TiVo busted you, America!
How exactly did Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz become the #1 most TiVo'd moment from the Oscars?
Let us break it down for you:
When Jennifer Lopez took to the stage to present the award for Best Costume Design and Best Makeup, the collective male audience watching took notice of her "lovely dress." Then when the next commercial break came up, and everyone's significant other went to the bathroom to get away from the litany of Ellen Degeneres' JC Penney commercials, the men made their move.
Like Alex Rogan in The Last Starfighter, the men of America worked the rewind button on the remote control like a master… because they knew they saw something.
Unfortunately, you didn't see anything, as the designer of the dress revealed that J-Lo did not have a wardrobe malfunction, but that the dress just makes it look like she has.
Still, Centauri would have been proud... of both you and the dress designer.