These days, just about everyone can agree that the word Netflix is synonymous with two simple words: en fuego. For all the non-Spanish speakers in the audience, we mean on fire, on point, on the ball...you get the idea. Netflix has evolved from a simple online video streaming service to a production machine for original series and movies that rival traditional film and television, which we suppose isn't that hard since, let's be real, you can't exactly binge watch regular TV.
For all of its gems, like Stranger Things, Orange is the New Black, Peaky Blinders, and basically every Marvel series created so far, exists a karmic retribution that must be paid. These take form in some seriously awful original movie bombs. It's only fair. This list is dedicated to the 15 most lead-laden Netflix originals offered according to the old and new critic gods at Rotten Tomatoes. Some of these movies will surprise you, while others will be no surprise at all. Surprises aside, one thing is for certain: these movies are more rotten than a glass of milk left out in the Arizona sun. So, pretty damn rotten.
15 Girlfriend's Day (2017) - No Critics Score (39% Audience Score)
In a world where greeting card writers are treated like kings, one romance writer, stands above them all...in feeling decidedly inadequate.
Our journey begins with Ray Wentworth (Bob Odenkirk), who used to be the man in the greeting card community. In trying to re-grasp this feeling of fulfillment, he goes on a quest to create the perfect card for the new holiday, Girlfriend's Day, and falls into a malarkey of murder and deceit.
A parody on film noir, the movie has a bit of trouble translating the premise of people being really into greeting cards and greeting card writers themselves into an interesting, and workable reality on screen. Instead, the film's attempts at quirkiness make it take some inevitably bizarre twists and turns that fall just short with the audience.
14 Rebirth (2016) - No Critics Score (38% Audience Score)
Rebirth is like every suburban dad in a mid life crisis' dream turned into a nightmare. Kyle (Fran Kranz), is just super tired of his boring job, his boring wife, and his stupid kids. So, when his college friend Zack (Adam Goldberg) -- a.k.a. that one friend everyone has that spent the last 10 years in Southeast Asia "finding himself" -- suggests Kyle should attend a weekend retreat called Rebirth to reach self-actualization, you know it's going to get really weird.
And it really does. The issue here isn't in the premise of the film, because that's actually relatively interesting (albeit not very original). Rebirth's shortcomings largely fall within its execution. The movie fails to live up to the hype established in the beginning, so it tries to make up for it with strange, meaningful encounters that still leave audiences underwhelmed.
13 Take the 10 - No Critics Score (38% Audience Score)
The main problem with Take the 10 is that the main characters don't really work well as main characters. The plot surrounds two friends, Chester (Tony Revolori) and Chris (Josh Peck), who are both cashiers at the local supermarket trying to find their means of escape from their humdrum lives. For Chester, it's selling his car and moving to Brazil, and for Chris, its attending a hip hop concert. The movie follows them as they try to achieve their goals, but instead, they of course end up in a hot mess of a situation they need to find their way out of.
The film overall is lackluster, which may partly have to do with the total non-likability of the main characters, especially Chris, who just becomes irritating as the movie progresses, leading you to long for the days of Drake and Josh.
12 You Get Me (2017) - No Critics Score (24% Audience Score)
With a cast that includes Bella Thorne and Nash Greer, it's hard to comprehend just how this movie is so underrated...Just kidding. You Get Me follows the story of Tyler (Taylor John Smith) who is just so in love with his high school girlfriend Alison (Halston Sage) until he finds out she totally used to party from an old friend of hers, and he promptly dumps her. He then proceeds to have a hypocritical one night stand with the mysterious manic pixie dream girl, Holly (Bella Thorne), and chaos ensues.
Essentially, the film is Fatal Attraction, but with teenagers and text messaging. With an average audience rating of 2.3 out of 5 stars, this film deserves its atomic bomb status. The plot tries to be alluring and sensational, but really just recycles stale thriller tropes, leaving you anxiously waiting for Holly to kick the bucket so you can be put out of your own misery.
11 Clinical - No Critics Score (22% Audience Score)
Adding on to the list of tanking Netflix thrillers is Clinical. At first glance, the plot of the story seems like relatively fresh and interesting material. The story follows psychiatrist Dr. Jane Mathis, who experienced PTSD after a violent altercation with a former patient. After 2 years out of the field, the good doctor decides the time is right for her to take on a new trauma patient, even though she's not exactly over her own issues. Please, sign us up for her therapy sessions.
Well, as you might have predicted, she gets triggered by this new patient and slowly descends into hysteria. The problem with this film is not the initial set up, but the overall journey and end destination. The movie tries to engage the viewer with "surprising" twists and turns, but ends up falling flat in the delivery, garnering just a 26 percent rate of audience satisfaction.
10 Small Crimes - 58% Critics Score (32% Audience Score)
Starring the Kingslayer himself, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, this entry seems to be more of a victim of poor writing than poor casting. Small Crimes tells the story of a disgraced ex-cop Joe Denton, who has just been released from jail after attempting to murder a District Attorney. No big deal, just a casual petty crime.
Desperately wanting to seek redemption, it was only fitting that Denton would be reinserted into the drama that he left behind prior to serving hard time in the pokey. All jokes aside, this film was not horrendously received by critics; in fact, it has a 58 percent critic rating on Rotten Tomatoes, which is far superior to the later entries on this list. The main critical issues stem from the characters being ill defined through the writing, and the overall plot being underwhelming and uneventful. So, while it's not a total stinker, it still reeks a bit of Jamie Lannister's dismembered hand.
9 War Machine - 53% Critics Score (34% Audience Score)
Like its our last entry, this movie definitely has some solid casting on its side, featuring stars like Brad Pitt, Tilda Swinton, and Ben Kingsley. Do we really need to elaborate further?
A satirical comedy about the American military effort in Afghanistan, the film's subject certainly provides writers with enough material to humorously critique for the next 16 years (too soon?), which also inevitably lends itself to its own downfall.
The movie's overall lack of direction is what really puts the nail in the positive review coffin. It seems that with trying to be overly complicated and ambiguous, the overarching message of the film was essentially lost in the crossfire (haha, military puns). So, while it managed to garner a 54 percent critic rating, indicating a near even mix of positive and negative reviews, it seems that this one is leaning just slightly more towards the stench of failure.
8 Mascots - 51% Critics Score (35% Audience Score)
If there's one thing that has been proven thus far on our list, it's that comedies are not exactly Netflix's thing, and here's yet another misfire to add on to the pile.
This mockumentary follows the cutthroat, competitive world of sports mascots duking it out for the ultimate prize, the Golden Fluffy Award. Like the previous entries, this one was also a bit of a mixed bag. It seems that this film's greatest downfall is that it simply isn't as funny as it's predecessors.
In case you didn't know, this flick was written and directed by Christopher Guest, who has had a hand in nonfewer than three other mockumentaries over the years, including Best in Show, A Mighty Wind, and the legendary This is Spinal Tap. So, yeah, when you compare the new movie to something as great as This is Spinal Tap, it surely won't seem like it's turning the laughs up to 11.
7 Death Note - 42% Critics Score (25% Audience Score)
Damn it, Death Note. We were sincerely rooting for you. We wanted you to be good. We wanted you to bring justice to the original. But what did you bring us? Disappointment.
In any case, if you haven't seen the Death Note anime, read the manga, or just have absolutely no idea what Death Note is, it's about a schoolboy named Light Turner (Nat Wolff) who finds a notebook that can kill people by writing their name in it. Neat, right? He then uses the notebook to kill off criminals, while unknowingly being tailed by the famous detective, L. If that wasn't interesting enough, there's also a death god who's pretty scary looking.
Anyhow, this film was pretty much torn to shreds by the good ol' critics at Rotten Tomatoes with a 39 percent critic rating, and rightfully so. From its infidelity to the source material to the just dreadfully boring nature of the movie, it deserved it.
6 Sandy Wexler - 28% Critic Score (41% Audience Score)
The first of the many new Adam Sandler movies to be on this list (we apologize in advance), the critics say this one sucks the least. Yay?
In fact, Sandy Wexler is the shining star of the group with a 28 percent critic rating, at least when compared to the pitifully low ratings we'll see later on this list. The movie is about Sandy Wexler (duh) played by Sandler, an LA talent agent managing a rightful cast of characters. All is well, until he picks up a client with actual talent (Jennifer Hudson) and falls in love with her.
The highlights include the movie's overall endearing feel and playful touches, but that's about it. After that, it's a bit ugly. The over 2 hour runtime did it no favors, nor did the comedic styling of the film, which featured more of the same old gags from Sandler. It's only critical saving grace seemed to be that it was the least offensive of the new Netflix Sandler installments. Unfortunately, that still doesn't make it worth watching.
5 Special Correspondents - 16% Critics Score (28% Audience Score)
Starring Ricky Gervais and Eric Bana, this is yet another film that lives in the shadow of a wildly popular predecessor. Gervais, also known for co-creating the UK version of The Office, is seemingly held to a higher standard because of his previous work, a groundbreaking comedy that also inspired the equally terrific US version.
Overall, the general plot is not a bad one. It tells the story of news radio journalist Frank Bonneville (Eric Bana) who, with the help of his friend Ian Finch (Ricky Gervais), fake their own kidnapping in order to create a big news story to report on. Although the premise is a good one, the writing -- which is two-dimensional and essentially satire-lite -- is not, making this film a real missed opportunity. Because who really wants the lite version when they can have the real thing?
4 The Do Over - 5% Critics Score (42% Audience Score)
Ah, Adam Sandler back at it again, and this time David Spade is serving as the co-captain of his sinking ship. The Do Over follows the plan of Max (Sandler) and Charlie (Spade) to fake their own deaths to assume new identities and get a "do over" at life.
Honestly, do we even have to get into why this movie is bad? Fine, we will. Like all Sandler movies, this one depends on a certain brand of humor that has come to be expected, and that's the real issue. We expect it, and it isn't funny anymore. In fact, this movie was gifted a mere 5 percent critic approval rating, and described as "markedly dumber with every passing minute" and our personal favorite "pestilential crap" -- because if you're going to verbally backhand something, the least you can do is enrich one's vocabulary while doing it.
3 Naked - 0% Critics Score (28% Audience Score)
Now, here come the true blue bombs that you've all been waiting for. That's right, it's our absolute zeros. Meaning these movies were so bad, not a single critic could find it in their hearts to give them a free pass. Don't feel bad for them, though; they definitely earned their 0% designations.
Kicking us off is Naked, which is basically Groundhog Day, but with less clothes. It tells the story of Rob Anderson (Marlon Wayans) who is supposed to be marrying his dream girl, but can't seem to make it down the aisle. Instead, he ends up in a time loop that causes him to continually wake up naked in an elevator and start the day's events over once again.
The main gripe with this movie, besides the lowest of the low brow humor, is that the concept has been done before, and better. At least Wayans looks pretty good in the buff, and hey, Dennis Haysbert, otherwise known as that dude who does all the Allstate commercials, he's there too. But yeah, that's pretty much it.
2 The True Memoirs of an International Assassin - 0% Critics Score (42% Audience Score)
Look, another Netflix comedy bomb, are we sensing a pattern? To make a long story short, this movie could probably just be called Paul Blart: International Assassin, but we appreciate the attempt to change it up. The plot surrounds not-Paul-Blart, a.k.a. Sam Larson (Kevin James), an author that is mistaken for a hit man after he publishes a fictional novel about international assassins, and then some wacky, zany, craziness ensues.
Like Sandler before him, James has a schtick he likes to cling to, and hasn't exhibited much growth outside of that, which is really assassinating him with the critics. His only saving grace from being the absolute bottom of the Netflix barrel is that he had nothing to do with the last movie on our list. So, good on you Paul Blart, we mean Kevin James -- you managed to not be in the most embarrassing film Netflix has to offer. But only just barely.
1 The Ridiculous 6 - 0% Critics Score (31% Audience Score)
Surprise, surprise, yet another Adam Sandler movie to top our list of the absolute worse of the worse. If you have actually seen this movie, then this should come as no shock to you, unless you're one of the people who contributed to making this film a hit for Netflix, then shame on you.
This movie is bad, and we mean BAD. It centers around 6 guys in the Old West that discover they all share the same father, so naturally, they end up going on a journey to save him. Most viewers probably made the mistake of giving this movie a chance because they saw the roll call of actors headlining the movie and thought it would be worth watching. Yeah, it wasn't. The humor is crass and borders on downright disgusting, while the plot is slow moving and painful to watch. If you could choose between sticking pins in your eyes Oedipus style or watching this movie...take the pins, man. Your brain will thank you later.
Well, that about does it for this list. Don't worry though, we'll surely have plenty of material for a new collection, as Adam Sandler has been signed to yet another 4 movie contract with Netflix.
What do you think is the worst movie on Netflix? Did we miss any complete bombs? Let us know in the comments!
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