Pam Beesley may have gotten her happily ever after at the end of The Office but she hasn’t always had it easy. Pam was in a bland relationship for almost 10 years, was unknowingly in love with her best friend, and wasn’t always respected at work. To make matters worse, Pam was stuck in her life. She didn't have the motivation to make a change.
Pam was bogged in a position she hated and she was stuck in a life she wasn't passionate about. Pam deserved better and it took far too long for her to get what was earned.
She Was In A Loveless Relationship For Far Too Long
After meeting in high school, Pam and Roy (at one point) had been together for eight years. They later became engaged and stayed engaged for three years before finally ending their relationship before the big day. But after the single life took its toll on Pam, she got back together with Roy but it didn't last long.
It became clear to Pam that she and Roy were no longer the same people they were when they first got together. She and her BFF Jim had more passion than she did with the man she lived with, and that could have been upsetting to admit for her.
Her Dream Of Being An Artist Died
Pam has always been honest about her love of art. Whether it was doodling at her desk or painting at home, Pam was an artist deep down. In "Boys and Girls," Pam cried at the thought of never being able to pursue art in a professional way or have the dream life she envisioned.
Roy turned down Pam's idea of joining Dunder Mifflin's graphic design program, which was hard to see on camera. Pam needed a little nudge in the right direction—which is what Jim gave her—but Pam was too scared to make the move. When she finally pulled the trigger years later and attended art school, her dreams were once again dashed when she couldn't pass her courses.
She Has A History Of Quitting Things
While Pam's choice to quit things were all on her own, she only did it because of her lack of confidence and support. And while she changed for the better by season nine, she still had a habit of quitting.
She quit art school, she ended a relationship that was almost a decade long, she quit her job to join the Michael Scott Paper Company, she then quit that job as a saleswoman to create a different position within Dunder Mifflin, and the list goes on. Why was Pam so afraid of succeeding and who made her think she couldn't have it all? It's sad to think about.
Her Husband Never Consulted Her With Major Life Decisions
Jim and Pam were best friends for years before initiating any kind of romantic relationship. The two were so in-sync that they liked and disliked the same kinds of things.
As time went on in their relationship, however, Jim began doing things that he thought were best for the relationship without consulting Pam. He bought his parents' house without telling her and he took a new job without telling her. Meanwhile, Pam is left playing catchup with no real say in her life.
She Was A Part Of Her Parents' Divorce
Not much is known about Pam's parents. In the beginning, Pam told the cameras that she and her mom were very close but that relationship seemed different by the time she got married. Once Jim and Pam became serious, Pam found out that her parents were getting a divorce.
The decision hit Pam hard and she couldn't help but think about her own relationship. To soothe the tensions, Pam and Jim got in the middle of their argument, which only seemed to backfire because her dad wanted what they had. Seeing her parents deteriorate and go on to date other people was incredibly hard for her.
She Had To Parent Alone While Jim Was Away
When Jim began working at the start-up in Philly, he and Darryl began renting an apartment in Philly for those long work nights. Due to the distance between Scranton and Philadelphia, Jim was away more than he was home.
This left Pam alone with the two kids or needing to find a babysitter. The distance put a huge rift in their marriage and made Pam resentful of her husband.
No One At Work Took Her Seriously
As smart and sweet as Pam was at Dunder Mifflin, her co-workers didn't take her seriously. She was the office's receptionist for years and was treated less than worthy by colleagues like Angela, Ryan, and Dwight.
When she eventually became a saleswoman, she expected more respect from her colleagues but the opposite happened. As it turned out, Pam wasn't the best saleswoman, which only made her second-guess herself more.
She Was “Dorky”
Things got weird at Dunder Mifflin when Danny Cordray was hired as Scranton's traveling salesman. It came out that Pam and Danny went on a few dates before she and Jim got together but they broke up unexpectedly when Danny never called Pam for a third date.
After an entire day of pleading with Danny for the reason at the office Halloween party, Pam found out that Danny never called her back for a date because he thought she was too dorky.
Her Mother Was Incredibly Cold To Pam’s Feelings
As aforementioned, something changed in Pam's mom after her divorce. She treated Pam so plainly on her wedding day and acted like Pam's feelings didn't matter when she began dating Michael. It seems to be an ongoing trend in Pam's life for people to walk all over her.
How her mother acted at her wedding was completely different from how she acted in the earlier seasons when she visited Pam at work. What changed?
She Watched Her Best Friend Move On With Someone Else
It was heartbreaking for Pam to find out that Jim was dating Karen. After months of being apart and a broken engagement (on her end), Pam and Jim were finally going to be single at the same time when Scranton absorbed the Stamford branch. Sadly, that wasn't the case.
Pam found out that Jim was dating his gorgeous co-worker, Karen. Pam had to sit idly by as Jim and Karen's relationship grew stronger. And while Jim did the same thing when Pam was dating Roy, that doesn't make it any less hurtful.