Season 3 of What We Do In The Shadows sets up the perfect scheme for Colin Robinson (Matt Proksch). Colin is an energy vampire, a mysterious variety that feeds on humans by draining their energy through boring or frustrating experiences rather than drinking their blood. Throughout the series, Colin has showcased a number of methods of feeding from forcing his coworkers into tedious small talk to trolling people on the internet, but season 3, episode 5, "The Chamber of Judgement," introduces a new, perfect way for Colin to drain his victims.
In the episode, Laszlo (Matt Berry) invites Colin to a party hosted by their neighbor, Sean (Anthony Atamanuik). Throughout What We Do In The Shadows, Colin regularly uses social events to feed, but his draining techniques are interrupted when Sean brings out the "Guy Pillow." He harasses his friends so much with the multi-level marketing (MLM) scheme that Colin's attempts to drain them have no effect. Colin, for his part, seems intrigued by the aggressive sales pitch which is stealing the attention and the energy of the room.
The "Guy Pillow" would be the perfect energy-sucking scheme for Colin to employ because it works better than his previous methods to drain Sean's stubborn friends. The technique is so simple that a normal human can pull it off, but it's clearly a highly effective way to drain people. The approach also lends itself to Colin's shameless persistence and could even help Laszlo save his friend.
Most humans in What We Do In The Shadows have proven fairly simple for Colin to drain, but Sean and his friends give him trouble even before the MLM scheme comes out. First, their cavalier tenacity in getting Colin to stop talking and blocking their game shuts down his drain, then when he brings out a long, complicated, Agatha Christie-themed board game, they embrace it with apathy rather than any emotion Colin can feed on. They're clearly harder targets than Colin is used to, but the "Guy Pillow" does the trick almost instantly, creating a tense, awkward situation that Colin sees as an energy feast.
The MLM scheme could also serve as the perfect device to save Sean. Aside from Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), Sean seems to be Laszlo's best friend in What We Do In The Shadows, and the episode follows his struggles to sell the $12,000 worth of pillows that he purchased. Peddling such a specific, useless, and overpriced product proves difficult for Sean, but it actually lends itself perfectly to Colin Robinson's strengths. He thrives on cool-headed persistence to drain people of as much energy as possible, so where Sean gets angry at his ineffective pitch and storms off, Colin would persevere until the mark is so depleted of energy that they relent, and buy the pillow. The scheme could be a perfect setup for both Sean to get rid of his pillows and Colin who can easily feed on countless unsuspecting victims of the MLM plot.
The episode of What We Do In The Shadows ends with Derek (Chris Sandiford), not Colin, going door-to-door selling the pillows. At first, it almost feels like a wasted opportunity since Colin would be so well-suited to the job, but viewers should remember that throughout the episode, Derek proves to be something of a screwup. If his attempts to hypnotize prospective customers go as well as him curating a vampire outfit, audiences may still get to see Colin embracing his dream scenario by the end of What We Do In The Shadows season 3.