Horror is, rather famously, a highly subjective genre of film. Something that is unbearably scary to one person could be ineffective or downright silly to another. However, there seems to be a special selection of horror movies that completely fail at what they are trying to do.
A bad horror film can be as fun to watch as a good one, albeit for entirely different reasons. That being said, some have a lot of good ideas that could justify an improved remake, but a lot of them are simply too precious to risk the chance of being remade into something far less entertaining.
Reboot: Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994)
While Mary Shelley's Frankenstein has a lot going for it, including the production design as well as Robert De Niro's performance as The Monster, it ultimately falls flat in delivering a faithful adaptation of the classic tale. The idea of an accurate adaptation is sound, but Kenneth Branagh's film does nothing to examine the themes of the novel, as it gets lost in the movie's excess.
The point of the novel is that it's an examination of science versus nature and mankind playing God. These themes are as relevant now as they were in the early 1800s and it's only a matter of time before someone accomplishes capturing the themes of the book alongside its narrative.
Leave Alone: The Leprechaun Franchise (1993-2018)
Describing any of the Leprechaun movies as "good" is generous. They are all schlock at their core, but a lot of them have an odd charm which mostly lies at the feet of actor Warwick Davis. There was an attempt at a reboot by WWE Studios, but that movie is best left alone.
Leprechaun is a series of movies that know precisely what they are... cheesy low-budget horror. They know they're silly movies and embrace that fact, with their fans embracing it as well. Putting it simply, the idea of trying to take a stereotypical Irish leprechaun slaughtering people seriously is completely ludicrous.
Reboot: Book Of Shadows: Blair Witch II (2000)
No movie has fallen so short of its goal to the same scale of Book of Shadows: Blair Witch II. A sequel to The Blair Witch Project, Book of Shadows went in a different direction, but while it had a noble ambition, Book of Shadows' borderline incoherent story is so mind-bogglingly unorganized that any hope of scares are dashed.
What makes this sting all the more is that the idea of examining the media blitz surrounding the first film is a great idea, it's just that the movie fails at sticking the landing. Should a filmmaker want to delve into the Blair Witch universe, albeit without using the found footage format, it would more than likely prove more fruitful than Book of Shadows.
Leave Alone: Jason X (2001)
Jason X, the tenth film in the Friday The 13th franchise, is the official point where the series jumped the shark. After years of semi-grounded slasher films, Jason X sees Pamela Voorhees' son jettisoned into space, ending up being re-awakened in the year 2453.
The film has its merits, with a fun tongue-in-cheek tone, some of the most unique kills of the series, and a solid performance from Kane Hodder as Jason, but the film can't escape its absurd premise and lack of budget. Jason, Pinhead, and The Leprechaun have each had space adventures, with all being middling affairs, so a reboot of Jason X would be a misstep.
Reboot: Chopping Mall (1986)
Chopping Mall is the best kind of bad horror movie, a movie with an absurd premise that's just a load of fun at the end of the day. The film sees Dalek-esque robots installed as the security force of a mall, but a rogue lightning strike causes them to malfunction and murder the mall's employees.
The movie isn't much more ambitious than a typical slasher flick, but the inclusion of the robots gives it a unique charm. Still, a remake of Chopping Mall wouldn't be a bad idea, especially if it examines how malls are struggling to stay alive in a post-Amazon world.
Leave Alone: Santa's Slay (2005)
The idea of a slasher Santa Claus had been done prior, most notably in Silent Night, Deadly Night, but the idea of the actual Saint Nick being a murderous psychopath was pretty rare when Santa's Slay was released in 2005. Seeing Santa (played by WCW legend Goldberg) spear, slice, and stab his way through a small town is both jarring and amusing.
It feels harsh to call Santa's Slay a bad movie, as there is a degree of heart and passion behind it, but it isn't really an objectively good one either. That said, if someone is looking for a fun anti-Christmas movie to watch around the holidays, they could do far worse than Santa's Slay, so a remake isn't needed.
Reboot: Alien Vs. Predator (2004)
The buildup to the original Alien Vs. Predator movie was intense. Sadly, the movie ended up being a letdown, with Paul W.S. Anderson's style not suiting the titular creatures. Not only was the decision to set the movie on modern-day Earth baffling, but the trio of Predators also weren't as seasoned as they should've been and the characters were impossible to care about.
What makes this all the more frustrating is that the concept had proven successful in the Dark Horse comic series, so it's weird that the movie didn't take more cues from the comics. With both franchises in the hands of Disney now, time will tell if a better version of AVP is in the cards.
Leave Alone: The Happening (2008)
M. Night Shyamalan has unfortunately (and often unfairly) become a bit of a punching bag these days, but while he's had his moments, movies like The Happening don't really help his reputation. A film about a strange toxin that causes mass suicides, The Happening has too many unintentionally laughable moments to count, bolstered by a confused performance by Mark Wahlberg.
The film is either one of the worst movies of all time or a "so bad it's good" classic depending on who is asked, which is why the possibility of a remake isn't a welcome one. As odd as it sounds, the movie is just too meme-able for someone to try to make it make sense.
Reboot: Silent Hill (2006)
Silent Hill should be the type of source material that is a blank check for a talented filmmaker, whether they're adapting one of the games or telling an original story. Though director Christophe Gans is certainly talented, Brotherhood of The Wolf is a testament to that fact, his adaptation of the first Silent Hill game failed in achieving the PlayStation 1 classic's scares.
The story of a parent entering the cursed town of Silent Hill to save their daughter, the movie's main failure is that it gives too much away about the town's origins, which really shouldn't be explained at all. What makes the games so scary isn't the town itself, but instead the trauma of the people it preys upon, something that a potential Silent Hill reboot needs to get right.
Leave Alone: Jacob's Ladder (2019)
The remake of Jacob's Ladder should not be remade, because the original movie shouldn't have been remade either. The story of Jacob Singer's journey of grief and past trauma nailed it on the first try, making the remake completely unnecessary.
Dull, void of scares, and missing the deep themes of the original movie, the remake of Jacob's Ladder pales in comparison to the original in nearly every sense. It should serve as a warning, if a movie nailed it the first time, leave it alone.