Whether cinematic triumph or a corporate excuse to clean house, 1986's Transformers: The Movie has cemented itself as a pop culture hit with a huge cult following that continues right to this day. Originally conceived as a bridge between Seasons 2 and 3 of the syndicated Saturday morning cartoon series, Transformers: The Movie turned out to be a shockingly fun guilty pleasure that took everything fans loved about the show, and cranked it up. The movie was darker, more violent, and far more intense than the animated series, but it was also loaded with scenes of comedic hilarity.
In between shocking moments of carnage and death (including the beloved Optimus Prime) there was plenty of time to lighten the mood with some hilarious quotes. Here's 10 that will stand the test of time as the absolute best of the entire film!
"Every time I look into a monitor Prime, my circuits sizzle. When are we going to start busting Deceptichops?"
Ironhide remained one of the most hot-headed of Optimus Prime's original Autobots, and rarely passed up an opportunity to take the fight to them. After spending two seasons in direct opposition to Megatron and his Decepticons, his story was fast-forwarded to the future year 2005, where the Autobots had established a resistance on Cybertron.
Ever-looking forward to the next battle with his Decepticon foes, Ironhide expressed his impatience to Prime with this quote. It would prove to be his undoing, as his character was killed off early in the movie by Megatron.
"Grimlock, get your noodle outta' my face!"
Before the smoke had a chance to clear after the fateful Battle of Autobot City, Megatron returned to finish the job as the newly rebuilt Galvatron. The Autobots fled Earth in two separate ships in an attempt to shake Cyclonus and the Sweeps.
During the attack, Kup did what he does best - recount old war stories. While attempting to fire up the engine boosters, Grimlock's one-track mind kicked in, prompting him to stick his nose in Kup's face and distract him, which elicited this blunt burn!
"Hey, nobody calls Soundwave uncrassimatic!"
After Megatron was beaten to a pulp by Optimus Prime at the Battle of Autobot City, the Decepticons found themselves without a leader to continue the fight. This, combined with Prime's reinforcements forced them to retreat the planet on board Astrotrain.
Starscream took the opportunity to dump near-dead Decepticons into the depths of space, including his former leader Megatron. With that out of the way, the Decepticons quickly began talking about a successor. Naturally, everyone weighed in, even Soundwave. When the Constructicons insulted him by saying "Nobody would follow an uncharismatic bore like you!" Frenzy and Rumble ejected to come to his defense in a far less eloquent manner!
"We got Decepticons at the gates! Decepticons in the air! Decepticons inside the walls...
...Decepticons, Decepticons, Decepticons! If we beat them off the walls they're still in the air, if we shoot them out of the air they're still at the gates! So where does that leave us? Nowhere, that's where!"
This quote comes courtesy of the Autobot Blurr, played by the amazing John "Motormouth" Moschitta Jr., so nicknamed for his ability to talk extremely quickly without error.
As the Battle of Autobot City dragged out across the span of almost a full day, Blurr pulled double-time to try and fend them off - no small feat for one such as himself!
"Yeow! Why boy hurt my nose?"
When the Dinobots stumbled upon Wheelie on the planet Quintessa, he attempted to play nice, but made the mistake of bruising Grimlock's rather fragile ego. After laughing at them for going the wrong way, Grimlock took a swat at Wheelie and knocked him to the ground, prompting him to retaliate with a slingshot blast right to the sniffer.
It was enough to stun the ferocious Dinobot and cause him pain, eliciting this rather humorous quote. For all his bravado and fearsome strength, it seemed Grimlock had a sensitive spot, after all!
"I'm trying to remember. There were an awful lot of casualties that day. Oh, yeah! We inverted polarities!"
While being chased by Galvatron in the deep reaches of space, the Autobots were fired upon by Galvatron, who launched tracking missiles at their ship. Barely missing them the first time, the missiles turned on a dime to pursue their target. Hot Rod noted that the missiles were closing in, prompting Kup to recount a war story about the "Shrikebats of Dramadon."
When Hot Rod asked how they dealt with them, Kup uttered this darkly humorous quote before suddenly remembering the solution. It worked... sort of. The missiles made another turn, but exploded prematurely.
"Me Slag say you full of beryllium baloney!"
The Dinobots have trouble keeping it together on a good day, much less in the wake of a crisis. After finding themselves on the planet Quintessa, Grimlock leads the Dinobots on a quest to find Kup and Hot Rod, who had been taken captive by the Quintessons.
Eventually, the endless searching led to immense frustration, prompting Grimlock and Slag to descend into quirky insults which began with this quote. It would have led to a brawl, had it not been for the sudden arrival of Wheelie.
"Turbo roddin' young punk! I'll straighten you out yet!"
Hot Rod may have taken the Autobot Matrix of Leadership and become their next leader Rodimus Prime, but he started out as juvenile, carefree and irresponsible. Rather than commit to any hard work, Hot Rod spent most of his days in pursuit of fun. When the Autobot shuttle from Cybertron was due to arrive on Earth, Hot Rod decided to take young Daniel to Lookout Mountain to watch it land.
Naturally, this involved reckless driving at high speeds, and a total disregard for anyone in his path, including Kup and his Autobot work crew who smashed through his "Off Limits" sign. Kup was none too pleased, spouting off this quote as Hot Rod drove off.
"Me Grimlock kick butt!"
The Dinobots were known for being literal, but Grimlock took it to another level when he uttered this quote during the final battle against Unicron. After dispatching all Autobots to combat the giant planet-eating Transformer, the Dinobots tried to inflict as much damage as possible on their foe.
Grimlock did exactly as he said, drop-kicking Unicron right in the keyster and leaving a rather large indentation. It wasn't enough to stump Unicron, who nearly crushed them all to death, forcing Grimlock to admit "Me Grimlock need new strategy!"
"It isn't even dented! Oh s**t! What are we gonna' do now?"
Every Transformers fan laughed with shock and amusement upon hearing this quote, which comes courtesy of Unicron's first attack on Cybertron, where he destroys two of its moons. When Spike and Bumblebee rig a detonations pack to explode while Unicron devours one of the moons, they mistakenly believe it's enough to destroy the invader, altogether.
When the dust clears, Unicron is revealed to be undamaged, prompting Spike to utter this timeless, memorable quote. It was certainly out of place to hear an S-Bomb dropped in a kid's cartoon movie, even by today's standards. Think how shocking it must have been during the 1980s!