Just a week ago, the date of the Chinese New Year 2021 was marked, ushering in the year of the Ox. Coincidentally, 2021 also marks the fiftieth anniversary of the opening of Walt Disney World. For anyone who feels attuned to the ebbs, flows, energies, and spirits of the Chinese Zodiac signs, but still wants to spend some time on the many attractions of the Orlando theme park, there is a way that these two seemingly disparate threads can come together.
After all, with so many attractions to choose from, it can be a bit tricky to know where to begin. But by following the traits laid out by the signs of the Chinese Zodiac, park visitors can better understand which attraction will best match their identities and personalities. There's one clear ride for everyone.
Rat: Jungle Cruise
Before hanging out on an adventurous boat with Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt, those who are Rats in the Chinese Zodiac can try their hand at the Jungle Cruise attraction in Magic Kingdom's Adventureland.
Rats are known for their quick wit and their ability to turn anything into a tool or a mechanism. This energy is clearly matched by the skippers of the Jungle Cruise, who are tasked with piloting guests to safety while cracking some jokes along the way.
Ox: Pirates of the Caribbean
Those born in a year of the Ox are most appreciative of the most dependable and strong-willed forces of the universe. Over at the Magic Kingdom, only a few attractions have been around since the very beginning.
Pirates of the Caribbean was a staple of Disney parks long before Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom suited up for the high seas. If Oxen want a true reliable ride, Pirates will never let them down; it's a classic for a reason.
Tiger: Tower Of Terror
Tigers in the Chinese Zodiac are undeniably brave, but they're also led by the overwhelming quality of unpredictability. Therefore, Tigers need a ride that can somehow top this manic energy.
Only the Tower of Terror is more unpredictable than a Tiger. Space Mountain might have an argument, but the thrills of Hollywood Studios' Twilight Zone homage are programmed to drop randomly every time. Tigers will flip for it.
Rabbit: PeopleMover
One ride that is actually completely predictable, on the other hand, is the PeopleMover in in Tomorrowland, which provides guests with an aerial, relaxing view of the east side of the Magic Kingdom.
Because it's a gentle ride, it's no surprise that the gentle spirit of Rabbits will be most drawn to it. All they want is a motorized tour where they can put their feet up. The PeopleMover is the most underrated option for appeasing this.
Dragon: Soarin'
All the people of the world deserve the confidence of Soarin', a ride that has been around for about a decade and a half and may be the best attraction in all of Epcot.
Similarly, Dragons have some of the top confidence of the Chinese Zodiac animals, in tandem with enthusiasm. For those who know how remarkable Soarin' is, that enthusiasm comes in the Patrick Warburton-narrated pre-show, which is often echoed by the ride's strongest devotees. Dragons are surely among them.
Snake: Haunted Mansion
A good portion of the experience riding the Haunted Mansion is chronicled by the narration of the Ghost Host, who lurks in the rear area of the Doom Buggies. He has to be one of Disney World's most enigmatic and clever characters.
Everything he says has some sort of wordplay found within it, but there's also wisdom to his happy haunting. Snakes from the Chinese Zodiac will delight in the Haunted Mansion, which is built on spooky contradictions throughout.
Horse: Toy Story Mania
Much of the appeal of the Haunted Mansion for Snakes is the methodical, plodding approach it takes to the experience. In direct contrast is Hollywood Studios' Toy Story Mania, which is all bombast, color, and "Go! Go! Go!"
Those born in the years of the Horse have similar animated natures, with immense energy that is constantly leaving them bouncing off any nearby wall. The manic rope-a-dope provided by Toy Story Mania might even leave a Horse exhausted.
Goat: Kilimanjaro Safaris
Venturing to Animal Kingdom, it would be a mistake to leave an animal-defined attraction off the list. Fortunately, Kilimanjaro Safaris prioritizes the needs of the animals over the needs of the guests.
Therefore, it's abundantly sympathetic and empathetic (the attraction calls for guests to speak up in defense of wildlife) and a calm experience of oneness between animals of all kinds. Goats will absolutely love this gently spirited attraction.
Monkey: Spaceship Earth
In general, Monkeys in the Chinese Zodiac will adore Epcot. Monkeys are supremely intelligent and curious, meaning they will love a theme park that is rooted around discovery and education - while still having some fun, too.
Spaceship Earth is clearly emblematic of the identity of Epcot. It sets the tone for a day in the park by being the first attraction guests see. Within the sphere? A journey throughout time and the history of communication, pushing guests to think a little deeper and be prepared to explore a world they may take for granted.
Rooster: Expedition Everest
Back to Animal Kingdom, Expedition Everest is by far the most daunting of the many roller coasters themed to mountains throughout Walt Disney World. As such, it requires immense courage to conquer.
Leave that to the Roosters of the Chinese Zodiac. One of the defining traits of a Rooster is their bravery, and that can be bolstered by a trip through the Himalayas. Not to mention, Roosters are also highly observant, meaning they might spot the Yeti long before fellow riders.
Dog: Carousel Of Progress
While Tomorrowland's Carousel of Progress is primarily a show, it still features a rotating theater that makes it something to "ride." Granted, it's a gentle experience, but that's why the Dogs of the Chinese Zodiac will be so drawn to it.
The gentleness is also supported by a sense of honesty and storytelling from the Jean Shepherd-voiced John character. Considering Dogs appreciate lovely, wholesome experiences above all else, the Carousel of Progress is a clear must-do.
Pig: It's A Small World
In the Chinese Zodiac, Pigs are best-regarded for their sense of compassion. While It's a Small World in Fantasyland might be a fairly reductionist take on a unified world, it's still emblematic of the idea that a better world is possible.
And, it's possible through compassionate connections between all cultures. Pigs will be able to discern the difference between attraction and reality, but they'll understand that the underlying message of this theme park attraction is a bit grander than just another lap of fun and music.