Twin Peaks: The 10 Weirdest Things The Log Lady Ever Said

Twin Peaks was chock-full of weird, wonderful, and iconic characters, but none were as prolific as the Log Lady, whose strange quotes stuck with us.

Twin Peaks may be almost three decades old, but its legacy lives on and thrives, especially in the wake of its recent revival in 2017. The crime drama turned absurdist wonder has captivated audiences for years, spawning theory after theory while inspiring many potential filmmakers.

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The show was full of iconic characters, from coffee lover and main character Agent Dale Cooper to the menacing and looming presence of BOB. But none captured the essence of the show quite like the Log Lady, Margaret Lanterman, played by the late and great Catherine E. Coulson. Her many strange monologues were often profound, or just straight-up odd, and so we've compiled the ten weirdest things she's ever said.

10 "One Day My Log Will Have Something To Say About This"

The Log Lady made an impression right away in her first conversation with Agent Cooper in the second episode of season one. Though she makes an appearance in the pilot episode during Sheriff Truman's introduction of her to Cooper, this is the first time we really get a sense of who she is and what that log might be doing in her arms.

She approaches Agent Cooper, having overheard him talk about the case of Laura Palmer, and says this cryptic line. Cooper's attempt to get information from her is largely for naught, though. The Log Lady simply instructs Cooper to "ask" her log about what it saw, and once she sees Cooper and Truman's skeptical looks at that request, she leaves.

9 "The Dog Ate So Much Earth It Died"

This quote is from "The Log Lady Introductions," a series of small monologues delivered by the woman herself. They were created by David Lynch in 1993 after the original show's airing in 1991, and they were meant to introduce each episode with a reflection on the theme of that episode's plot.

This particular monologue was delivered during Episode 19, in which, Margaret muses on dogs, generally speaking. She weaves a strange story about a black and white dog she used to have who died from eating her plants and "much earth." It's a sad story, but an odd one.

8 "This Is A Message From The Log"

The Log Lady's appearance in Twin Peaks: The Return was one of bittersweet sorrow. She was in just a few episodes of the 18-episode season, as the actress who played her, Catherine Coulson, had passed away of cancer shortly following the filming of her scenes in the revival.

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The scenes she appears in, though, are profound and perfectly on-brand for the Log Lady we know and love from the original series. In usual Log Lady style, Margaret gives Deputy Hawk a call to warn him, ending her strange omens with the line above. Her log always has something to say!

7 "What Really Is Creamed Corn?"

Featured in another of the Log Lady's monologues, this time placed before Episode 9, this quote kind of comes out of nowhere, like many of Margaret's comments. She thinks about space in this speech, asking questions about stars and "bigger beings."

Unexpectedly, the conversation turns when she abruptly asks about creamed corn and poses this question. It becomes a bit clearer later in the same episode and in the subsequent movie, Fire Walk With Me, that this refers to "garmonbozia," or a substance that reflects "pain and sorrow." Strange, indeed!

6 "Shut Your Eyes And You'll Burst Into Flames"

This is just one of many quotes from one of the most iconic sequences in Twin Peaks' first season, especially when it comes to the Log Lady's character. Agent Cooper and a few of the other members of the police department pay a visit to Margaret's house, where she invites them in for tea and cookies.

Quite unexpectedly, the Log Lady says this line as Agent Cooper and Sheriff Truman are walking in the door. They're a bit taken aback, to say the least, but the Sheriff simply responds with "Thanks, Margaret."

5 "The Answer Is Within The Question"

This is one of the Log Lady's most profound quotes, despite its initial strangeness. It's featured in yet another introduction of hers, as all of her most thoughtful lines seem to come from these little monologues.

In this one, Margaret thinks about how we "hide from ourselves," sometimes by using addictions to alcohol or drugs to escape our problems. Her proposed solution to this seemingly-endless issue is this quote, which is something "a wise person once said."

4 "I Do Not Introduce The Log"

This is from another of the Log Lady's cryptic conversations, this time with Major Garland Briggs in the second episode of season two. She comes bearing a message from her log, and it's pretty straight-forward: "Deliver the message." And, of course, the audience has no idea what that means quite yet, but Major Briggs does.

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Not only is this message strange, but their conversation prior to the delivery of the message is just as weird. Major Briggs, playing along with Margaret's log, jokes that they "haven't been introduced." The Log Lady definitely takes offense to that, though, as she says this line!

3 "My Log Does Not Judge"

This is another quote from the sequence where Agent Cooper, Sheriff Truman, and others visit the Log Lady's cabin, albeit rather accidentally. They first come upon the cabin while searching for a different one entirely, but they approach it with the same caution, guns at the ready.

The Log Lady makes a sudden appearance, startling the whole crew, and seems to indicate that she knew they would show up at that exact moment. When they don't immediately follow her, a bit thrown by her brusque demeanor, she says this line. At least her log has a good sense of hospitality!

2 "I Have Spit My Pitch Gum Out..."

This is just one line in an introductory monologue of even weirder lines, this time for Episode 26. In this, the Log Lady reminisces on the topic of pie, waxing poetic on the pies that Norma makes in the diner in Twin Peaks. That's definitely relatable: Our stomachs are rumbling just thinking about that sweet cherry pie!

But then Margaret's gentle reflection takes a turn for the decidedly strange. She expresses her hope that Norma likes her before claiming that she previously spat her gum all over the diner for no apparent reason other than "getting angry." Then the monologue just as abruptly turns back to the Log Lady's love of pies.

1 "You Can Ask It Now"

Margaret Lanterman has been shown in all of the previous quotes to have a close connection with her log, whatever it may be. Oftentimes she's "translating" for it, allowing it to communicate with the outside world in some fashion.

This iconic quote is uttered after Agent Cooper finally asks the log what it saw on the night of Laura Palmer's death. The answer the log gives through the Log Lady's translation is rather mysterious, to say the least, but it's a memorable scene that exemplifies the Log Lady's lasting legacy.

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