In a serious world, musicals are a cathartic medium that really makes people laugh or helps them feel those feelings that they would never say out loud. However, amidst all the amazing musicals out there (like the recent Hadestown, Six, and Beetlejuice), there are some really terrible musicals. Some of them are infamous flops, while others are stories that even the most seasoned musical lover have never heard of.
To try to be a little more objective, let's use IMDb to help find the worst of the worst—a fascinating list , even if you hate musicals. Here are the top 10 worst musicals, ranked (according to IMDb).
Dancin': It's On! (2.8)
Ever watch Dancing With The Stars or So You Think You Can Dance? Well, here's the best bad musical for you. It stars DWTS alum Witney Carson and SYTYCD season nine winner Chehon Wespi-Tschopp. They play two people falling in love in a Romeo and Juliet and Dirty Dancing mash-up.
Jennifer (Carson) is a rich man's daughter, and Ken is a dishwasher. They find each other and then join a dance competition, falling in love and upsetting everyone around them along the way. If that sounds somewhat boring and probably poorly acted, it is. However, the dancing is 10/10.
Goldilocks and the Three Bares (2.8)
The most surprising thing about this movie is that, in fact, it is not about Goldilocks at all. Some musicals just feel absurd, but others take it a step further by turning into an all-out fever dream that doesn't seem like it could ever be real.
A club singer, Eddie, is pursuing a press agent, Alison, with a dark secret: she's a nudist. When Eddie finds out, he gets mad, but his friend Tommy plays matchmaker for the two for the rest of the movie and convinces Eddie to go on a nudist weekend. All three end up happy nudists. That's it. That's the movie.
Cats (2.7)
This 2019 garbage-fire has captured the hearts of bad movie lovers around the world. However, between the non-existent plot and the horrific CGI fur, it only serves to completely turn anyone intrigued by musicals in the exact opposite direction. Who decided Jason Derulo should yell "Milk" or give Taylor Swift cat boobs, anyway?
Considering all the money put into the film, it's almost horrific how bad it ended up. Hopefully, nobody wastes this much money on trying to translate a musical that could never work on screen.
Don't Go Into The Woods (2.7)
Did you ever want to have a mash-up of a typical college slasher flick set to indie rock music? No? Well, too late, Don't Go Into The Woods already exists. Five band-members—and a gaggle of their girlfriends/female friends—go into the woods to inspire themselves to write, even though there are signs saying not to. The movie bizarrely bounces to and fro from writer struggles and relationship drama to horror fare, dead car batteries, missing people, machetes, and the like.
Spoilers: Nick, the one stressed the most about writing, was the one who offed all his band-mates and friends. Yikes.
Hillbillys In A Haunted House (2.6)
In a musical comedy horror, Hillbillys in a Haunted House is as good a title as any. Two country singers end up in a creepy house—the kind that just happens to be haunted. It also happens to be the home of an international spy ring, which is definitely very normal.
Apparently they help push the "haunted house" myth to keep their spying operation going. But, for some reason, it includes a gorilla in the basement? It seems like these spies don't know what a haunting normally entails. It's all weird.
Battlefield America (2.5)
Despite the threatening title, this musical is actually about a dance competition. Blatant false advertisement.
For confusing reasons, a successful businessman, Sean, is forced to turn a group of misfit kids into a contest-winning dance team. It makes even less sense considering he knows nothing about dance, so he has to hire someone else to teach them dancing. But, along the way, he falls in love with the community leader, Sara, so there's that. A very poor version of "misfit kids turn jerk career man into a better person." Bizarre choices all around.
The Wonderful Land of Oz (1969) (2.2)
A very faithful adaptation of Frank L Baum's book, this was a very low-budget film made for kids. The tale follows Tip, the gender-swapped Princess Ozma, transformed by a witch so that she would never ascend to her throne.
The film was so low-budget that they never had a backdrop, just setting props for the actors to work with. This film was directed by Barry Mahon, who made outlandish claims for promotion—like getting Judy Garland to narrate—but he never followed through on those promises. Mahon also directed the equally panned Thumbelina and Jack and The Beanstalk. They aren't exactly Rodgers and Hammerstein material.
From Justin To Kelly (2.1)
It seems that having movies starring winners of singing or dancing competitions doesn't make for a good film. At all.
After Kelly Clarkson's explosive win on American Idol, somebody thought to capitalize on the fame of her and her runner-up, Justin Guarini. A terrible rom-com musical ensues. Nothing helps this film. The duo doesn't have great chemistry, it's set during a spring break bender, and every member of the cast has a weird romantic sub-plot. It's safe to say the film was a mistake, and everyone involved agrees, because none of them talk about it.
The Oogieloves In The Big Balloon Adventure (2.0)
During the 2010s, the Oogieloves were a fairly popular kid's show trio. They encouraged kids to dance and sing.
The film quite literally starts with the Oogieloves themselves (Toofie, Zoozie, and Goobie) prepping a birthday party for their sentient pillow. However, their also sentient vacuum cleaner accidentally releases the five magic balloons they got for the party. They spend the rest of the movie finding the balloons to give their pillow the best birthday ever. In the end, they win the balloons back by blowing kisses at them. With the premise alone, that's a lot to take it. We can't imagine the weird songs they sang in between.
My Fair Zombie (1.5)
During the height of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which still wasn't that great of a height, it seemed someone wanted to take that just one step further. With disastrous results, of course.
Enter My Fair Zombie, a riff off the classic musical My Fair Lady, but now with man-eating walkers. Professor Higgins picks up a zombie off the street (Eliza Doolittle) and plans to try to turn her into a "proper" member of society, speaking perfect English and everything. The man has quite the "comedic" time trying to introduce a zombie into high society. Bad twist on an already weird premise? Absolutely. There's no surprise people didn't like it one bit.