A massive, open-world RPG like The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt takes hundreds of hours to successfully complete. In a game that large, there are inevitably going to be bugs, glitches and technological hiccups in the engine. While the designers work hard to rectify such errors through updated patches, the sheer size and scope of the game make it impossible to fix all of the imperfections.
From Geralt's melting face, missing head, totemic visage and more, the most amusing glitches in Witcher 3 tend to be the most absurd as they defy gravity, logic and the law of physics, turning simple errors into hilarious, meme-worthy moments ripe for ridicule online.
Walking And Dancing In Midair
One of the most common yet hilarious glitches in the mega-popular RPG is the strange ability of characters to randomly walk and dance in midair. In the "Wild at Heart" quest, Geralt visits a village and encounters a boy walking atop a pile of logs, only to walk off the wood several steps by hopping on one leg in the middle of the air.
Later, Geralt is seen doing a similar thing, but instead of hopping, he busts some ludicrous dance moves in mid-air with nothing to support him underneath. Moreover, he appears to be channeling a futuristic boogie dance from the 1950s. Who knew Geralt could cut a rug like that?
Cobblestone Quicksand
Another side-splitting and torso-sinking glitch in the game comes when Geralt is on a mission to contact the Oxenfurt drunk. As he ambles around a cobblestone village looking for the sot, Geralt suddenly sinks waste deep into the stone ground like quicksand.
What's really funny about the glitch is how Geralt acts as if nothing happened and continues to carry out a conversation with a squire who is also buried waste deep in the cobblestones and completely oblivious about it. Moreover, the glitch completely prevents the two soldiers from moving, creating quite a silly dilemma.
Random Severed Head
The Witcher games are known for their intensely graphic carnage and extremely violent death scenes, which often include decapitation. However, in one absolutely hilarious glitch, Geralt consorts with a fella who has lost his head. Literally.
Upon encountering a sword maker from humble beginnings, Geralt speaks to the man as his head literally falls off his neck and remains in the corner of the screen suspended in midair. The funniest part? The man still has a ponytail intact above his neck while the rest of his decapitated head watches from the corner. Of course, Geralt and the swordmaker continue to converse as if nothing is out of the ordinary. The game mods couldn't even rush the bug.
Geralt's Lewd Encounter
Another hysterical hiccup in the stellar action RPG takes on an expectedly racy turn that had fans in stitches when it was first discovered. The error occurs when Geralt encounters a friendly consort of allies inside an ornate mansion.
In addition to speaking with a gentleman who exposes way too much skin beneath a frilly neck frock, a glaring mistake behind the near-nude gent can be seen. The glitch entails two characters nearly superimposed over each other to look as if they're merged as one. What's really odd is how it appears as if the guy in the back is reaching around and placing his hand inside the other fella's pants as Geralt leers on awkwardly.
Woman's Disappearing Face
One of the most unbelievably glaring glitches in Witcher 3 comes when Geralt explores the Pyres of Novigrad. Upon speaking to a woman about placing crystals around the granary, the camera shifts to an intimate close-up of the two characters in deep conversation.
The camera shows the woman removing her hood before cutting to Geralt's reaction. When the edit goes back to the woman, her face is completely missing while her striking red hair remains in the frame. It's jarring at first but when Geralt carries on the conversation as if nothing happened is morbidly amusing.
Geralt's Disembodied Head
Akin to a chicken with its head cut off, there is a moment when Geralt is wandering around a village during the Invitation From Keira Metz that is cartoonishly slapstick. Somehow, Geralt's head detaches from his spine and juts forward in front of his body while his white wig is left intact above his neck.
The really funny part is how Geralt holds his arms akimbo and darts around the square, in effect chasing his own head around as puzzled villagers spectate. It almost looks as if Geralt is riding a human body-less horse on a joyride around the village.
Roach Flying And Popping Wheelies
Poor Roach. Geralt's trusty mare has a slew of hilarious technical hiccups in the awesome modern fantasy RPG, many of which come when he's either going up or downhill. For instance, Roach is known to pop wheelies when going uphill, one of the most amusing sights the game unintentionally offers. The horse can glide over rocky terrain on his back feet alone.
There's also a distinct moment in The Nilfgaardian Connection when Geralt searches for the Inn at the Crossroads. While trudging downhill, Roach suddenly up and flies through the air for several feet like he was Blitzen at Christmas. It makes no sense how Roach went from a mere mare to a magical pegasus in seconds flat.
Melted Faces
A common glitch that has been groused about by fans is the preponderance of melted faces that occur in the middle of the game. Geralt isn't immune, as he's had his face melt into a demonic visage more than once in the game. The glitch comes as a part of the newfangled free camera element that allows players to detach from Geralt and fly around.
However, a bug in the development has resulted in characters having their faces melt and their heads randomly detach in morbidly hilarious ways. That the characters never acknowledge such and act normally adds to the sense of humor.
Roach Teleporting And Changing Colors
Another funny glitch regarding Roach comes when taking on missions in Skellige. Apparently, the moody mare will suddenly teleport to the middle of the ocean without rhyme or reason. Stranger yet, every time Roach returns from the depths of the sea, he becomes a different color.
Somehow, Roach goes from being a trusty warhorse to a magical color-altering equine the Wizard of Oz would be proud of. Of course, all of this goes unspoken as Geralt acts as if Roach never left or changed appearances, making the whole endeavor even funnier.
Geralt's Head In A Wooden Post
Here's Gerry! One of the all-time funniest glitches in Witcher 3 shows Geralt's head stuck in the middle of a wooden support beam. Not distracted in the slightest, Geralt carries on his business as if he chose the look like a stylish new fashion trend.
The droll meme-able moment has led to a series of silly online puns, from "I am Geroot" to he looks "board" and "he's just manning his post" and many more. The glitch also occurs early enough in the game that nearly everyone who plays encounters it, making it the most universally-known Witcher 3 glitch.