Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is a series that lives up to its name. In characterization, in presentation, in the way fights play out, and the mish-mash of different styles and pop culture influences, it is truly "bizarre." Where it really shines though is in the different abilities each character has.

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Jojo is full of strange abilities that are surprisingly useful, and especially in more recent parts, Araki has really pushed stand abilities toward a more high concept area that defies reason. There have been many times where a stand ability doesn’t quite work as described and is pushed to work in ways they shouldn’t, logically speaking.

Honorary Mention: Wamuu

A close-up of Wamuu looking pleased in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Though he was introduced before stands were established, Wammu’s ability follows in Araki’s tradition of pushing the limits of a power beyond the logical. He is the second in command of the vampiric Pillar Men in Part 2, and is able to control wind. His signature fighting style is the Divine Sandstorm, in which he spins his forearms rapidly to create razor sharp tornados. In one instance, Wammu is somehow able to blow wind so hard and in such a way that it creates a "wind suit" around his body that refracts sunlight, protecting his vampiric weakness to the sun. This doesn’t make much sense as the movement of air shouldn’t be enough to completely block or reflect light waves.

Soft Machine 

Zucchero and Soft Machine in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Golden Wind is among the top favorite parts of Jojo, and there is an early encounter in the series that features Zucchero from Passione as the enemy stand user. His stand, Soft Machine, is able to deflate people and hide them in small places such as pipes or through small holes.

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What is never quite explained is how he was able to hide on their boat by deflating another identical boat and layering it on top of the original one, without anyone noticing. On top of that, how that allows him to hide in any way he couldn’t by just deflating himself on their boat escapes both manga readers and anime watchers alike.

Gold Experience

Giorno Giovanna in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Giorno Giovanna’s stand, Gold Experience, is described as having the ability to give life to objects. He uses it to spawn trees from stone or turn buttons into frogs, which makes enough sense on its own. Where this ability doesn’t make sense is how Giorno seems to be able to extend this to apply an effect onto already living creatures that causes them to experience things intensely and at slowed time. And, later when the Gang-Stars are facing off against Diavolo, Giorno with his newly evolved Gold Experience Requiem, finishes him off by placing him in an endless mental loop where he experiences dying over and over in different ways. There is no logical way in which this follows from being able to imbue things with life.

Metallica

Risotto Nero in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Risotto Nero is a tertiary antagonist who appears close to the end of the series and has an encounter with Doppio. His stand, Metallica, has the ability to control iron with magnetism, to the point where he can form razor blades in the body of his opponent with the iron in their blood. This is all fine and well, but he is also somehow able to use this ability to cloak himself, Predator style. It’s explained that he’s manipulating the iron in the air around him to refract light around him, similar to Wammu from Part 2. This makes a bit more sense than Wammu’s explanation but is still a bit of a stretch to imagine that there’s enough iron in the air to achieve this effect.

Jumpin’ Jack Flash

Lang Rangler smiling while attacking in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Prison inmate Lang Rangler is the penultimate encounter of the episodes of Part 6: Stone Ocean currently available on Netflix. Rangler’s stand, Jumpin’ Jack Flash, is able to take gravity away from people and objects by spitting on them. The logic falls apart as it’s explained that this lack of gravity causes a vacuum, which wouldn’t be the case as there’s still an atmosphere and air around. It doesn’t make sense how the lack of gravity would cause someone to involuntarily urinate, or have their blood vessels explode, as it does for Jumpin’ Jack Flash.

Weather Report

Weather Report in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Eyes of Heaven for PS4.

Weather Report’s ability is described to be able to control weather. At first he does simple things like make miniature clouds or blow wind or play the piano with rain droplets that carry objects in them in a quirky and hilarious Jojo-y way.

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As strange as that is, this is later extended to allow him to make space suits out of air to survive Jumpin Jack Flash’s anti gravity field and vacuum, and then to cause a rain of poisonous frogs that explode and instantly melt people’s flesh. If the manga is any indication, this is the least of what anime watchers will see from Weather Report that baffles them in Part 6.

King Crimson

King Crimson the stand in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Diavolo’s stand has a reputation for being difficult to understand. It even spawned the "it just works" meme in the community, which pokes fun at the logic struggles fans face when enjoying Jojo. Like many Jojo villains and many characters in anime, his power concerns time manipulation. King Crimson is described as being able to erase moments in time, however it seems to work very selectively, allowing certain events to happen and ignoring others with no reasonable explanation. For example, when he uses it to avoid getting punched by Bruno’s Sticky Fingers, he still looks as though he punched, but somehow never connected. It’s explained that Diavolo remains conscious and experiences what happens, while others do not, but that shouldn’t mean what should have happened doesn’t happen. Of course this is if real world logic is applied, which consistently is proved to be a fool’s errand when it comes to Jojo.

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