This Is Us tugs at every heartstring you can imagine. Just when you think the show can't possibly do something else you make you weep like a little child who just lost their favorite stuffed animal, they manage to bring the waterworks once again. Lately, among the many emotional storylines going on concurrently is a strained relationship between Kate and Toby. Now married, they struggled to get pregnant, finally did, and their son was born blind.
While it seems he is regaining some sight, able to see blurry images (which we know from the flash-forwards of him as an adult), he is for all intents and purposes, legally blind. This has put a strain on their marriage along with Toby dealing with his depression and Kate with her family issues and trying to be the best mother to little Jack she can be, often on her own. And while we don't know what happens in the future, we do know things will go one way or another for the couple. Which way should they go?
He Was So Sweet To Her: Stay Together
The way Toby treated Kate when they were dating was too sweet for words. He swept her off her feet, making her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. He poured on the love and affection and did anything and everything he could to make her feel special, which was exactly what she needed.
But something changed after the wedding, especially when Toby stopped taking his medication in order to help increase their chances of getting pregnant. It seemed to go downhill from there but we're hopeful they can get back to the place they were.
He Is Having a Hard Time With Jack's Disability: Break Up
While Kate has taken the news of Jack's disability like a champ, rushing to make the house more accommodating to him, signing them up for retreats to learn more about how to be a parent to a blind child, and adapting perfectly to Jack's needed, Toby is having trouble.
We can't fault him for that as having a child with any type of disability can be tough news to swallow and some people just need more time to accept it. But they have to be a team and he can't leave everything on Kate, which he has been doing. At this point, Kate might actually be happier as a single mother focusing on her son.
She Has Been Through Enough: Stay Together
While Kate grew up in a loving family, she had things pretty rough in some respects. She was teased as a child and suffered from her weight. She lost her father as a teenager and dated an abusive boyfriend. She had a strained relationship with her mother and never seemed to be able to have to confidence to pursue her dream of singing.
She finally found someone who seemed to be the perfect man and together, they have a perfect family. Kate has been through enough so they should really try their best to make it worth, not only for their sakes but for Jack's.
He Was Lying To Her: Break Up
The first sign that things aren't going well in a relationship is lying. And Toby did that to Kate when he told her he was working late or going to the grocery store. Sure, it's not like he was cheating. But he was secretly working out to get fit while also venting his frustrations about his child.
While we can't fault Toby for wanting to better himself, it was totally unfair to Kate not only that he would lie about that but that he would take so much time for himself when she didn't have the option to do the same and try to get her own weight under control.
He Gets Along With the Family: Stay Together
Toby has become one of the family. When he had a heart attack, they all rallied together for Kate and him. When he proposed, the brothers took him to Vegas for a bachelor party. He is at every family gathering and has won the heart of Rebecca, Kate's mom.
He has also done whatever he could to help honor Kate's father Jack, including naming his son after him. Toby is an honorary Pearson and we'd hate to see that change. Plus, if he's gone, who else will Miguel be able to bond with as the resident "outsider" beyond Beth?
He Is More Focused On Himself Than The Family: Break Up
Toby lied to Kate not about another woman but about secretly going to the gym. Part of this was to be healthier for his child and lose weight. Another part was to use the gym as a way to vent his frustrations about his situation and life.
We totally get that but with a new baby who has special needs, Toby seems more focused on himself than actually helping Kate parent their son and cater to his needs. As a father, while we respect his need to focus on himself in order to be better for his son he can't do this at the expense of his wife and son.
Kate Has Always Wanted a Love Like Her Parents: Stay Together
Kate, like the other Pearson children, has always looked at her parent's marriage as the hold standard to live up to. Rebecca and Jack were intensely in love with one another from the moment they met to the day he died, and even beyond.
Kate longed for a love like that so when she met Toby, who in some ways was a sappy romantic like her dad, it was perfect. We wish the old Toby would return and they could have a love like "Jebecca" did.
Kate Has A Strong Social Support System: Break Up
As bad as it sounds, Kate doesn't really need Toby. If he isn't offering her or Jack the support they need, she might be better off moving on. She has her mother, though she is going through her own issues as well. She has Miguel, her brother Kevin, her brother Randall and his family. And her bestie Madison.
So really, Kate and Jack will be well taken care of should Toby decide that it's all too much for him. Of course, we hope that he comes around. But in the event that he doesn’t, breaking up might be the easiest route.
They Are Adorable Together: Stay Together
Let's face it: the two are adorable together. They do cute and thoughtful things for one another. They are sometimes like giddy teenagers. They are hopelessly romantic and sweet.
Toby's attempts at jokes are so dumb that you have to laugh. While Kate often seems happiest when she has Toby by her side. There have been a lot of fights of late but they have also been going through a lot. Every relationship has a rough patch. But if it's true love, they should push through and move forward.
Toby Has His Own Personal Demons To Figure Out: Break Up
We learned when we got a glimpse of Toby's upbringing that he suffers from depression and has for some time. In fact, even as a child, he would use humor to mask his sadness. We also learned that he fell into a deep funk after his first failed marriage that led him to overeat.
We also saw how reliant he was on medication after he was bedridden and depressed when he stopped taking pills in hopes of having a better chance to conceive. Toby has dealt with a lot of demons in his life, and while Kate has been great for him for the most part, everything that comes with raising a disabled child might be too much for him in the end and could be a risk to his mental health.