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Two And A Half Men: The 10 Worst Things Jake Has Ever Done, Ranked

If you’ve just started watching Two and a Half Men, you most likely think Jake is a nice kid who has a bright future - well, don’t hold your breath. Jake turned into a lazy, good-for-nothing kid from Season 3 onwards, and his character became worse with each season. 

RELATED: Two And A Half Men: Every Season Ranked From Worst To Best

By the time he left, the fanbase wasn't even sad to see him go since there wasn’t anything to like about him anymore. Like his Uncle Charlie, Jake didn’t have much to do with morals or having a conscience, and valued food and women above all. Having said all that, here are the 10 worst things Jake did on Two and a Half Men.

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10 He Stopped Talking To His Father

Nobody likes it if their parent starts dating the parent of their best friend, but it’s something you have to get past. However, Jake took it the worst way by cutting off contact with Alan when he found out that Alan was secretly meeting with Eldrige’s mother.

The anger wasn’t very justified on Jake’s part either, considering the boy stopped giving two squats about what his father was up to years ago, and this sudden rage wasn’t something Alan was expecting. Even so, the fact of the matter was that Alan was his father, and since the guy was already such a loser this was just adding into his list of grievances.

RELATED: Two And A Half Men: 10 Questions About Jake, Answered

9 Accusing Charlie Of Hitting Him

When Jake started showing interest in the ladies he didn’t figure it was a problem that he was still a teenager. In one episode, Charlie used Jake to gain favor from a girl he was pursuing but found out Jake thought she would go for him instead.

His strategy to put her off Charlie involved lying about Charlie beating him up for sport. When the girl in question was out of sight, Jake feigned getting hit in order to make it appear as if Charlie believed in physical force to discipline him. In the end, Charlie came out looking like a man with anger issues who had no qualms striking a teenager.

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8 Cheating On His Girlfriend With Her Daughter

When Two and a Half Men reached its later seasons, the writers seemingly stopped caring at all and turned to the lamest angles to make things funny. One of these had Jake dating a 36-year-old woman when he himself wasn’t in his 20s yet. 

To make matters worse, Jake found out the woman had a grown daughter around his age, and then proceeded to have an affair with that girl while still being in a relationship with the mom. He didn’t even feel bad about it after he got caught, and just went on ahead to date the daughter from there on out.

7 Sabotaging Walden's Work

Walden’s work came from running a billion dollar company centering around his website. So, it goes without saying that keeping the servers running was essential to the business working; Jake ensured that wasn’t the case.

When Walden got him and Eldridge a job at his company to do nothing other than keep watch at the control room, Jake messed even that up by downloading massive amounts of adult material from the internet, which caused a virus to infect the servers and crash altogether. It’s worth mentioning here that Walden had also been keeping Jake at his home rent-free all this time too.

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6 Telling Alan He "Has" To Love Him

Although Alan’s character spiraled down so hard in the later seasons that he didn’t come across as anything as he once was, there was no doubting that he remained affectionate of Jake. It was Jake who became too lazy to the point where he got distant, and this instance illustrated that well.

When Alan was experiencing one of his recurring bouts of being a total loser, Jake “cheered” him up by telling him he loved him. He ruined this sentiment the very next moment by confessing he only loved Alan since he was the only father he had; he pretty much had to love him.

5 Disrespecting A Dead Man

In Season 2, Alan and Charlie’s ex-stepfather died, causing Alan a certain amount of grief as he had always looked up to the man as a father figure. However, Jake had no such respect for his one-time grandfather and only went to the funeral to check out the dead guy since it was an open coffin.

When he finally saw the body, Jake had several jokes to crack instead of paying any respects, as he mocked the man’s voice when Alan was speaking to the body and wanted to steal his expensive watch because the guy would have no need for it anymore.

RELATED: Two And A Half Men: 10 Questions About Alan, Answered

4 Keeping Two Girls Hidden In His Room

Season 8 started off by showing how much influence Charlie had on Jake, as it turned out he had been with two girls at the same time in his room. By this point, Jake was still a teenager and not close to being in his 20s, making this a case of debauchery.

Instead of listening to Alan’s anger at allowing two girls into the house for the night, a brash Jake shrugged off these words and lied about how the girls were just his friends. When Alan visited Jake at Judith’s home, the girls were still found in Jake’s room. Considering we never saw those girls again, it’s obvious Jake was using Charlie’s formula of dumping girls right after he got bored of them.

3 Dating Two Girls At Once

Two-timing wasn’t something one would have likened Jake with before we saw this episode, but he did do just that without remorse. Charlie encouraged Jake to be with two girls without telling the other, as it represented his journey into manhood.

Jake followed through with this by lying to his girlfriend Celeste about his whereabouts and went on a date with another girl he found pretty. Celeste, who had been very taken with Jake, was hurt to find out he had been cheating on her with a girl he had just met. To top it off, Jake then solely blamed Charlie for losing both girls even though no-one forced him to date them.

RELATED: Two And A Half Men: The 10 Worst Things Alan Has Ever Done, Ranked 

2 Being Embarrassed With Alan

Two and a Half Men Alan, Charlie, and Jake

Part of growing up comes with being embarrassed with your parents, as kids are known to make fun of someone they see around their folks. However, Jake was an extreme version of this when he admitted to Alan he didn’t want to do anything with him.

At one point, Jake even invited Rose (Charlie’s stalker) to go with him to the movies; when a hurt Alan asked him if he would be willing to go with anybody but him, Jake argued that he still had some morals: he wouldn’t watch a movie with the Fuhrer of Germany either!

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1 Not Caring That Charlie Died

For all his faults with his mother, his brother, and all the women he wronged, Charlie never did anything bad to Jake. In fact, Charlie had a very soft spot for his nephew as he was perfectly willing to keep him around and even gave him a check for $250,000 in the finale!

Jake didn’t seem to care about any of this, though, as we saw him in the Season 9 premiere having no reaction to Charlie’s supposed death. In its place, all Jake did was make farting noises and ask when they would be eating. It’s sad how Charlie placed Jake in high esteem, only for the latter to have no care for anything Charlie ever did for him.

NEXT: Two And A Half Men: The 10 Worst Things Walden Has Ever Done, Ranked

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