Michael and Pam are one of the most widely-revered friendships in The Office--but what exactly is the quality of this friendship?
Michael and Pam's relationship to each other grows and changes throughout the long series--sometimes reinforcing their bond, sometimes making us doubt there ever was much of one. Upon taking a second glance, are they the friends we like to remember them as?
Not Friends: She's The Office Mother
There's an argument amongst fans that Pam is unfairly made into the office 'mother'. Some take issue with the fact that Pam's sole value is in her filling a stereotypical female role as if she has no value beyond that.
This is debatable, but there's something to be said for the fact that Michale values Pam most when he needs her calm manner and logical perspective, treating her like some fill-in mother figure rather than an equal person.
Friends: Michael Attends Her Show
Michael is the only one who goes to Pam's gallery showing. She tells the entire office about it and invites them all to come, and nobody shows up except for him.
When he gets there, he actually takes an interest in her art, too, making genuine comments and admiring her work as a proud friend would.
Not Friends: He Fake Fires Her
It may be early in the show, the first episode, actually--so perhaps a little harsh to judge characters from a point this early on. One of Michael's most memorable moments with Pam is when he pretends to fire her in order to impress Ryan, who has just begun as a temp at the office.
Pam bursts into tears, believing Michael to be firing her in earnest--and he never apologizes.
Friends: He Tries To Hang Out
Michael is constantly trying to get Pam and Jim to hang out with him. He wants everyone in the office to like him, this is no secret, but Michael particularly looks to Pam and Jim as people he cares about and wants in his life.
He regularly asks them to have dinner with him or meet up after work in some respect, trying to take their relationship to a more personal level.
Not Friends: He Talks Down To Her
It's mostly in earlier seasons, but all the same, Michael has a habit of talking down to Pam. She is conveniently--inconveniently, for her--seated at the spot in the office where the most traffic of people comes through.
This gives Michael the perfect opportunity to use her to bounce jokes off of in order to impress people coming in. This results in Pam being disrespected quite a lot.
Friends: He Values Her Advice
When Michael really needs help, it's Pam he goes to for advice. Sure it may seem like he takes her for granted or doesn't take her seriously as we talked about in the last entry.
But when things get serious Michael knows that Pam is a reliable person to go to, and he reciprocates by listening to her as not only an equal but someone he considers wiser than him.
Not Friends: He Sexualizes Her
Not only is Pam frequently the butt of many of Michael's jokes, but she is also frequently sexualized by him. Now Michael's character goes through a lot of changes in the series, maturing as every season passes.
We learn that much of his obnoxious behavior is not personal but rather a defense mechanism. The fact remains that at some point in time he thinks it makes him look cool to casually comment on Pam's appearance.
Friends: She Takes Care Of Him
Pam is a gentle person, but she's also tough. If she truly didn't care about Michael she wouldn't so frequently come to his aid. When push comes to shove, Pam shows up for Michael--and often, push doesn't even need to come to shove.
It becomes natural for her to look out for him because she's often the person who sees the truth of how vulnerable he is.
Not Friends: He Doesn't Let Her Compete
When Michael announces to the office that they are going on a day trip, everyone gets excited, including Pam--until he tells her that she has to take notes the entire day while nobody else works.
On top of this, the trip turns out to be a ploy to get everyone involved in a competition for who would be the next best manager of the office. Pam wants to compete, but Michael makes her sit on the sidelines.
Friends: They Have To Say Goodbye
The day comes when Michael is finally leaving the office for good, but he can't find Pam. He stresses all day about when she will be back, and finally, he has to leave. Michael isn't the only one upset by not being able to say goodbye to Pam.
Pam realizes she has missed him, and she rushes to the airport to try and catch him before he leaves with Holly. The two embrace tearfully, creating one of the saddest and most touching moments of the entire series.