'll occasionally serve as an enemy, Lakitu has assisted Mario, serving as the cameraperson in Super Mario 64 and as a referee during Mario Kart races, two jobs that they are well suited for.
Shy Guys
It's hard for Shy Guys to be scary when they're so cute. Many of Mario's enemies fit into this category, with Shy Guy being among the cutest. Debuting in Super Mario Bros. 2, the Shy Guys have been both enemies and allies to Mario.
Their tenures as enemies are a lot less notable, being easily taken down by the likes of Mario and Luigi. Though they have a strong following, it can't mask the fact that the Shy Guys aren't really all that intimidating.
King Bob-Omb
The first boss of Super Mario 64, it's a shock that King Bob-Omb wasn't overthrown at the point he fought Mario, given how useless he is. Though he has his size as his advantage, Mario ends up being too quick for King Bob-Omb.
Not even King Bob-Omb's explosion could stop Mario, with the plumber being completely unmoved by King Bob-Omb exploding. There are so many bosses that Mario has trounced easily, but King Bob-Omb is one of the most pathetic.
Waluigi
Loved by many, hated by just as many, it is undeniable that Waluigi is still stuck in the shadow of his brother, Wario. Waluigi has never been the main villain of a game and it doesn't really seem like that will ever change.
The closest he ever came was in Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix, but calling him a real threat in that game is a stretch. Perhaps there is a reason that Waluigi has yet to be a playable character in Super Smash Bros.
Blooper
The reason that Blooper ranks so high on this list is just down to how useless they are in Mario Kart. The Bloopers have never been all that impactful in the regular games, but their use as an obstacle in Mario Kart makes them look terribly ineffectual.
Using their ink to block the vision of the player, the spread is so easy to see through that it nearly negates their purpose. Though some fans can be tripped up by them, the Blooper is no substitute for a Blue Shell.
Sonic The Hedgehog
Mario has done battle with Sonic many times, but their greatest battle came in the real world. The two gaming icons have gone head to head in Mario & Sonic at The Olympic Games, as well as Super Smash Bros., but people will always be nostalgic for the days when their games were direct competitors.
Sonic never really had a chance of beating Mario at his own game, but the failure of the Sega Dreamcast sealed his fate. When Sega pulled out of the console business, it became clear that Sonic and Mario would never be equal again.
Larry Koopa
Out of all of The Koopalings, Larry is easily the most worthless excuse for a boss fight. All of Bowser's adopted children at least pose a mild threat to Mario, but it becomes obvious that Mario will beat Larry the moment the Koopa shows up.
Larry's offense has been consistently avoidable throughout all of his appearances in the Mario games, with any fight with the poor guy being incredibly brief. The only threat that Larry poses is when he fights alongside his siblings in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.
Goomba
Goombas have been the punching bag of the Mario universe for years, with their uselessness even becoming memes, over time. Debuting in the very first entry in the franchise, Goombas are easily taken down just by jumping on their heads.
Goombas rank lower than most would expect, nonetheless, they are seen as some of the most useless enemies Mario has ever dealt with, for good reason.
Koopa Troopa
A foe that is perhaps even more useless than the Goombas is the Koopa Troopas. Making their debut alongside their more infamous friends, Koopa Troopas have been a hurdle in Mario's path for decades, at this point.
Not only do Koopa Troopas pose no threat to Mario, but they use their shells to defeat their comrades, and the idea of Mario using them as a weapon seems like an insult and a bit out of character for the portly plumber.
Bowser
For someone who started out so intimidating, Bowser has really gone downhill as he's gotten older. Though he is by far the most interesting character in the Mario franchise, it is undeniable that Bowser's failures to properly kidnap Princess Peach are totally on him.
Bowser was softened a bit after it became clear that he was a father, with his evil schemes becoming less sinister as the years pass. Regardless of how ineffectual he is, though, Bowser has acquired a fanbase that loves him deeply, with many feeling that he should have some degree of happiness.