For better or for worse, Star Wars has become an empire that is built on nonstop marketing. Disney's acquisition of the franchise has injected new life into these stories and ensured that we will have a constant stream of Star Wars movies until we are all long gone. And that constant stream of output means that Disney has to protect its image at all costs.
The problem with this is that the movies are giant productions filled with countless different actors and crew. No matter how much Disney wants to control the image of Star Wars, everyone from the actors and the fans are too busy having fun with it. And sometimes, you get images that are downright shocking.
Some of these images come from the other roles actors have taken, and they remind us of just how steamy and weird things could get outside of a galaxy far, far away. And some of the images are candid glimpses into the lives of actors, ranging from their mugshots to just who was grabbing what when the cameras weren't rolling.
You don't need to consult the Jedi archives to find these images. All you have to do is keep scrolling to check out 15 Photos Of Star Wars Actors That Would Get Them Kicked Out Of The Jedi Academy!
15 He did Want a Deathstick
Despite their low quality, the Star Wars prequels did manage to sneak in some funny moments from time to time. One of these moments occurred in Attack of the Clones, as Obi-Wan tried to lure a shape-shifting assassin out of the crowd at a bar. While he waited, an alien tries to sell him some cigarette-like “death sticks,” and Obi-Wan uses the Jedi mind trick to make the alien leave him alone.
However, this picture goes to show that, in his younger days, this Jedi had a wild side that included quite a few “death sticks.” This photo is from Ewan McGregor's Trainspotting, a dark comedy in which the young actor plays an addict. The entire film presents a side of McGregor that Star Wars fans rarely see, and it's worth it to see just how dark this future light-side user can get.
14 Now This is Jail Racing
To put it mildly, the Star Wars prequels got off on a bad foot with The Phantom Menace. Much of the blame was laid at the feet of CGI alien clown Jar-Jar Binks, but fans also hated Jake Lloyd as young Anakin Skywalker. It seemed tough to believe such an annoying kid could ever join the dark side. However, the actor ended up proving us wrong!
This photo comes from Jake Lloyd's run-in with the law back in 2015. The young man led police on a high speed chase on Interstate 95 in South Carolina. He is now being treated for schizophrenia, and we all hope he gets the treatment he needs, which is why we'll refrain from any “now this is podracing” jokes at his expense!
13 Princess Bunny
Carrie Fisher's Princess Leia is often held up (rightfully so) as a feminist icon. She is tough, take charge, and manages to utterly defy any of the “damsel in distress” stereotypes that the title “princess” might evoke. However, this picture shows a side of Carrie Fisher that isn't so powerful!
As you can see, she is wearing the iconic bunny ears and auditioning to be one of Hugh Hefner's Playboy bunnies. The picture is taken from Fisher's appearance on the Laverne and Shirley Show, which showcases her talents as a singer as well as her physical beauty. Even though the clip is nothing but a bit of good, clean fun, Fisher's costume is sure to be a big hit with the fans that never got over Fisher's appearance in the golden bikini!
12 Mark Hamill Strikes Back
Mark Hamill has been beloved by fans for decades. In addition to portraying everyone's favorite Jedi,Luke Skywalker, Hamill has managed to have a wonderful sense of humor about Star Wars and the part he played in it. One of the best examples of this humor is when he agreed to play a villain in the Kevin Smith movie Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
In this film, Hamill plays an actor who, in turn, is playing a supervillain. The villain wields a lightsaber-like weapon, and he goes by the vulgar name "****Knocker." If that's not wild enough, Hamill has lines such as “Don't **** with the Jedi Master, son!” With anyone else, this parody would have seemed crass and joyless, but Hamill brings it to hilarious life.
11 Awkward Anniversary
Kylo Ren ended up being at the center of many different memes. Some of these centered on how weird it must have been in the Solo family. What was it like being heroes of the Rebellion and raising a son who idolized Vader and the Empire? In this particular meme, we get a glimpse of how hilariously odd things might have gotten!
The meme plays on the idea of rebellious Kylo Ren (back in his Ben Solo days) sporting his love for Vader on the anniversary of Obi-Wan Kenobi's death. This meme also has a funny backstory, as it originated with Adam Driver sporting a shirt saying “Jim ****ing Moore!” on it. It took fans no time at all to Photoshop many different phrases on there, including “Darth ****ing Vader!”
This may go down as the last meme in history where Kylo Ren has his shirt on instead of off.
10 He's the Respectable One?
To Star Wars fans, Billy Dee Williams will always be Lando Calrissian, the shady friend of Han Solo who ends up having a heart of gold. However, Williams is also famous for something else entirely. And somehow, we have a feeling that the Jedi would not approve!
For years, Billy Dee Williams was the face of the beer Colt 45. In this classic advertisement, he is backed up by one of the slogans for the beverage: “it works every time.” Ironically, it seems to be the kind of statement that Lando Calrissian himself would support, implying that those who desire the charm to win a lady's heart need to have Colt 45 as a kind of ace up their sleeve.
We have to admit, “it works every time” is a bold statement that not even the Millennium Falcon lives up to!
9 Boldly Going
Sometimes, it feels like the oldest debate in science fiction is Star Trek vs. Star Wars. Real fans know that the two actually share a symbiotic relationship: Star Trek helped lay the groundwork for popular science fiction and even helped inspire George Lucas, while the popularity of Star Wars helped launch Trek to the big screen and to a small screen revival.
However, most fans don't see it that way, and to hardcore Star Wars aficionados, the real "dark side” is Star Trek fandom. This silly meme asks us to imagine what it would be like if Han Solo and Rey left a galaxy far, far away and boldly went into the Alpha Quadrant of Star Trek!
While we personally think they look good in those classic Trek colors, we understand if this means you'll stop serving our kind at your Tattooine bar.
8 Rey's Dark Side: Confirmed!
There is a lot of mystery surrounding the character of Rey. This ranges from who her parents are (a question that may or may not have been definitively answered) to whether she will succumb to the dark side. The latter is a concept that The Last Jedi trailers really played with, but the movie showed us Rey ultimately remaining pure. However, this image may throw some doubts on that!
What we see here is Rey (or should we say Rey's actress, Daisy Ridley) surrounded by First Order Stormtroopers. Rather than being terrified, though, she is smiling up a storm (so to speak) and posing with one of their blaster rifles. This is the kind of image that definitely gets you booted out of polite Jedi company, but we are all ready to rock some Stormtrooper Rey cosplay.
7 Ready for the (Train) Trials
Obi-Wan Kenobi ended up surprising all of us in Star Wars: A New Hope. While years of fairy tails and other movies conditioned us to expect a space wizard like Kenobi to defeat an evil knight like Darth Vader, he instead let himself get cut down. This was all part of his plan, as he became one with the Force and was able to help Luke and the Rebels in entirely new ways.
In this image, we see another version of Obi-Wan who is ready to die, but it's not the same. This is Ewan McGregor's character from Trainspotting, and the photo is pretty meta on every level. It seems to allude to the title of the movie itself, but the image may also refer to the British hobby of trainspotting as well as the act of shooting up (as McGregor's character does, which leaves “tracks” on the arm).
6 Fangirling Over Vader
A good meme makes us laugh. The best memes make us laugh by pointing out the absurd truth at the heart of something we love. In this case, we get a great meme that helps to highlight how cartoonishly weird Kylo Ren's fixation with Darth Vader really is.
The dialogue here imagines Rey teasing Ren about his “fangirling” over Darth Vader. Ren feigns not knowing what fangirling is while Rey clarifies that he is “obsessing over a mass murderer who nearly ruined the galaxy.” The punchline is Ren claiming that Vader is a “role model,” but there's a lot of truth to this meme. For Ren to really worship Vader like he does, he has to look past much of what Vader did so he can embrace a fake idea of who the man really was.
5 Sister Licker
The revelation in Return of the Jedi that Luke and Leia are brother and sister has always been weird. Not only does it seem out of left field (and not in line with early scripts for earlier movies), but it makes it really weird to go back and see the scenes where they flirt and kiss. In this photo, though, Mark Hamill takes that weirdness to a whole new level.
In the image, Carrie Fisher seems to be making a real effort to smile at the camera. Meanwhile, Mark Hamill is leaning in and pretending he's about to lick her ear. Meanwhile, Harrison Ford is looking away, either embarrassed or disgusted (or a bit of both). It's clear this photo was taken before the brother/sister reveal, but that doesn't make it any less weird to look at now.
4 The Dark Side's a Beach
Carrie Fisher in the Return of the Jedi golden bikini is nothing short of iconic. She captivated the hearts of millions of fans, and she has continued wearing that bikini in the dreams of fans for several decades. For those who can never get enough of this look, Rolling Stone created an out-of-this-world photo shoot back in the day.
The premise of the photoshoot is simple: what if Leia could sport that bikini at places like the beach instead of in the harsh deserts of Tattooine? Pretty much every photo is amazing, but this one captures the sheer, joyful absurdity of the photos: Leia snuggling an Ewok a little too close while being sweated by Vader and a Gamorrean.
Fisher is as beautiful as ever, but there's always a danger these other characters will pop into your dreams, too!
3 Dark Lord of the Goth
Looking back, Hayden Christensen had one of the worst jobs in all of Star Wars. He had to portray the adult Anakin Skywalker, which was already difficult enough. However, he also had to follow in the footsteps of the unpopular Jake Lloyd, and he had to find a way to transition from the whiny enthusiasm of the young Anakin to the brooding Sith that the character would become.
In this image, we see just how weird things could have gotten with Anakin Skywalker. Christensen is in full goth mode here, from his shock of dyed hair to his piercings and shaded eyes. The picture is from Life as a House, a movie that came out one year before Attack of the Clones. Unfortunately, it seems to be Christensen's lot in life to play angry and rebellious young men!
2 Padme's Gone Wild
Natalie Portman is another actor who was given very little to do in Star Wars. She is obviously very talented, and she has a string of powerful cinematic achievements. However, Star Wars often reduced her to everything that Leia was not: a damsel in distress, waiting for her knight to rescue her. In this image, we see just how wild it can get when Portman breaks free of this persona!
The image comes from Portman's appearance on Saturday Night Live's digital shorts. She is actually rapping about everything from her substance habits to how she often cheated on tests while at Harvard. The joke is that it's about Portman's need to know longer be seen as an innocent wallflower, but the irony is that Portman's character Padme never got a chance to break free and be her own person.
1 Chewbacca Makes His Move
The relationship between Han Solo and Chewbacca is a cornerstone of the Star Wars story. Han trusts the Wookie implicitly, and the movies make the bond that they share very clear. However, this photo shows that Chewbacca may have just been biding his time all these years and waiting to make his move!
It's an image that says it all, really. Chewbacca is howling in triumph while pawing at Leia, while she reacts with mock shock and horror. In reality, this is a great example of the weird fun that the cast often had in-between takes, but we can understand if this kind of image ends up getting deleted from the Jedi archives. Maybe now that Han's out of the picture, Chewie will have his shot...
Got an embarrassing Star Wars cast photo we missed? Share it in the comments!