There was a time not so long ago that video games were considered to be a guilty pleasure by most adults. Gaming was considered to be a hobby just for kids, to be grown out of and traded in for more mature pursuits once an individual reached a certain age.
However, this is no longer the case, as mainstream acceptance for the relatively new medium has grown by leaps and bounds over the last few decades. New games in popular franchises like Halo, The Legend of Zelda, and Uncharted are met with the kind of anticipation and excitement once reserved for blockbuster movies. In short, gaming is cool.
Of course, like any medium, gaming has its share of guilty pleasures. Nobody is likely to bat an eye if you tell them you’re playing the latest Call of Duty or Madden title. Tell them about any of the games on this list, though, and you’re sure to get a few raised eyebrows.
Whether they’re excessively violent, full of sexual content, or just plain weird, these are the 15 Games You Should NEVER Play In Public.
15. Doki Doki Majo Shinpan!
Some Japanese games are really out there, so there are a few of them on our list. Doki Doki Majo Shinpan! is the first of these. It is a game with a concept that is so bizarre that it’s hard to believe it ever got made in the first place.
In this Nintendo DS game, you play as a high school student tasked with hunting down a witch who is hidden among your classmates. The way you find these witches is by, ah, “examining” the female students with the DS stylus in order to find the telltale mark of a witch.
This alone would be cause to keep this game to yourself, but the art style presents these high school girls as comically buxom, and their giggling reactions to your probing practically demand you wear earphones if you’re playing in public.
Who knew that infidelity could make for such an interesting video game? A 2011 release for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360, Catherine tells the bizarre, dreamlike story of Vincent, a man who cheats on his long-time girlfriend with a beautiful and free-spirited young woman he meets at a bar.
As he deals with the guilt of his actions and his general uncertainty about his life, he is pulled into a dream realm where he has to evade traps and demonic enemies.
Catherine is filled with scenes of Vincent rolling around in bed with his paramour, but the dream/nightmare sequences are where the game gets really weird. From the horns that sprout from Vincent’s head to the talking sheep-men that he has to deal with to the sexual depictions, you’ll have some explaining to do if someone looks over your shoulder while you play.
13. Rumble Roses
In the late 1990s and early 2000s, professional wrestling soared to new heights by incorporating more violence and sexual content. The latter ingredient clearly inspired the Rumble Roses games, released in 2004 and 2006 for the PlayStation 2 and Xbox 360, respectively.
The Roses games aren’t based on any real wrestling company, and instead feature a number of original characters in its all-female cast. There’s a bizarre backstory about a mad scientist trying to clone super soldiers, but the game is really about beautiful, scantily clad women getting in the ring and beating each other up.
Scantily clad may be an understatement, actually, as the outfits worn by the women in the Roses games are comically skimpy, and the wrestlers themselves have the epic proportions you’d expect from a game like this.
As another Nintendo DS game that was only released in Japan, LovePlus offers lovelorn gamers the chance to woo a beautiful girl of their very own– provided they don’t mind that she’s digital and can fit in the palm of their hand.
In this dating sim, gamers attend high school and get to know three different potential paramours. Wooing your chosen girl involves getting to know her likes and dislikes, taking her to enjoy her favorite hobbies, and attending to her wants and needs… just like a real relationship (albeit one that has an off switch).
Dating sims are certainly peculiar, but they’re generally harmless, unless the gamer gets a little too attached to their digital girlfriend. Marrying them, for example, is probably not a good idea.
11. Lollipop Chainsaw
If video games are good for anything, it’s hacking and slashing the undead. Zombie games are always popular, from Telltale’s gripping Walking Dead series to the fast paced action of the Left 4 Dead games. Lollipop Chainsaw has all the zombie destruction you could want, but its scantily clad heroine Juliet Starling earns the game a spot on this list.
Juliet is a high school cheerleader who carves her way through the undead masses in a skirt so short it may actually be a belt. In a fittingly meta moment, there is an achievement/trophy for players who position the camera at a particularly, um, advantageous angle beneath Juliet (and don’t think she doesn’t notice).
10. Mortal Kombat X
The Mortal Kombat franchise is infamous for the violence and gore showcased in its bloody battles and gruesome fatalities. The 1992 original changed the video game industry with its digitized carnage, but with the power of modern systems and high-definition screens, the violence reached a whole new level with Mortal Kombat X.
There have been a lot of great fatalities over the years, from Sub Zero’s spine rip to Johnny Cage uppercutting your head off, but they all seem pretty quaint compared to the death and destruction unleashed in MKX.
Johnny Cage rips through torsos to make a macabre The Shining reference, Kung Lao turns his iconic hat into a buzz saw, and Cassie Cage brutalizes her opponent before taking a selfie with them like a true millennial. Then there’s new character D’Vorah, who gives “kiss of death” a new meaning.
9. Leisure Suit Larry
When it comes to games with sexual content, Leisure Suit Larry is arguably the granddaddy of them all. The first game in the series was released in 1987 and introduced lovable loser Larry Laffer, a 40-year-old virgin (long before Steve Carell) who was desperate for some action.
His quest for love continued in a number of games released throughout the ’90s, and in 2004 his nephew Larry Lovage took over for Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude. In this college-based adventure, the new Larry tries to pick up coeds by navigating a mini-game with his sperm. Seriously.
In 2013, Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded revamped the original game for modern PCs and mobile devices, so now you can play as Larry wherever you go. Reviving Larry’s love life may not do much for yours, though.
8. Dead or Alive Xtreme 3
The Dead or Alive Xtreme series exists for just one reason, and it’s not to celebrate beach volleyball. It takes the already scantily clad ladies of the Dead or Alive series, equips them with the smallest bathing suits ever seen in a video game, and drops them on the beach for that “most popular” of video game sports: volleyball.
Why volleyball? Well, it’s a sport that involves a lot of jumping, and all of the Dead or Alive ladies boast physiques that defy gravity and most other laws of physics– it’s exactly what it sounds like.
7. Muscle March
Just look at Muscle March (seriously, just look at it) and you’ll understand why it belongs on this list.
As a 2010 WiiWare release, this very odd title puts you in the musclebound shoes of a bodybuilder chasing after a thief who has stolen your protein powder. As you and your fellow bodybuilders give chase, the fiend smashes through walls and you must match the bodybuilding pose he used in order to fit through the holes. If you get it wrong you’ll fall behind, never to see your beloved supplement again.
If the concept wasn’t crazy enough, the art style is equally bonkers. One of the bodybuilders you can choose from is a polar bear… just because? Additionally, there is also a giraffe on the combo counter. Yeah, we’re not sure why either.
6. Conan: Exiles
Sure, Conan: Exiles is violent– it’s a game filled with barbarians, after all. However, the reason you’ll want to play this game at home (and with the door shut, just in case) can be summed up in just two words: endowment slider.
When gamers create their character in the world of Conan: Exiles, they are given no small amount of customization tools to bring their warrior to life, and they can get very specific.
If you’re creating a male barbarian, you have the option of making his “equipment” as large or as small as you want it to be. We’re not talking about a generic bulge in your loincloth, either: in the medieval world of Conan, clothes aren’t especially durable, or readily available, so there are plenty of times when it all hangs out. The girth and length is entirely up to you.
5. Boong-Ga Boong-Ga
This is another game that is kind of self-explanatory. Just look at the arcade cabinet for Boong-Ga Boong-Ga and you’ll figure it out.
Yes, that is a peripheral in the shape of a person’s backside. The different characters in the game have all been bad in various ways, and it is your job to correct their behavior with some good old fashioned spanking. You might be spanking an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend, a gangster, a prostitute, or even a child molester, which will probably influence the number (and intensity) of spanks you dole out.
The game was only released in Japan, but if you happen upon one of these rare machines, you’ll want to keep walking, as the graphics can be… strange, to say the least. For gamers who perform well, the machine dispenses a plastic pile of poop. Maybe you shouldn’t have spanked them so hard after all?
4. Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad
A lot of games dress their heroines in decidedly impractical outfits, but Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad really takes the cake. These warrior princesses are charged with protecting Tokyo from zombies and they prepare for battle by putting on g-strings, lingerie, and tiny school girl outfits, which is extremely impractical.
Any zombie hunter worth her salt is going to want to wear some tactical gear or something that offers some form of protection, right? At the very least, you don’t want disgusting zombies slobbering all over your best bedroom gear. However, that’s a sacrifice the Bikini Samurai Squad is willing to make for their city.
3. HunieCam Studio
Business simulators are a popular (if somewhat niché) gaming genre. Franchises like Capitalism, Theme Park, and Railroad Tycoon let gamers wheel and deal in a number of different businesses, but 2016’s HunieCam Studio brings the genre into the relatively new realm of webcam studios.
This game for PC casts players as the boss of their very own webcam studio. A roster of buxom young ladies work for you as they ply their cam girl trade, and it’s up to you to maximize profits by setting prices, hiring new girls, and diversifying into other moneymaking avenues, such as strip clubs.
Like any good boss, you need to keep your employees happy. In HunieCam Studio, that means paying them well, plying them with drugs and booze, and equipping them with all the sex toys they need to reach the top of their chosen profession. Don’t let the cartoony style fool you: this is not a game for kids.
2. 7 Sins
Released for PlayStation 2 in 2005, 7 Sins is a life simulation game much like The Sims, but with a much darker concept. Instead of building happy homes for suburban families, you guide one man through a life of debauchery, as he explores each of the seven deadly sins: pride, greed, envy, wrath, lust, sloth, and gluttony. It’s actually a pretty unique concept for a game, though the execution isn’t flawless.
Different activities and mini-games represent different sins, some of which you’ll definitely want to keep to yourself. One mini-game for anger has you killing flies with your own urine, for example– good luck explaining that one to someone else. A lust mini-game, meanwhile, may involve you chatting up a woman in a club, or craning to see up the skirt of another.
1. Super Columbine Massacre RPG!
School shootings have become disturbingly common around the world, but in 1999 they were virtually unheard of. The Columbine Massacre changed that.
Super Columbine Massacre RPG combines old school sprite graphics with actual photographs of the school, students, and the two disturbed young men responsible for the massacre. This game actually puts players in the role of the killers as they perpetrate their horrific crimes. It then follows them into hell after their own deaths, where their story continues.
It’s no surprise that this game is extremely controversial. However, in fairness, it is not solely a depiction of the violence of that dark day: it attempts to explore the motivations of the killers, the media’s reaction to the event, and the response of the school community. Whatever the game’s intentions, though, it’s profoundly disturbing to take on the role of the two killers as they attack their innocent victims.
Would you play any of these games in public? Can you think of any other highly disturbing video games? Let us know in the comments.
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