Fall 2009 TV: What's Premiering Tonight?

With the Fall season starting, we, once again, get a slew of new and returning shows - So many that it's impossible to watch everything. I have a DVR and even with my nerdy television calculations (Yes, I do have them), I can't figure out how to watch everything.

Let's break this down to see what's on tonight and whether or not it's worth watching.

What's New?

NBC: 8pm - Mercy

Mercy is about a whip-smart nurse (that's not me, that's straight out of the press release), Veronica Callahan, who has just returned to work at Mercy Hospital after a tour of service in Iraq. She's not afraid to bend the rules to save her patients, but her outspoken attitude might wind up costing her job. (that's my favorite part. "she's not afraid to bend the rules")

Well, I don't have much to say about that. I'm just sick of all the nurse shows all of a sudden. Yes, nurses are great. My mother is a nurse, but c'mon... does everyone have to jump on the band-wagon at once? It's like nurses are the new cops. The only reason why I'd watch this is because Michelle Trachtenberg is in it, but I'll probably be skipping this one tonight and maybe catch it online later.

ABC: 9pm - Modern Family

Modern Family has a more general description than the rule-bending Mercy. Modern Family is a new half-hour comedy that takes an honest and often hilarious look at the complexities of modern day families,

I know that doesn't really say much about this show, but I think it may have promise. We've got Ed O'Neill starring and Christopher Lloyd as co-creator (he also co-wrote the pilot). Modern Family also has Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who was pretty good in the CBS show, The Class. I think there's enough comedy credibility behind this show to give it a watch and it has quickly become one of ABC's major pushes after testing so well with focus groups.

ABC: 9:30pm - Cougar Town

This is my favorite/worst titled show of the upcoming series'. Cougar Town stars Courtney Cox as Jules, a recently divorced single mother exploring the honest truths about dating and aging in our beauty and youth obsessed culture. While most women in their twenties go through life experiencing the challenges and often humorous pitfalls of meeting men, Jules took on the responsibilities of marriage and raising a son. Now in her forties, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery whilst surrounded by fellow divorcees and singletons eager to live or re-live a time gone by.

Oh, wow. This show just doesn't look good to me. The title alone makes me want to hate this show. I can't believe that ABC let them go with it. I guess this is how the mouse (Disney owns ABC) gets racy. Still, Team Cox (including David Arquette) has done alright for themselves. I really enjoyed the first season of Dirt, but then the writers strike happened and blah blah blah, it got shut down. Although, it was going in a bad direction before that. I guess this is for more of the Lipstick Jungle/Sex and the City type crowed. I'll pass, but might catch it online or in repeats.

ABC: 10pm - Eastwick

Eastwick comes from the popular book and movie of the same name. In the seaside village of Eastwick, three very different women (Charmed?) are about to discover some bewitching talents they never knew they had. And once they get together -- watch out -- (UH-OH! You hear that? Watch out!)

I'm completely indifferent about this. I remember watching the movie and enjoying it. I was terrified of cherry pits for six months after. Still, something about this just doesn't sit right with me. My problem is that there are endings to this story. I know how the movie ends and because I've seen the movie, I pretend to know how the book ends. It's always hard for me to get into things where I know what the ending is or where it's going. The Jack Nicholson character is still in this show. We know what he does and where it takes the women. If it takes a full season for the same thing to happen than there's no point in watching. I've already seen it with better talent. Maybe it's just me being grumpy.

What's Returning?

CBS: 8pm - New Adventures of Old Christine

Well, this show is back again and I can't say too much about it because I've never seen it - Not even a little bit of it. It's supposed to be hilarious and I have no reason to doubt it. Although, I do have to mention that I'm a HUGE fan of Clark Gregg. Ever since his stint in the last two episodes of Sports Night as "Guy," I've been a fan. Then I find out he's married to Jennifer Grey (Baby in Dirty Dancing) and I like him even more.

CBS: 8:30pm - Gary Unmarried

I'm a big fan of Jay Mohr. I think he's a decent comedian, but a great actor and a really great comedic actor. I think he's going to win an Oscar or at least an Emmy some day. Mark my words. (If he happens to do neither, erase my words). This marks the sophomore year (love saying that) of Mohr's comedy endeavor after leaving Ghost Whisperer (He was great in Ghost Whisperer. Really great.) and I will be watching this show. I love this show. I think this show has some of the best writing since Roseanne. The jokes and delivery are perfect. This season will mark Gary's (Mohr) attempt to become a radio host. I'm not sure how that's going to work out, but I have a feeling it's going to play more of a part than his painting job did previously.

CBS: 9pm - Criminal Minds

This show's about criminals and their minds. Seriously, though... this is a pretty decent show. Sure, it's take a step down since Mandy (my name is Inigo Montoya) Patinkin stepped down, but Joe Mantegna has done a good job taking over the reigns. This will mark his sophomore year (I told you I love saying it) on the show. I can't remember where we left off last season, but I'll be watching it. If anything, just so I can memorize the quotes from the beginning and ending of the show and then spout them off tomorrow and sound really smart. Unless the person saw the show as well. Than I sound really stupid. Either way, it should be interesting.

CBS: 10:00pm - CSI: NY

This week CBS has been pulling out their big guns. Oh, what's that NBC? Leno? Pshh.... we have CSI. How many nights is Leno on? 5? Yeah... we've got 3 CSI's and we're going to create 2 more just to make you cry. Tonight is the return of the New York version of the world's favorite Crime Scene Investigators in their 6th season. The interesting thing about the CSI shows are that I watch them, but for different reasons. There are different things that I like about each one. I like the over-the-top nature of Miami, but I enjoy the character interactions of NY. I think the original one might be my least favorite. Especially now that Grissom is gone.

Phew... There we go. That's what's on tonight. I know that I missed many things. Dancing with the Stars, Glee, Ghost Hunters and of course Man Vs Food (I'll be watching that as well). I just wanted to focus on the premiere episodes of new and returning shows.

What will you be watching tonight? Are any of these new shows going to be winners or can you smell their cancellation a mile away? What show tonight are you most looking forward to returning? Any cliffhangers we should know about? Speak now. I command. (I used my deep, manly voice to say all that. It's very intimidating. If you could hear it. But you can't. So it's not.)

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