Pokemon is notable for distinguishing the multiple types of creatures that exist in their world. There are creatures for just about every element, as well as some more fantastical and intangible characteristics. To start, you will almost always choose between a fire, water, or grass Pokemon, but as you continue your journey through the world of Pokemon, you’ll soon discover there are several types out there that pique your interest. And why not? Variety is the spice of life, and that phrase applies to Pokemon as well.
One of the more intriguing types of Pokemon would be psychic types. There is a shroud of mystery and mystique surrounding them, and they just seem so darn cool. Who wouldn’t want psychic powers? And if you couldn’t have them, wouldn’t you want your Pokemon friends to have them?
Unfortunately, not all psychic Pokemon are created equal, so here are 15 Psychic-Type Pokemon That Are Surprisingly Worthless.
We start things off with one of the first psychic Pokemon you encounter during the Red/Blue games. You’ve been told that you need a psychic Pokemon in order to defeat fighting-type opponents, as psychic attacks are super effective against them. Elemental matchups are key to the world of Pokemon, so you better try to catch one from just about every type, and since Abra is the first psychic dude you’ll come across, you might as well throw a few Pokeballs at him.
But it definitely wasn’t easy. In fact, Abra was a real S.O.B. to try to catch. Pretty much the only move this little dude knows is Teleport, and he will most likely use it instantly, thus ruining your chances of catching him. So you need to send out a fast Pokemon that can put him to sleep or paralyze him or something so he can’t immediately Teleport away. Then you need to throw copious amounts of balls at this stupid thing, only to realize that once you catch it, its move set consists of Teleport and pretty much nothing else, making it useless in battle.
It’s incredible that this little fart can evolve into one of the most powerful Pokemon in the world.
This Pokemon has gained a ton of popularity as an internet meme, and we can’t really blame people for that. It looks hilarious and has a reputation for being a bit of a dolt. Slowpoke is a great name for this Pokemon, because it is insanely slow, and its attacks are about as hurtful as a poke. Its stupidity is lauded by everyone online, and while that’s pretty funny, you wouldn’t want that in the heat of a fierce Pokemon battle.
Let’s get this straight: the Pokemon you want to throw out to fight a litany of pocket monsters is notable for how slow and stupid it is? No thank you, we’ll take our chances with a different Pokemon, thank you very much. There has to be a better option than a Pokemon that is literally known for being a dummy.
Here’s another Pokemon whose value is obvious just by looking at its name. Drowzee? The Pokemon designers can’t be serious. Do you really think your fellow Pokemon trainers will cower in fear at the sight of your Drowzee? Certainly not. They and their Pokemon will almost certainly start laughing their heads off as soon as you call upon this awkward elephant-looking thing to do battle.
Also, what’s up with this Pokemon’s look? Drowzee legitimately looks like it’s wearing a filthy pair of ill-fitting pants… or worse. Best case scenario is that this Pokemon has been wading around in mud all day, falling asleep like a lazy Slowpoke. Trust us, you want nothing to do with this loser of a Pokemon. Its specialty is putting things to sleep, and one look at its underwhelming stats will certainly do the trick. Yawn.
12. Mr. Mime
Alright, think of the most annoying and creepy profession a person can have. Ready? 3, 2, 1…
You said, “Mime” didn’t you? Well, that’s what this Pokemon is. They tried to spice it up by putting “Mr.” in front of it, but you’re not fooling us, Pokemon creators. This Pokemon is valueless and hideous. Unless you want to send him into your kid’s bedroom to give him or her nightmares for the rest of their life, there is no reason Mr. Mime should ever be in your lineup of Pokemon. Even if Mr. Mime had superior fighting abilities, stats, and moves, you still wouldn’t want this shameful Pokemon in your lineup anyway simply due to the fact that it’s a mime.
If there is a Pokemon out there that rivals Mr. Mime in terms of creepiness, it has to be Jynx. Luckily Jynx looks like a lady, so at least we know the creators of Pokemon believed in equality when it comes to creepy-looking psychic Pokemon.
What’s there to say about Jynx that hasn’t already been said? Jynx was one of the first Pokemon to cause a controversy with her look, which many deemed to be racist. Then there is the fact that this weak Pokemon looks like she’s clad in a dress and the kind of make-up a child breaking into mommy’s make-up drawer would put on.. What a strange and unnecessary Pokemon.
Oh, did we mention that the Pokedex refers to Jynx as a “Human Shape Pokemon”? And that one of her abilities is known as “Dry Skin”? And every version of the Pokemon’s description talks about how she moves her hips seductively. No, thank you.
You’ve got to be kidding with this ridiculous Pokemon. Unown is described as a “Symbol Pokemon” and it was almost fun trying to capture all the different types of symbols until you realize this Pokemon is completely worthless on just about every level. This stupid Pokemon never evolves. Unown only ever learns one move, and that move is called “Hidden Power.”
Unless this Pokemon’s “Hidden Power” is magically becoming a different, more awesome Pokemon, don’t even waste your time, energy, or hard-earned Pokeballs on trying to capture this “mysterious” Pokemon. It brings zero value to the table in a battle. Unown is interesting to look at for about 45 seconds, and then you completely forget about it.
Don’t worry about getting to the meaning behind the “language” these Pokemon appear to create, either. Why waste your time learning a useless Pokemon language when you could be Rosetta Stone-ing your way to fluency in Japanese?
Here we go again with the idiotically-named Pokemon. Spoink sounds like the most uncomfortable onomatopoeia possible. Like if you went up to your friend and said, “We need to go home, I just spoinked in my pants,” they’d take you home immediately.
But here is Spoink, a spring-looking pig Pokemon that’s known for how well it can bounce. Equipped with abilities named “Gluttony” and “Thick Fat,” this little porker has no notable stats to write home about, and its move set isn’t anything too crazy either. It evolves into a Grumpig, which some people might find cool, but are you really going to wait around, trying to level this Pokemon up in order to get to that point? Why waste your time? Get yourself a different, cooler psychic Pokemon.
Munna. This Pokemon’s name is Munna. It looks like something your little sister would draw when she was 4 years old and then name it. This Pokemon is known as a “Dream Eater,” and comes with a surprisingly high amount of hit points, but the rest of its stats… woof. It’s incredibly slow, its attack levels are dangerously low, and for a psychic-type, its special attack stats aren’t even that high.
Practically, this Pokemon could be really lovely to have around. Apparently they have the ability to eat people’s nightmares and turn them into happy dreams, which sounds awesome. Until you realize that this will never come into effect while you’re playing Pokemon games. Then you just wish Munna that could actually remove your awful dreams outside the game, then you get mad that Munna isn’t real, and then you resentfully vow to never, ever catch one of these Pokemon.
Look, not every Pokemon can have the awesome design of a Charizard or a Gyrados, but look at Woobat. This Pokemon looks like a cotton ball with bat wings glued to its sides, something that you’d make by mistake in your first grade art class, that would promptly (and deservedly) get an F. That’s not even mentioning the fact that this “Bat Pokemon” can learn the following abilities: “Klutz,” “Unaware,” and its Hidden Ability is called “Simple.”
One thing Woobat has going for it is its speed. Sure, it’s incredibly fast, but when it has no idea where its going, why would you grant this fur ball such amazing speeds? That’s like putting a blind person behind the wheel of a NASCAR racecar. Sure, Woobat is impressively fast, but it’s a danger to itself more than others at a certain point.
Poor Gothita. Gothita looks so adorable, but has been cursed with horrifically low stats. Can this Pokemon even qualify as a Pokemon given how low its stats are? That would be a real shame because the design of this Pokemon just screams “Hot Topic girl who is making her first foray into the world of Pokemon.” That’s a real lucrative market that the creators of this Pokemon must have been trying to capture, but sadly, because of how incredibly weak this Pokemon is, they will never see a cent off of its charm.
Not to mention the fact that it takes until level 32 for this Pokemon to evolve into the angsty-teen version of itself, Gothorita, which sounds like the most goth margarita you will ever drink. By the time Gothita evolves, it learns some pretty cool moves, but you will have long given up on this Pokemon before it gets to that point.
5. Tapu Lele
The fact that this Pokemon has a space between its name shouldn’t impress you (see: Mr. Mime). What should impress you are its otherworldly stats. That’s right, this Pokemon actually boasts some pretty impressive stats, we are willing to admit it! Plus, it’s known as a Psychic Fairy Pokemon, which actually sounds pretty neat.
Now if you could only get past how silly and moronic the Pokemon looks, it would sure be a nice addition to your lineup. But you can’t get past how it looks, can you? With its weirdly black skin, pink hair, and looking like it’s popping out of an egg, this Russian doll aesthetic isn’t pleasing to anyone. It’s just a real shame because this Pokemon can learn some really cool and useful moves, so it’s understandably tempting to use, but you’d be the laughingstock of the battleground if you threw a Tapu Lele out onto the field.
Let’s just start off with a little fact about this Pokemon — its only learned ability is called “Sturdy.” Sturdy is how you’d describe a good table or chair, but who wants a Pokemon that is known for its sturdiness?
Harping on the look of the Pokemon once again, this little creature looks like a piece of jewelry that your grandmother would leave in her will to your sister, much to her chagrin. She was expecting money, but instead she inherited an ugly, costume broach. Interestingly enough, that is the same wave of emotion you’ll get when you realize you’ve captured this worthless Pokemon. It’s got impressive defensive statistics, and that’s it.
Luckily it evolves into something super cool at… level 53?! Dangit!
What even is this Pokemon? Even though the Pokedex describes this being as an “Iron Ball,” we still aren’t convinced. No iron ball has ever looked like Beldum. Go to a metal worker’s workshop and you will never find a piece of iron that looks like this thing.
Statistically, this Pokemon has no abilities of note to its credit, except its high defensive points, but who even cares about that? You want to be on the offensive when you’re doing battle. Defense might win championships in football, but it has almost no place in the world of Pokemon battles. Beldum can take it, but can’t dish it out.
Luckily this Pokemon evolves at level 20 to a much cooler-looking Metang. Metang is a much cooler name than Beldum. Too bad you have to suffer through 20 levels of Beldum just to get to it. Like its name, this Pokemon is just irritating.
Who the heck is naming these Pokemon? This person should be arrested for crimes against humanity and Pokemon. Who would ever want to catch a Pokemon that sounds like what your aunt asks for when she sees you for the first time in three years? “Come give Auntie Carol a Smoochum!”
Known in the Pokedex as a “Kiss Pokemon,” this little creep is said to feel things first with its lips. That’s a quick way to get a ton of cold sores, Smoochum. This Pokemon is at least pretty cute, albeit in a pretty weird way, but it really needs a mother and father in its life to teach it right from wrong, otherwise it will turn into…
By all accounts, this Pokemon is pretty awesome. Its stats are impressive, and the information about this Pokemon found in the Pokedex are astounding. This Pokemon is credited with giving human beings the knowledge to improve the quality of their lives. Whoa, that’s some pretty deep stuff, man. It also doesn’t evolve, and it doesn’t need to since it’s pretty awesome to begin with.
So, why is this Pokemon on a list of the most worthless Pokemon?
Can you imagine hanging out with this Pokemon? You do realize it would be incredibly pretentious, right? It would constantly condescend you and make you feel like an idiot. This Pokemon literally takes credit for human knowledge. Listen up, Uxie: human beings got here on our own, and if you were so smart how come you can’t stop yourself from getting trapped in a little ball until you fight other Pokemon that were captured in little balls?
This Pokemon is worthless because it will constantly degrade you and make you feel worthless.
Which psychic Pokemon bugs you the most? Let us know in the comments!
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