It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a violent, backstabbing, misogynistic alien in spandex and a cape!
Superman is widely regarded as the most powerful superhero in the DC Universe, probably having saved hundreds of thousands of lives across every comic, TV show, and movie that he’s been in. He’s prevented so many tragedies, stopped countless villains, and has acted as an American symbol for so long, that his true character is often forgotten… his true character being a massive jerk-bag.
Yes, it’s true, Superman is indeed a jerk-bag. Unfortunately, more often than not, the recipient of his awfulness is none other than his coworker, best friend, love interest and sometimes girlfriend/wife, Lois Lane. While she might be a little obsessive over Superman’s affection, a little naive about how the world works, and a little bit of a try-hard, she’s always remained hard working, persistent, and constantly tries to make the world a better place as an award-winning journalist at the Daily Planet.
You might think that Superman would never treat her poorly. He would never give her a reason to worry, be upset, or fear for her life, because he and Aquaman had her attacked by a giant octopus in order to teach her a lesson about not relying on Superman to constantly save her from peril… right?
Wrong. Here are the 15 Worst Things Superman Has Ever Done To Lois Lane.
15. Superman Prosecutes Lois Lane For Murder
Lana Lang is dead, Lois Lane is responsible, Batman is her lawyer, and Superman is the prosecuting attorney. It’s the most ridiculous two-part court-room drama that’s ever been conceived.
In Superman’s Girlfriend, Lois Lane #99 & 100, Lois Lane and Lana Lang are verbally and physically fighting over who deserves to marry Superman. Then Lois, who is driving with Lana in the passengers seat, accidentally drives off a bridge into a lake.
Lois escapes, but Lana drowns and Lois is charged with first-degree murder. Batman believes in her innocence, though, and Superman decides to the prosecutor. What follows is Superman presenting overwhelming evidence of Lois’ guilt, begging her to plead insanity, and relentlessly reminding Lois that she appears to be guilty and is going to receive the death penalty if she doesn’t cooperate.
Throughout the ordeal, everyone is constantly wondering why Superman is trying to have his girlfriend put on death row, and while the story is eventually resolved and the case is dismissed, Superman’s true intentions are never revealed other than his need to “do stuff by the book.”
Way to look after those you love, Superman. Good work.
14. Caveman Superman Drags Lois By Her Hair
“You be my woman! You cook for me, in my cave!” Superman says as he drags her by her hair from her place of employment. Does anymore need to be said?
The gist is this: in World’s Finest #151, Superman and Batman discover a Kryptonian evolutionary ray with the power to accelerate the evolution of a human being. Batman, being Batman, decides to blindly use it on himself and manages to accelerate himself 800,000 years into the future– giving himself a massive head and significantly more intelligence in the process.
Apparently, he becomes an evil-genius, so when Batman uses the ray on Superman, he decelerates Superman’s evolution until Superman becomes a caveman. Cave Superman then goes on a wild and crazy adventure around Metropolis nearly killing hundreds of people and trying to turn everything into a “cave.” Then, in the grand finale of his caveman behavior, he grabs Lois by the hair and demands that she cook for him.
Isn’t it comforting to know that the world’s greatest superhero, when reduced to just his primal instincts, is just a raving maniac with abusive intentions?