SpongeBob SquarePants is one of the most successful and beloved kid's shows of all time. Running strong since 1999, the world has followed the adventures of SpongeBob and his many sea-based buddies in their bizarre and hilarious adventures.
Part of SpongeBob's success is due largely in part to the superior writing; the happy go lucky humor, the superb storylines, and the lovable cast of characters have all kept kids and adults alike coming back to Bikini Bottom season after season.
Sure, adults can like SpongeBob SquarePants based on its innocent and uplifting nature, but the real reason why most adults keep stopping by the pineapple under the sea is for the excellent adult humor hidden under the guise of a children's show. Much like Pixar's movies, SpongeBob SquarePants keeps any adult entertained at the same level, if not more, than the kids it's intended for.
Wiener jokes, STDs, and every adult-theme under the sea joke lands right in the lap of any adult that sits down to a half hour of sponge and friends. Any readers who loved SpongeBob SquarePants as a kid, and continue to do so now, may have a whole new appreciation for the show once they actually start to understand some of the adult jokes hidden within that flew right over their heads when they were kids.
So, grab a Krabby Pattie, feed your snail, blow yourself a bubble chair, and get ready, kids, for the 17 Inappropriate Jokes You Completely Missed In SpongeBob SquarePants
17 Kick It Towards The Wall!
In an attempt to get Gary to take a bath, SpongeBob paints the bathtub up as a treasure chest and pretends that Gary and him are pirates following a treasure map. Upon discovering the “chest,” SpongeBob pulls out two doubloons, which are actually bars of soap, telling Gary to not drop them. Yes, SpongeBob just made a joke more suitable for Oz than a children’s show.
This one is a great example of how to hide adult joke in a kid’s show; for children viewing, SpongeBob could easily have been telling Gary to not drop the doubloons because they’re treasure.
However, from an adult's perspective the joke immediately jumps to the age old prison advice of never dropping the soap, for fear that bending over will result in unwanted attention from fellow inmates.
16 A Very Special Cake
SpongeBob is a very in-demand sponge, a porous busybody with a serious schedule to keep between all of his friends and hobbies. This is never more evident than in the episode “Overbooked”, where SpongeBob struggles to keep all his promises to his friends.
In the midst of running around during the episode, SpongeBob stops into a bakery to procure a cake for Patrick’s birthday. However, it turns out that the only cake the bakery has is a cake that reads “Sorry about the Scabies” in vibrant purple icing.
This one would slip by most kids because they would have no idea what Scabies is (it’s an STD or disease that involves burrowing mites that cause rashes), and probably makes most adults’ skin crawl. The joke was derived from writer Casey Alexander’s experience with the skin-munching mites at a young age.
15 Rubber Sponge
When the mailman comes to deliver a letter from famous producer Barry Baracuda informing Squidward that they will not be producing his play, SpongeBob is forced to improvise in the skulking squid’s absence when the mailman is looking for him. SpongeBob blows up a series of balloons to make a stand in Squidward, which scares the bejesus out of the mailman.
Nothing is too crazy with that, though, as it seems like a pretty typical series of events for a SpongeBob SquarePants episode, aside from the fact that the “balloons” SpongeBob uses are actually condoms.
How can one be sure that they aren’t just oblong balloons? Since when do long balloons have reservoir tips? Also, why does SpongeBob have so many on him on such short notice? He must be having a serious party in that pineapple after his shift.
14 A Fish With A Strange Appetite
In the episode “Prehibernation Week”, SpongeBob is doing his best to keep up with Sandy as she is anxious about having hibernate sooner than she expects. In the midst of their extreme activities, a fish with a seriously twisted fantasy is discovered in the act... twice.
As the duo sand-boards, Sandy passes a skiing couple at such a furious pace that she burns the male skier’s clothes away, revealing a child’s tricycle and outfit complete with lollypop and paddle ball, all while a children’s nursery rhyme plays.
His female companion looks on in shock before he spouts the infamous, “Uhh, I can explain.” He is seen again in the exact same scenario when Sandy rips his house off of its foundation while looking for SpongeBob.
The fish’s repeated appearances would seem to suggest that he’s into some adult baby stuff during his off time, going so far as to wear the clothes under his skiing outfit in a blatant attempts to work his kink into his every day life. Assuming that the female fish he was seen skiing with earlier was his wife, it seems something he’s ashamed of and hasn't yet told her about.
13 "Oh No, He's Hot!"
Squidward’s nemesis Squilliam Fancyson calls him out in the episode “Squilliam Returns”, claiming that Squidward-- who wasa voted most likely to suck eggs in high school-- hasn’t amounted to much since graduating.
During a speech, Squidward tries the tired and true method implemented for public speaking, imagining the audience in their underwear. When Squidward tries to imagine Squilliam in his skivvies, it backfires big time.
Instead of being lankly and undefined (much like Squidward), Squilliam is packing some serious six-pack abs and a set of picturesque pectorals underneath his smoking jacket, much to Squidward’s dismay.
It’s pretty humorous to see a show that features anthropomorphic sea life paste one of its character’s heads on a human body, but the implication that Squilliam is completely superior to Squidward in every way-- including physically-- is hilarious and would float over most children’s heads.
12 There's A Hotline For That
As Patrick and SpongeBob make their way over to watch a jousting match in “Dunces And Dragons,” an employee of Medieval Moments greets them and points our deep-sea duo to the jousting arena.
When SpongeBob corrects the employee’s lack of Old English and makes off with Patrick giggling, the camera sticks on the employee, dressed as a castle guard, who sticks his spear hesitantly to his neck before lowering it and dejectedly muttering, “Someday…but not today.”
There are a few things that are downright baffling, such as this, and it's a wonder how the SpongeBob SquarePants team was able to slip them by Nickelodeon censors. It’s a serious dark note when compared to the especially joyful show, which usually features SpongeBob and Patrick running through fields and giggling. The result is dark, adult, and not what one would expect when watching a kid’s show.
11 Next Year We'll Have A Cash Bar
There’s a reason why most companies have stopped having open bars at their holiday parties; people who spend every day together, budding resentment or sexual tension, have a tendency to go a bit crazy when they have unlimited booze funneled into their mouths.
SpongeBob might not be doing keg stands, but he definitely is getting wild enough to create embarrassing snapshots. Plus, Patrick and him get drunk in the movie and other episodes off of ice cream, so maybe he was hitting the rum raisin a little hard that particular Christmas?
Either way, it’s good enough to stay locked in Patrick’s secret box, so it has to be something ridiculously embarrassing; the addition of a Christmas party definitely means some sponge skullduggery was involved, most likely after a few cold ones.
10 A Fry Cook That Tosses More Than Patties
In the midst of Kevin C. Cucumber forcing SpongeBob to undergo ridiculous tests to prove his worthy of becoming a Jellyspotter, the lovable sponge is told to put jelly on his face to feed wild jellyfish.
“Who wants to lick my cheeks,” he proclaims as a swarm of jellyfish move towards him. That phrasing after prominently featuring his sponge butt earlier in the episode in all its glory is proof that the writers were going for-- and achieved-- a well placed butt joke.
While seemingly innocent, there are many other phrasings that the writers over at SpongeBob SquarePants could have chosen that wouldn’t instantly invoke images of a porous set of butt cheeks.
Though this could be interpreted as a childish joke, like most toilet humor, tossing someone’s salad is a very adult concept. Even worse is SpongeBob’s insistence that the many feeding jellyfish tickle as they lick the jelly from his cheeks.
9 SpongeBob Gets The Hot Channel
The beginning of the episode “Your Shoes Untied”, starts with an incredibly adult joke unrelated to the rest of the story. SpongeBob is watching a sea anemone dance to some serious pole dancing music as it swings to and fro.
SpongeBob leans forwards, obviously intently interested on what’s unfolding on screen, when Gary sneaks up on him from off screen. He quickly changes to football, nervously claiming that he was “looking for the sports channel.”
SpongeBob was totally watching some late night programming, the kind where the sea anemone holes are floundered around wildly to cheesy music. SpongeBob’s nervous surprise and quick changing of the channel, along with one of the classic,“I’m totally not watching porn!” all point toward the programming not being very acceptable for innocent eyes.
8 A Touch Too Real For Couples
SpongeBob and Patrick find an abandoned baby scallop and quickly decide to become adoptive parents. The episode may be the most adult SpongeBob SquarePants episode ever made, mainly because of its depictions of marriage and relationships.
SpongeBob and Patrick’s relationship starts well enough, with both parents accepting equal responsibility of their newfound baby. However, Patrick starts going to “work,” while SpongeBob is stuck taking care of Junior, cleaning the house, and apparently stuffing diapers everywhere that he possibly can.
Things reach a boiling point that is only rectified by Junior finally leaving the nest, which brings SpongeBob and Patrick back together in the culmination of their shared goal.
The episode is eerily accurate and adult, an eleven minute synopsis of the status of marriage, societal norms, and the function of marriage and gender in the modern age. It interlaces these adult themes with SpongeBob SquarePants’ clever brand of humor, including topless and body hair jokes.
Not only is the humor adult, but the contemplative look at society is mature enough to fly over the head of any child viewer.
7 I Like Like Him
When SpongeBob and Patrick set out to sell patties on the road with a submarine in the episode “20,000 Patties Under The Sea”, SpongeBob tells Squidward goodbye twice, the second time adding a dreamy flair to it. When Patrick questions why SpongeBob said goodbye to Squidward twice, SpongeBob replies that he “likes Squidward.”
Nothing wrong with that, after all SpongeBob is a pretty happy go lucky sponge, and tends to like everyone and everything. However, the sultry spin put on the second parting words to Squidward would make viewers assume that SpongeBob’s “like” is of a sexual nature.
Again, nothing wrong with that; theories of SpongeBob being gay have circulated since the show’s first season. The possible sexual undertones elevate it from children’s humor to adult undertones pretty quickly.
6 Beastiality In Bikini Bottom
SpongeBob ties his seahorse Mystery up outside the Krusty Krab in the episode “My Pretty Seahorse”. While Mystery is parked out front, two locals approach her, thinking that she’s a new ride that Mr. Krabs has installed for patrons of the restaurant.
They search for a coin slot to start the ride up, find a “slot,” and one gets kicked into the horizon, culminating in a mushroom cloud. So what kind of slot would two curious fish find on a live animal that would cause it to kick so hard that it ended in nuclear fission?
With Mystery being identified as a female seahorse, a “slot” would most likely constitute exactly what you’d think, which she surely wouldn’t like being poked, prodded, or used as a coin slot.
5 Mr. Krabs Finally Gets The Money Shot
In “Krusty Dogs”, Mr. Krabs begins to sell hot dogs made from Krabby Pattie meat, along with the other items on the menu. After the Krusty Dog becomes more popular than Bikini Bottom’s favorite burger, Mr. Krabs erases Krabby Patties from the menu, predictably causing SpongeBob to have a panic attack.
In an effort to thwart the Krusty Dog’s popularity-- and get Squidward out of a dignity diminishing Krusty Dog costume-- SpongebBob and Squidward decide to concoct a plan that “will make this wiener thing blow up in Mr. Krab’s face."
There are few things that make people laugh like wiener jokes, especially when they’re slipped into the usually innocent banter of a children’s program. Bonus points for our deep-sea friends deciding that the best course of action to thwart their crustaceous management was to give him a money shot.
4 A Skirt Wearing Sponge
In the episode “Can You Spare A Dime?” Squidward quits his job after Mr. Krabs falsely accuses him of stealing his first dime. Hearing that Squidward is jobless, SpongeBob agrees to let him stay in his pineapple until he gets back on his feet. Squidward then, in typical Squidward fashion, he becomes a total burden on the Good Samaritan sponge.
It gets to a point where Squidward even requires SpongeBob to deliver food to him in bed dressed in a French maid outfit. Not only is this degrading to SpongeBob, but it could also be considered sexually deviant, as French maid outfits are generally associated with their own brand of smutty sexual fantasies.
Sexually driven or not, this gag will sail cleanly over the heads of kids who will have no idea why SpongeBob is being treated so badly, once again, by his worst friend.
3 Mr. Krabs and Squidward Meet Patricia
Convinced that a hired assassin is after him, Patrick asks SpongeBob for help in thwarting the attempt on his life. SpongeBob suggests that Patrick should dress up like a girl, resulting in Patricia being created in order to protect his identity.
As a classic case of a cross-dressing man being taken as an extremely attractive woman, the entirety of Bikini Bottom goes nuts over the newfound heartthrob. So much so, that Mr. Krabs hires Patricia to work at the Krusty Krab, while both he and Squidward compete for her attention.
When Patrick realizes that a hired assassin is not pursuing him, he rips his costume off, causing Squidward’s eyes to shrivel into his head and Mr. Krabs to dejectedly mutter that he will “be in his office for the next 20 years, or so.” It’s implied that Mr. Krabs is about to partake in some serious soul searching while sitting behind that desk.
2 I Wonder How Many Bags He Buys A Week?
As SpongeBob and Patrick do their best to make it as door-to-door salesman in “Chocolate With Nuts”, they regroup to try and reinvent their sales technique. Spotting a billboard, SpongeBob wonders aloud how Barnacle Chips are able to sell millions of bags a day, despite not being as delicious as the billboard promises, to which Patrick replies “not the way that I use them.”
How exactly does Patrick “use” barnacle chips? Besides eating, there are many morally illicit uses for chips that will greatly diminish the taste; with Patrick’s antics there are a variety of disgusting possibilities that could require him to make his ominous comment.
How much worse they taste after Patrick is done “using” them, however, is something that no one wants to find out...
1 Patrick's Sixth Arm
In “Texas”, Sandy is suffering from a severe case of homesickness that prompts Patrick to suggest that they bring a slice of Texas down to Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob compliments Patrick by telling him that his genius is showing, which causes Patrick to immediately panic and cover his crotch.
Yep, Patrick thought that his sixth arm was hanging out of that flower print bathing suit. This one has a tendency to fly right over the heads of any kids or young ones watching. There are few things that make us laugh as hard as wiener jokes, and this is one of the greatest ones ever slipped past Nickelodeon’s censors.
It’s right at home in one of the most cleverly written children’s shows of all time.
Can you think of any other inappropriate adult jokes that were slipped into SpongeBob SquarePants? Sound off in the comment section!