Although the swashbuckler genre has clearly outstayed its welcome in Hollywood and superheroes now dominate the multiplex, Disney refuses to let a franchise die. So a reboot of the Pirates of the Caribbean series is in development.
It’s been in and out of momentous progress, with various directors and screenwriters floating around the project at any given time. If the Pirates franchise is going to recover from its last couple of disasters, this movie will need to be the Batman Begins of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. So, here are 10 Things The Pirates Of The Caribbean Reboot Needs.
No Johnny Depp (or Jack Sparrow)
Although his legal battle with ex-wife Amber Heard is still ongoing, it’s pretty clear that the public opinion of Johnny Depp has changed since various sordid allegations came out about his personal life. It was no coincidence that Alice Through the Looking Glass bombed at the box office a couple of weeks after Heard accused Depp of domestic abuse. The reboot of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise needs to distance itself from Depp as much as possible. And casting someone else to play Jack Sparrow would be a terrible idea. The Jack Sparrow shtick is tired, even if Johnny Depp himself is doing it.
Fun swashbuckling adventure tone
The style set for the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise by director Gore Verbinski was heavily inspired by old swashbuckling adventures from the Golden Age of Hollywood. The sequels ignored this style in favor of challenging The Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Star Wars Special Editions for the most outlandish CGI creatures included in each frame. Whatever form the reboot of the franchise takes, it should keep an eye on the old-timey filmmaking flairs pioneered by those old pirate movies from the ‘50s. The reboot could even put a fun, postmodern, Tarantino-esque twist on classical Hollywood movie tropes.
Non-cringeworthy humor
The Pirates of the Caribbean movies have always included humor to lighten the mood – because, after all, this is a Disney franchise, and therefore targeted at children – but it’s usually tired jokes and Johnny Depp rambling about rum, which can elicit more cringes than laughs. The comic relief in the Pirates movies is just a couple of tiers above the cross-dressing gag in the third Hobbit movie or the sexist Lasso of Truth gag in Justice League. Recent Hollywood blockbusters like the MCU movies have been doing a great job of imbuing well-told plotting and emotional character development with a healthy dose of humor that actually lands. The Pirates reboot needs that.
Interesting romance
As with most modern-day blockbusters, the romantic subplots in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies tend to be undercooked, featuring a bland couple who have no on-screen chemistry and instantly lose the audience’s interest. The Pirates movies suffered from this particularly in Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann’s predictable relationship.
Another recent example of this irritating trope is the banal love triangle of Bella, Edward, and Jacob in The Twilight Saga, which was actually written as a love story. Compare this with an example of a blockbuster franchise with a romantic subplot that audiences actually find interesting – Guardians of the Galaxy’s Peter Quill and Gamora – and it’s easy to see the Pirates series’ room for improvement in this area.
A breakout character
What helped Pirates of the Caribbean become an internationally adored movie franchise in the first place was having a breakout character. Jack Sparrow instantly clicked with audiences and propelled a so-so swashbuckler homage to widespread acclaim and commercial success. The Pirates reboot doesn’t need “the new Jack Sparrow,” but it does need a new breakout character that will hook audiences like Jack Sparrow did, once upon a time. This is similar to how Robert Downey, Jr.’s Tony Stark hooked audiences early and became the spiritual spine of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s 23-part “Infinity Saga.”
Ignore the fact that it’s based on a theme park attraction
Unfortunately, our culture has devolved so far into veiled consumerism that today’s filmgoers are watching more movies based on theme park attractions than indie masterpieces. It’s a crying shame. The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise was adapted from a Disneyland ride, but the Mouse House’s reboot should move as far away from that label as possible. Just give us a good old-fashioned pirate movie. Don’t look back to the theme park attraction for inspiration to get the franchise “back to its roots.” Forget that it’s based on a theme park attraction at all and just reboot Pirates of the Caribbean as a straightforward swashbuckler flick.
More historical basis
The Pirates of the Caribbean movies have flirted with real-life history with mentions of the British Empire and the East India Trading Company. But it didn’t have fun with its historical setting, like how the Indiana Jones movies used their place in history to satirize the Nazi Party. Instead, the other Pirates of the Caribbean movies focused on made-up legends, like the Kraken. At the end of the day, it is a big-budget blockbuster, not a history lesson, but blending history into the plot, a la Forrest Gump, could be a lot of fun – and a way for the reboot to distinguish itself.
Strong female characters
There are a couple of interesting female ancillary characters in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise – like the Obeah sorceress Tia Dalma, played by Naomie Harris – but it’s been mostly male-dominated so far, with no truly compelling lead females. Elizabeth Swann was little more than a dull romantic interest who served only to advance Jack Sparrow and Will Turner’s friendly rivalry.
On Stranger Tides’ female lead, played by Penelope Cruz, was just a comic foil for Johnny Depp, and Dead Men Tell No Tales’ female lead, played by Kaya Scodelario, was a mixing pot of pandering feminism: a scientific genius seeking an education who is accused of being a witch. It’s about time a Pirates movie got a real, human, strong female lead.
Meta commentary
Self-awareness is a common trope in the media these days. If Hollywood pokes fun at itself for selling out, then it can side-step any real criticism for selling out. But meta commentary can also be used to add another layer to the text, like in Deadpool or 21 Jump Street. Pirates of the Caribbean is such a well-known franchise, and it’s been so spectacularly run into the ground over the past decade, that not calling attention to itself in the reboot would feel disingenuous. Disney can’t get away with more uninspired winks to the audience like Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ “bigger Death Star.”
Unique directorial vision
The best way for Hollywood to attract audiences to a franchise reboot that’s just a shameless cash-grab is to make sure that the movie is good. For the Pirates reboot, Disney should hire a talented auteur who grew up watching swashbuckler movies and has a grand vision of a modern big-budget swashbuckler blockbuster that brings old filmmaking techniques into the modern-day with a fresh twist. 2013’s failed Lone Ranger movie is an example of this turning out horribly, crashing and burning at the box office, but that movie suffered from all kinds of behind-the-scenes setbacks and clashes between the filmmakers and the studio.