Time has been a strange mistress to the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy. Countless think pieces about how the films are not nearly as bad as people remember have been written about them and with good reason. An entire generation of fans grew up watching them and considering them their Star Wars and that generation certainly views them through a lens of nostalgia, just like so many older fans do with the original trilogy. While no matter how you feel about the prequels there are a couple of deniable factors regarding them. There are some pretty great elements (Darth Maul, “Duel of the Fates,” the Anakin and Obi-Wan duel) and some impossible to ignore missteps (Jar Jar Binks, “I don’t like sand,” etc.).
But some of the most glaring issues of The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith are not due to their wooden dialogue, poorly-aged CGI, or bizarre editing choices. A lot of what didn’t work in the films were massive logical mistakes they made. These mistakes are often contradictions or plot holes in relation to the original films or moments that sully the way we see certain characters in hindsight. Once you start digging into the logical fallacies filling the prequel films, no amount of the Expanded Universe explaining them can scrub the knowledge that they existed in the first place. After all, the material produced outside the Star Wars films is often designed to fill in the cracks between episodes and within them. But those cracks are still there whether we want to acknowledge them or not.
CLONING JANGO FETT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA
Looking cool and meeting an unceremonious end is practically a Fett Family tradition in Star Wars films. Fans have poured hours into debating the merits of Boba and his ridiculous demise in the first act of Return of the Jedi, often referring to the Expanded Universe in defense for loving the character.
Boba’s “father,” Jango is less defended in the prequel film, Attack of the Clones, and with good reason. Having Jango be the man who the entire clone army is spawned from never made sense. The guy doesn’t seem to be that great of a bounty hunter (he hired an assassin to take out Padme), and he couldn’t fight off a single Jedi. Surely the Republic could have found a better candidate.
PALPATINE'S PLAN IN EPISODE III
There is an argument to be had over the actually quality of the Prequel Trilogy (and boy are there a lot of those still happening among friends and in the darker corners of Reddit), but some of the plot threads involving the Republic and the Separatists are indecipherable. One more notable offender is Sheev Palpatine’s plot at the beginning of Revenge of the Sith.
Look, we get it, the Clone Wars animated series helped fill in the gap between Episodes II and III, but for the general movie-going audience, the begging of Episode III is baffling. If the point was to lure Anakin to prove his worth in the eyes of Palpatine by executing Dooku, surely there’s a better way to orchestrate it all.
FORCE LIGHTNING IS BAD FOR YOUR SKIN... APPARENTLY
The manner in which the Jedi and the Sith manifest certain powers through the Force seems to be on a sliding scale. Most of it can be chalked up to the power-wielder’s connection to the Light Side or the Dark. Luke can only lift rocks because he hasn’t made a deeper connection, while Yoda is tossing around space ships because he’s dug into the Force like a tick.
But how the powers affect others is a bit inconsistent. We first saw Force Lightning in Return of the Jedi, when Palpatine zaps the stuffing out of both Luke and Vader… but neither turned into ghostly Shar-Peis. So why did Sheev’s own lightning turn him into the disfigured Emperor. Is getting zapped by your own supply more detrimental?
JEDI WHO?
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away people had really short memories. During the events of Revenge of the Sith, the Jedi were at the top of their game. The Clone Wars were raging and from what we could tell, the Republic was winning and it was all thanks to the leadership of the Jedi Order.
Nineteen years after the fall of the Jedi and the rise of the Empire, everyone seems to have forgotten they ever existed. If they were so big less than two decades prior, why didn’t anyone freak out when Obi-Wan sparked his lightsaber in the Mos Eisley Cantina? Maybe the Prequel Trilogy was just embellishing their galactic importance, or the Empire is amazing at scrubbing history.
ONE SITH TO RULE THEM ALL
As much as we love Sheev Palpatine (and Ian McDiarmid’s amazing screen-chewing portrayal of him), there are a lot of inconsistencies in the character… much like the entire Star Wars Franchise. The level of power and overall villainy the character exudes might be the less consistent facets of the Palpatine.
There are times he seems like a frail old man who could be knocked over by a strong breeze, but someone he was strong enough to rise in power unnoticed by hundreds (maybe thousands?) of Jedi who are known for sensing disturbances in the Force. Okay, so Palpatine is strong. He’s consolidated the power of the Sith, but c’mon. We find it hard to believe that no one – not a single Jedi – sensed it.
WHOSE STORY IS THIS ANYWAY?
So quick, without dwelling on it, tell us: who is the main character in the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy? What is the first name to come to mind? Was it Anakin? Obi-Wan? Padme? It’s hard to pin down who the protagonist is in those films, especially The Phantom Menace.
This issue is the root problem under why large chunks of the films don’t work. Events just happen without moving the characters along in a believable manner. Other than the overarching narrative behind the fall of the Republic, which character is forced to change? Sure Anakin turns to the Dark Side, but is this his story? If so, why is Qui-Gon Jinn important? Or Obi-Won? Are they the antagonists or is Palpatine?
ACCELERATED JEDI PROGRAM
In the Prequels, it’s established that Jedi training starts at a very young age. The Jedi Council even makes a comment about Anakin being too old to begin training (keep in mind, the kid is like nine years old). So theoretically it takes decades to reach the rank of Jedi Knight. When we first meet Obi-Wan, he’s still a Padawan even though he seems to be an adult man.
But of course in later episodes (chronologically speaking, of course) it seems like anyone can handle a lightsaber with some proficiency and start lifting rocks in a matter of days. Maybe the lack of Jedi makes it easier for newbies to tap into the Force. Or maybe it’s just inconsistent writing. We’re thinking it’s the latter.
HIDE LUKE IN THE MOST OBVIOUS PLACE IMAGINABLE
In A New Hope, there is nothing terribly odd about Luke being from the desert planet Tatooine. The entire notion of a farm boy from an unremarkable world is able to rise above his station in life to become one of the greatest heroes in the galaxy is wonderful and inspiring. But after learning what we know now from the prequels, Luke’s humble beginnings are pretty bone-headed.
After the fall of the Republic, Luke was sent into hiding so his father wouldn’t find him. And just where was Luke hidden? Oh, just the exact same home planet as Darth Vader, the most notorious man in the galaxy. If Vader were to find out Luke survived, wouldn’t that be the first place he’d go?
R2-D2: ROCKET DROID
There are moments in the Prequel Trilogy that defy any reasonable explanation. Characters do things that seem out of touch with how they were portrayed in the original Star Wars Trilogy. Yoda breakdance fighting Count Dooku is one of those moments, but it was entertaining (and ridiculous) enough to be enjoyable in the moment.
However, R2-D2 revealing to fans that not only does he have lots unseen tools at his disposal inside that trashcan-shaped body of his, he also has rockets…which allow him to fly. Yes, that’s right, Artoo has wings (so to speak). How handy would have this been in the Empire Strikes Back when he was stuck in that swamp on Dagobah or on Jabba’s barge in Return of the Jedi?
TECHNOLOGY GOT WORSE
Look, we understand that wars cause a lot of destruction to infrastructure, and in that destruction important documents and progresses can be lost or destroyed, but the nineteen years between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope have been ridiculously harsh on technology.
By the time we get to A New Hope, things are dirtier, more simplistic and analogue. Instead of embracing the style created by the technological constraints of the real world of the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, George Lucas make everything shiny and new in the prequel films. Did the Empire just shoot the entire galaxy with dirt cannons and call it a day?
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
As if hiding him on his father’s home planet wasn’t dumb enough, for some unknown reason Obi-Wan or whoever was in charge of Luke’s safety, decided to give him his father’s surname, Skywalker. This is nuts for two big reasons. One, it implies that the Star Wars Universe shares common lineage practices of Western Culture. Okay, fine (even though it doesn't apply to Leia).
But what doesn’t make any sense is in the name of anonymity. The last name Skywalker doesn’t seem to be super common. If word got out that a boy with that last name is living on the same planet the guy who dusted a bunch of kids and turned to the Dark Side, it would turn some heads.
WAIT... WHO WAS OBI-WAN'S MASTER?
This one might be one of the biggest mistakes in George Lucas’ revisionism of Star Wars history. Ben Kenobi explicitly tells Luke that his master was Yoda, a powerful Jedi Master who young Skywalker was tasked to seek out. Before the prequel films, this notion checked out and was punctuated by the humor of Yoda’s diminutive stature.
Of course, when we first meet Obi-Wan in The Phantom Menace, Yoda is most certainly not his Master. Qui-Gon Jinn is. Some fans have explained this away with the idea that Yoda trains all young Padawans before being paired off with a proper instructor, but we aren’t buying that.
WE THOUGHT THE FORCE WAS MAGIC
Star Wars is a science fantasy franchise, and for decades it stuck to that very specific sub-genre. There was always a sense of mysticism in the films, novels and comics. The Force was something magical, that only space wizards with laser swords could wield, and fans were totally fine with that.
But for reasons we aren’t entirely sure of, George Lucas felt the need to quantify the Force by explaining it away with the microscopic living organisms known as Midi-chlorians, thus turning a fantastical idea into a creepy infection. Now the Force is basically a game of who has the highest credit score.
YODA'S AGING
When we first met Yoda in Empire Strikes Back, he told Luke he had trained Jedi for nearly 800 years. Now if we believe that all life in this galaxy measure time with the same increments as we do, Yoda’s claim is amazing and near unfathomable. It also makes sense that after 800 years of teaching petulant youths the ability to lift rocks and swing around a dangerous weapon, Yoda was ready to check out.
What’s odd though, if his youthful appearance in The Phantom Menace. The original theatric cut of the film featured Yoda as a puppet who looked like he was using an Instagram filter. Lucas probably changed it out to the CGI model after realizing thirty years is nothing to Yoda.
THE RULE OF TWO
In the history of the Star Wars Franchise, The Rule of Two dates back to Darth Bane who lived a thousand years before anyone knew who Luke Skywalker was. Of course, the books featuring Bane were written well after Return of the Jedi in which that rule was planned to be broken with Luke joining the fold.
The idea of the Rule of Two is actually first introduced in The Phantom Menace despite the fact that in subsequent films and related media there are plenty of Dark Side users who aren’t technically Sith, but might as well be. This makes the Rule of Two from the prequel films about a meaningful as a pair of matching BFF bracelets.
SHMI SKYWALKER'S FATE
The biggest tragedy in the prequel series befalls Anakin’s poor mother, Shmi Skywalker. After Qui-Gon Jinn gets Anakin out of slavery and into what is basically being a squire, they leave Shmi behind to…well, basically still be a slave on a desert planet.
Which begs the question, if the Jedi are so noble and righteous, why would they allow this to happen to the family of a boy who might the one who brings balance to the Force? It really takes the winds out of the sails of any sort of fantasy of being a Jedi. These guys are negligent jerks, and poor Shmi paid the price for a grave injustice.
HOW CAN LEIA REMEMBER HER MOTHER?
Most fans expected to see young Luke and Leia at some point on the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy. After all Leia had mentioned recalling her mother at a very young age. She told Luke she remembered she was very beautiful and sad, which, as it turns out both things were true, but we’re going to call shenanigans on the whole remembering thing.
Luke and Leia did eventually appear in the Revenge of the Sith…as infants. Their mother passes when they are hours old, so how any sort of bond could be forged is beyond us. This is a mistake that seems like it could have been easily fixed by not offing your strong female lead with sadness.
THE QUEEN WAS ELECTED
Despite being set in a world filled with space magic, well-armed dog people, and giant slugs who run organized crime syndicates, a lot of the vernacular used in Star Wars is our own. This is only natural for most fiction. We have to use the words we have to describe the world.
In fact, most of the galaxy is described in common terms as long as there is an analog in the real world, especially in politics. There is a senate, and they act very much like they would in the real world. And there is a queen, who certainly acts in a regal manner, but was elected by the public, which pretty defies the whole idea of how we get queens.
ANAKIN'S TURN TO THE DARK SIDE
Revenge of the Sith made good on the promise of giving audiences a chance to see the fall of Anakin Skywalker and the rise of Darth Vader play out on the sliver screen. It was a story that many hardcore Star Wars fans had been hoping to see in some capacity.
Unfortunately, Anakin’s journey didn’t stick the landing on an emotional level. Most Force sensitive people are seduced by the Dark Side, but the spiel Palpatine gives the young Jedi is less enticing and feels more really bad split-second decision. If Anakin was truly being pushed to the brink, he either had a weak constitution, or we just didn’t see it.
R2-D2 KNOWS EVERYTHING
There aren’t many characters who appear in all the Star Wars Episodes. In fact, there are only two, both of whom are droids. Now any character, flesh, circuitry, or otherwise who was privy to the event so the prequel films could have certainly altered the outcome of the original trilogy and maybe even prevented destruction… and sister kissing.
One of the character who has been there since the beginning has an excuse. C-3PO had his memory wiped at the end of Revenge of the Sith, but his stout counterpart, R2-D2 didn’t. Or if he did, it wasn’t mentioned in any of the films. This means, little Artoo could have told the guy who removed his restraing bolt some important info regarding his family.