After Seth MacFarlane’s debut feature Ted became a huge hit — especially for an R-rated comedy, it was a no-brainer for Universal to greenlight a sequel. According to CinemaBlend, the original script for the Ted sequel – which revolved around Ted and John driving a shipment of weed across the country – had to be scrapped when the similarly plotted We’re the Millers became a box office hit in 2013.
While Ted 2 wasn’t the monster success that its predecessor was, it was still a welcome return to the talking teddy bear with plenty of laugh-out-loud moments.
“I Think I Wanna Sleep On A Bed Made Of Your Voice.” - Ted
One of the many high-profile celebrity cameos in Ted 2 is Morgan Freeman as the civil rights lawyer who could provide Ted’s best chance of proving his human status and having his marriage reinstated.
From The Shawshank Redemption to March of the Penguins, Freeman is often hired to do voiceover narration because he has a rich, engaging voice. Ted sums up how all moviegoers feel about Freeman’s captivating voice in this line from Ted 2.
“It’s This New Strain My Dealer Gave Me Called ‘Help Me Get Home.’” - Sam
The Ted sequel follows up on the first movie’s gag about pot strains with paranoia-inducing names like “Gorilla Panic” and “They’re Coming, They’re Coming.” This time around, they sound even more paranoid, with names like “How Long Has That Van Been There?” and “Help Me Get Home.”
The “Help Me Get Home” one is paid off when John actually needs Ted and Sam’s help getting home. He clutches to the side of every building on the way back to his apartment.
“A Perfect Spiral!” - John
The inciting incident of Ted 2 is Ted and Tami-Lynn deciding to have a baby. Before trying to adopt, they seek out a sperm donor. Naturally, the first donor they enquire about is NFL legend Tom Brady.
When Brady throws Ted out of his house, Ted soars through the air like a football shooting across a field. An awestruck John comments on the “perfect spiral” of Brady’s throw – even though the thing he’s throwing is his best friend.
“You People Are Monsters!” - Improv Comic
When they’re feeling down, Ted and John go to an improv comedy show with the sole purpose of bringing down the mood by shouting out wildly inappropriate suggestions.
The comics try to play them off and move on by saying, “Okay, I heard Starbucks,” but John quickly shouts out, “Nobody said Starbucks!” Eventually, one of the comics snaps and calls out the “monsters” causing trouble in the crowd.
“His Name’s F*** Scott Fitzgerald?!” - Ted
Ted and John criticize Sam for not understanding their pop culture references, but she says that her cultural frame of reference is just more sophisticated than theirs. They ask for an example and she tells them she appreciates the works of Great Gatsby author F. Scott Fitzgerald.
A baffled John asks, “Why are you saying f*** him?” Ted adds, “You just said F. Scott Fitzgerald. I mean, what did Scott Fitzgerald do to you?” Sam tries to clarify that that’s just his name, but that just confuses Ted even more as he thinks the author’s name is “F*** Scott Fitzgerald.”
“Sorry You Have To Deal With That.” - Star Wars Fan
When Ted, John, and Sam arrive in New York, they see a group of Star Wars fans dressed as Obi-Wan, Darth Vader, and a Stormtrooper crossing the street. Ted and John get into a heated argument with the cosplayers before Sam tells them, “Bite me, Captain Kirk!”
When Sam reveals that she doesn’t know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, the cosplayers empathize with Ted and John for having to “deal with that.”
“As An Actor, You Rely On Subtle Facial Changes And Cues From Your Co-Stars. You Don’t Get That With A Car.” - David Hasselhoff
The first two acts of Ted 2 are filled to the brim with celebrity cameos, but the third act takes those cameos to another level as Ted goes to New York Comic-Con.
He wanders into a Knight Rider panel where a fan asks David Hasselhoff about the challenges of acting opposite a car. Hasselhoff explains that an actor’s work relies on the subtle cues passed on by their co-stars, providing the kind of nuance that automobiles are incapable of.
“You Are Messing With Powers You Do Not Understand!” - John
When Ted is in court trying to prove he’s a human being and the jury doesn’t seem to be on his side, he tells John it might be “time to play the Beetlejuice card.” He means it’s time to say Betelgeuse’s name three times to make the freelance poltergeist played by Michael Keaton in Tim Burton’s movie appear in the courtroom.
John is vehemently against playing the Beetlejuice card: “Are you f****** crazy? We don’t want that guy running around in here!” When Ted tries to say his name three times, John furiously interrupts him and tells him to “cut the s***!”
“So, If I Purchase These Trix, There’ll Be No Trouble?” - Grocery Store Customer
Liam Neeson makes a cameo appearance in Ted 2 as a grocery store customer with the same grizzled edge and hard-boiled paranoia as his action movie antiheroes like Taken’s Bryan Mills. As he brings a box of Trix to Ted’s checkout, he treats buying cereal advertised for children with grave seriousness.
Since the slogan is, “Trix are for kids,” Neeson wonders if there will be any “trouble” when he, an adult, purchases them. He asks, “I won’t be followed?” and Ted assures him, “That’s not in our budget.” This gag is hilariously paid off in the post-credits scene as a beaten and bloodied Neeson returns the Trix to the grocery store.
“Hashtag S*** Happens!” - Ted
There’s a running joke throughout the movie involving Ted and John snapping pictures of each other at their worst moments – like John being covered in semen after a clumsy mishap at a sperm bank – and posting them on social media with ironic hashtags.
This joke is paid off in the final line of the movie when Ted tosses a full diaper at John, then takes a photo of him and gives it the hashtag “s*** happens.”