The Good Place: 10 Hilarious Michael Quotes

The Good Place is the kind of sitcom that is built on big ideas. It's not just another show about workplace fiends or a middle-class family. The series has taken on difficult questions about morality, choice, the afterlife, and the meaning of existence.

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Of course, those big ideas wouldn't be quite as palatable without the amazing cast, which includes Ted Danson as Michael, an overzealous demon who begins the series as someone who wants to construct the perfect method of torture for four humans but eventually becomes a being who wants to be benevolent and good. Along with that change has come some truly memorable quotes about everything from suspenders to Beyoncé.

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10 "Check it out. Suspenders! So dumb. So much dumber than belts."

Michael may be an immortal being who dwells far above the reaches of human understanding, but even he can make a cogent observation about the best way to hold up one's pants.

What makes this moment great is how much joy he takes in realizing just how stupid suspenders are. To be fair, Michael has a point, and just because he turned out to be evil doesn't make it any less true.

9 "There's something so human about taking something great,"

"and ruining it a little so you can have more of it."

When Eleanor arrives in the Good Place, she's surprised to find that almost every shop is selling frozen yogurt. Michael claims it is because he thinks frozen yogurt is really great, although this quote almost seems to give away the entire game early on in the series.

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The only reason Michael wanted to have frozen yogurt in his "Good Place" was that it would never be as good as ice cream. It's really a pretty dastardly plan when you think about it.

8 "Parties are mere distractions from the relentlessness of entropy."

"We're all just corpses who haven't yet begun to decay."

In the second season of The Good Place, the humans have figured out that they are actually in the bad place. In an attempt to get into the real Good Place, and to take Michael with them, Chidi attempts to teach Michael philosophy, just as he had done with the other humans.

However, Michael is not interested in any of it. That is until Chidi makes him contemplate the end of his existence. Thinking about the universe without him in it sends Michael into an existential spiral, where he remarks on the true nature of parties.

7 "Kissing is gross. You just mash your food holes together."

"It's not for that."

Though he appears to be a normal human, Michael is, in fact, a being beyond human understanding. He may have a human body, but that doesn't mean that human anatomy and rituals are no less gross to him.

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When it comes to kissing, Michael just can't handle it. Obviously, he would think that humans doing anything other than eating with their mouths is entirely nonsensical.

6 "Fair is the stupidest word humans ever invented, except for 'staycation.'"

One of the greatest strengths of The Good Place is how the writers are able to comment on all the irritating things that people do through the lens of non-human beings. Michael and the other denizens of the Bad Place are walking, talking representations of all the worst parts of humanity, down to the smallest annoyances.

That means that they are aware of all the worst aspects of humankind, including all the dumb words that people have come up with. This line is great because it's not just a dig at the expectation of fairness in an unfair world, but also the annoying tendency to combine two words into one.

5 "I saw this place that was at once a Pizza Hut and a Taco Bell!"

"I mean, oh! The mind reels! A Pizza Hut and a Taco Bell!"

Once Michael begins to come around and see his human companions as friends, his personality undergoes a massive shift. He no longer views humans or life on Earth as being pointless and stupid. To him, there is wonder everywhere.

That includes the brief (or seemingly brief) moment he spends exploring everything on Earth while the gang is gathered in IHOP (the Interdimensional Hole of Pancakes). One of the things that fills him with joy and wonder is nothing more than a combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

4 "Chidi opted to run over five William Shakespeares instead of one Santa Claus."

"The Trolley Problem" is probably one of the best episodes of The Good Place so far. During a lesson about morality and choice, Chidi presents the group with the classic trolley problem: is it better to let five people die, or choose to save them, but kill one person in the process?

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This problem proves to be too boring for Michael, who makes it all too real for the group. He continually presents Chidid with more and more ludicrous variations on the problem before Eleanor realizes that Michael has gone back to torturing them.

3 "Any place or thing in the universe can be up to 104% perfect."

"That's how you got Beyoncé."

Come on, did nay ever even doubt that Beyoncé was somehow more than perfect? This is yet another moment where Michael reveals a truth about life on Earth that only he knew about.

It's another strength of The Good Place that it can use these otherworldly rules and facts to define things on Earth. Of course, Gina from Brooklyn Nine-Nine would completely agree with this sentiment.

2 "Now we're going to do the most human thing of all:"

"attempt something futile with a ton of unearned confidence and fail spectacularly!

Once Michael gives up on trying to torture the humans and decides to work with them, giving up his demonic ways, he starts to see the beauty in being human, enough that he finally realizes that there really is more to being human than he ever knew.

Michael might know far more than Eleanor, Chidi, Tahani, and Jason, but he is just as determined as they are to find the Judge and have her decide their fate, even if he knows that chances are beyond slim.

1 "Oh, man! I can't believe you figured it out."

It might not be one of the funniest lines that Michael has ever delivered, but it might just be the most important one. It comes in the final episode of the first season of The Good Place, when Eleanor finally figures out the truth and reveals the huge twist of the series: the "Good Place" is actually the Bad Place.

There's just something so great about how Ted Danson delivers this line, especially when coupled with his evil laugh. It was a side of Michael we had never seen, and the reveal was absolutely brilliant.

NEXT: The Good Place: 10 Things We Need To See In Season 4

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