The Simpsons: D&D Alignments Of The Family

A family is a lot like an adventuring party. Think about families that work together as superheroes, explorers, scientists or crimefighters. You don't always need to live in a fantasy universe or DnD module to have an adventure. When you have a family to take care of, sometimes it feels like every day is another high-level quest. That's where The Simpsons come in.

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We identify with them because, after all the wacky things that happen to them, at the end of the day, they're still a family. Let's take a look at the good, evil and neutral alignments of what could be the perfect adventuring party.

10 Marge Simpson - Chaotic Good

The Simpsons Marge cheats in a bakeoff

Marge is the anchor of the whole show and has to have an alignment that can keep it all together. You have to be able to ride the chaos and support your family, and sometimes she has to break the rules to get there. There is one rule that Marge never breaks, and that's where her family is concerned. She stands by them no matter what, including her sloth of a husband.

Sometimes she does things that are deceptive, underhanded, or just plain selfish, but what takes her out of the Neutral category is that she always acts for the Good of her family, as Chaotic as it may be.

9 Homer Simpson - Neutral Good

You would think that just his nature would put him in the chaotic or even evil category, but Homer usually makes the right decision in the end even if the whole episode couldn't have taken place without his blatant self-interest. He's also surrounded by characters like Lisa and Marge, each with an alignment that puts them firmly in the Good category, so there's plenty of positive reinforcement.

Every so often he'll make a horrible mistake, like using Lisa's math skills to bet on football or having a few too many drinks and missing her sax recital, but he always redeems himself in the end. With just a bit more good than he is evil, Homer is Neutral Good.

8 Bart Simpson - Chaotic Neutral

Bart isn't quite evil, although we're sure he would prefer to be, the fact is that he's a lot like his dad and, on a darker side, like his aunts. But being unpredictable isn't the same as being Evil. When Bart gets into trouble or causes it for someone else, it's because of a sudden compulsion or selfish desire.

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Patty is often cold and calculating, thinking about the future and how her actions affect her future plans. His lack of planning skills, along with his willingness to run to either his Lawful Good sister or Chaotic Good mother for help, keep him from taking the Evil title completely.

7 Maggie Simpson - True Neutral

Maggie is like Malfurion Stormrage from Warcraft lore. He's a powerful entity that can twist the storyline to his own aims but sleeps until called. Druids are often associated with this alignment, which is associated with the amoral power of nature.

This overrides personal feelings, practical needs or well-laid plans. It's hard to tell exactly what Maggie's motivations are. She simply appears out of nowhere to save the day, shoot the bad guy, or give us some exposition with the voice of James Earl Jones. Her unpredictable stance and seeming superpowers are typically the traits of a True Neutral character.

6 Lisa Simpson - Lawful Good

The Simpsons Lisa Simpson

Lisa tries to emulate her mother's alignment by taking Good a step further into Lawful territory. Out of the whole family, it's Lisa that has the strongest personal code of conduct. It's a reflection of nobility but also idealism.

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She makes a great effort and often succeeds, but when her mother has to come to her rescue it's because the problem can't be solved with logic, science, and the rule of law. Her deep connection with Chaotic Neutral paternal grandmother Norma foreshadows her future, fighting for justice from a place of authority and prestige.

5 Grandpa Simpson - Lawful Neutral

Grandpa Simpson

We've all seen the "old man shakes fist at cloud" meme, and that pretty much sums up old man Simpson. He stubbornly follows antiquated codes and rules that are from a bygone time. Abraham Simpson, often called "Abe by his friends, was never really young.

He was always an old man trapped in a much younger body. He embodies every senior stereotype you ever knew, including the gruff old guy that clings to meaningless conventions and loves to preach about them to captive audiences. Like other characters of this alignment, however, he reverts to his own personal code when convention works against him, like the time he stole Jackie Bouvier from her wedding with Mr. Burns.

4 Grandma Simpson - Chaotic Good

Mona Simpson might have been the same alignment as Abe when they got married, but the social turbulence of the 1960s made her change her mind. She had to run afoul of the law to find justice, a typical act for someone with a Chaotic Good alignment.

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We assume that she ran off with a bunch of political radicals, and even though we don't know what she did, it was bad enough that she would still be on the run decades later. It must have been a tough decision, one her Lawful Good grandaughter Lisa might have to make someday.

3 Selma Bouvier - Chaotic Evil

Patty made a choice, but Selma can't seem to have a life away from her sister without disaster striking. We feel bad for Selma because she seems to get pushed around a lot, but don't let that passive-aggression fool you. She still ends up gleefully helping her sister in her schemes against Homer, her hopelessly clumsy and mostly defenseless brother-in-law.

There does seem to be some give and take here, as most of their more shocking escapades were Selma's ideas, which is why she gets the Chaotic title. That includes crazy stuff like public nudity during the "Do As You Feel" festival to more sordid escapades, like taking advantage of a TV repairman. Selma is compulsive, like her nephew Bart, but doesn't seem to experience any guilt or remorse, typical of a Chaotic Evil character.

2 Patty Bouvier - Neutral Evil

You can't help but think that Patty Bouvier has a mean streak. It's not just the way she talks to her sisters, slags her brother-in-law in front of his kids, or manipulates him with insults. It's the way she clings to nearby family members. Imagine how she talks to Selma when nobody is looking. They're actually fraternal twins, which is easier to see when they have different haircuts.

We got to know Patty's more human side in the early episode where she has a brief friendship with Seymour Skinner. She leaves him, her reason being that she can't eave her sister Selma alone, but since Patty has come out as a lesbian in recent years her reasons might have been more self-serving.

1 Jackie Bouvier - Lawful Neutral

We don't know much about Marge's mother, Jacqueline Ingrid Bouvier, but as the mother of three powerful women, we can assume she's a force to be reckoned with.  It's easy to see that she despises her son-in-law, Homer, but still offers to drive him to the hospital when her first grandchild is born. Between the other more senior members of the Simpsons family, she's the more reasonable and less conservative, at least in public.

Among her family, especially her daughters, she tends to be more strict. She adheres strictly to old traditions, declaring that good girls pinch their cheeks, but "fancy ladies" use rouge. She accepts a social code that's bigger than her while making her own rules at the same time, a classic trait of the Lawful Neutral alignment. She shares this alignment with Abe Simpson, and they seem to get along pretty well.

NEXT: The Simpsons: 10 Best Episodes (That Nobody Watched)

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