Trailer Park Boys has given us some greasy quotes over the years, but no one is quite as relatable as Bubbles (Mike Smith). The kitty loving cart thief lives in a shed, but somehow, he's the anchor that keeps his friends Ricky (Robb Wells), and Julian (John Paul Tremblay) grounded. Oddly enough, despite his career in the world of crime, he's managed to stay out of jail more than his associates. There's something genuine about him that made fans fall in love with him, making him a relatable character. That's what we're going to focus on for this list. Here are 10 hilarious Bubble quotes that'll make you say "same."
10 'Well, when I was a little guy, I always wanted to go up into space, be a spaceman. But you gotta be able to see really f****n' good to do that job'
From: "Temporary Relief Assistant Trailer Park Supervisor" (Season 3, Episode 2)
Quote: "Well, when I was a little guy, I always wanted to go up into space, be a spaceman. But you gotta be able to see really f****n' good to do that job. Some guy would take one look at me and say...'uhhh, sorry sir, you gotta be able to see a little better than that.' I don't give a f***k."
Space is the final frontier, and for Bubbles, it was his dream. Unfortunately, being an astronaut is really difficult if you don't have good eyesight, and that deterred our favorite Sunnyvale Trailer Park resident. Bubbles opened up about his failed aspirations after he missed out on getting the assistant supervisor position at his trailer park, which he attributes to his vision as well. Maybe one day things will work out for our poor-sighted friend.
9 'I don't want to be known as the guy who walks up and slaps badonkadonks'
From: "Don't Cross the Sh*tline" (Season 5, Episode 6)
Quote: "I don't want to be known as the guy who walks up and slaps badonkadonks"
When filming on of J-Roc's "greasy movies," he's asked to walk up and slap one of the actresses on her behind, but Bubbles, ever the gentleman, doesn't feel comfortable doing that. He was eventually asked why, especially after he didn't have a problem with it in past movies, and he explains that he was a different character then. Now that he's not a Russian superagent, he doesn't like the idea of objectifying women like that.
We have to appreciate Bubbles here, he doesn't want to be that guy.
8 'Ricky, can't we just have one day of no yelling and no horse sh*t and just play some f***ing hockey?'
From: "The Delusions of Officer Jim Lahey" (Season 3, Episode 7)
Quote: "Ricky, can't we just have one day of no yelling and no horse sh*t and just play some f***ing hockey?"
Any Canadian reading this list probably relates hard to this quote, but we think this could be a universal quote. Look, Bubbles' life is hectic, and a lot of that is because of his affiliation with Ricky, and he just wanted a break from it all. In the great white north, there's no better way to relax than to kick back, crack open a Molson and play some road hockey. Unfortunately for Bubbles, he happened to say this on the anniversary of the day Mr. Lahey was kicked off the police force, because of the boys, so shenanigans are afoot.
7 'On special occasions, I always pound the liquor into me, Julian'
From: "Never Cry Shitwolf" (Season 4, Episode 1)
Quote: "On special occasions, I always pound the liquor into me, Julian."
There's nothing like a few drinkie-poos to celebrate your best friend getting out of prison. That's exactly what Bubbles did when Julian became a free man again.
He was knocking back the drinks out of a coffee pot. Throughout the episode, Bubbles gets more and more intoxicated and even tried yelling into a cop's walkie-talkie. He ended up getting thrown in the drunk-tank when everything was said and done. We call that a good afternoon.
6 '...If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, you own it. If it doesn’t, you don’t own it. And if it doesn’t you’re an a**hole, just like you'
From: "F**k Community College, Let's Get Drunk and Eat Chicken Fingers" (Season 1, Episode 2)
Quote: "Here’s what I know, Rick. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, you own it. If it doesn’t, you don’t own it. And if it doesn’t you’re an a**hole, just like you."
When it comes to Bubble's there are few things he loves more than his kitties. So, when he lends one to Ricky to keep him company while he's sleeping in Julian's car, he thinks he's being nice. Unfortunately, Ricky believes the cat is his now, and when Bubbles comes to take him back, fireworks fly. Eventually, Julian intervenes and that's when this sage wisdom is dropped.
This is actually pretty relatable, we've all had to let go of something at one point in the hopes it will come back.
5 'Lahey, can you please get the flying f**k out of our way? We gotta go get Rush tickets!'
From: "Closer To The Heart" (Season 3, Episode 5)
Quote: "Lahey, can you please get the flying f**k out of our way? We gotta go get Rush tickets!"
Look, when Rush comes to town, you go to see them, and that's exactly what Bubbles did. Unfortunately, Jim Lahey (John Dunsworth) got in the way of that. That's when we got this quote. We get it Bubbles, you want to see the best band in the world.
The whole episode goes a little sideways when they couldn't get in and Ricky kidnaps Alex Lifeson, the band's guitarist, but the thrill of hunting for a ticket must have been fun.
4 'I can't wait to start f**in' hammerin' people!' (shoulder-checks his shed door)
From: "The Green B*stard" (Season 4, Episode 4)
Quote: "I can't wait to start f**in' hammerin' people!" (Shoulder-checks his shed door.)
We love wrestling as much as the next guy, but Bubbles might be a superfan. He loves it so much, in fact, that he made his own persona, The Green B*stard! As soon as he donned the tights, he wanted to get in the ring and start fighting, so, he set his sights on Cory (Cory Bowles) and Trevor (Michael Jackson).
Look, we can relate to this quote a little too much. We've all been there, especially in our younger days after watching some Shawn Michaels, where all we want to do is practice our flying elbow even after we were told to not try it at home. Never change Bubs, never change.
3 'When somebody like Alex Lifeson gives you a f***in' t-shirt to put on, you're puttin' the f***in' thing on. I don't care if you don't wear shirts'
From: "Closer To The Heart" (Season 3, Episode 5)
Quote: "When somebody like Alex Lifeson gives you a f***in' t-shirt to put on, you're puttin' the f***in' thing on. I don't care if you don't wear shirts."
We know Randy (Patrick Roach) doesn't like wearing shirts, so when Alex Lifeson, one of the best guitarists of all time, gives the group some t-shirts after being kidnapped by Ricky, Bubbles makes sure everyone wears them. We're sure at this point in time, the glasses wearing shed-resident, was fed up of Randy and Layhe after the duo bamboozled the group out of tickets to see Rush live. Everything worked out apparently though, the gang saw the band play, and now they have t-shirts to commemorate the day.
We don't think there were ever truer words spoken.
2 'Man, I hope it's not a f****ing samsquanch...'
From: "Rub 'N Tiz'zug" (Season 4, Episode 3)
Quote: "Man, I hope it's not a f****ing samsquanch, I hate those f***ing bastards."
We've all been there. You're watching a samsquanch documentary and you hear a rustling outside. That's exactly what happened to Bubbles, as he watched TV with his kitties.
His door starts to creep open, and it looks like one of those hairy guys is trying to break in, so he calls up Ricky, who happens to be watching the same show, and they beat the monster with baseball bats. He fights back a bit, but eventually, he's outnumbered. Unfortunately, it turns out the samsquanch was just Julian, covered in blankets.
1 'I can eat a f***in' bucket myself'
From: Tragically Hip, "The Darkest One" Music Video
Quote: "I can eat a f***in' bucket myself."
We don't think there's anything more Canadian than the trailer park boys haggling with Gord Downy of the legendary Canadian rock group The Tragically Hip about chicken, but that's exactly what happened in the music video for "The Darkest One."
Here, we see Bubbles wake Ricky up saying Gord Downy will give them a bucket of chicken to steal a motor. That's when they realize a bucket isn't enough and they begin to ask for more. They end up settling on two buckets and a drive to the liquor store and call it a day, but we can't help but relate to that specific quote, especially after some drinking.