Some DC Comics fans may be familiar with the Batman script that's long been trending on the internet created by Keaton Patti. He wrote it using a bot he forced to watch 1,000 hours of Batman films, resulting in a wild and wacky script of epic proportions. Recently, Marvel Comics reached out to Keaton, asking him to have his bot create a Spider-Man story in the same vein as part of their 25th issue of the current Amazing Spider-Man series. The result is one of the greatest and most hilarious short Spidey stories of all time.
The story itself is featured at the end of Spider-Man #25. Titled "Robo-Helpers," it was written by Patti's bot, reportedly after having it read every Spider-Man comic ever, with the art coming from humans Dan Hipp and Joe Caramanga. The story begins with the Webslinger's origins, though they're unlike anything ever been depicted before. Apparently, Peter Parker was just a "normal boy teen" until an "active-radio spider" encountered him, which "bit his hand like a wheatcake." He was then transformed by the bite to Spider-Man. Then, his "friend Ben Uncle" was killed by death, leading Spider-Man to "avengers his death" as the "Friendly Spiderhood Neighbor-Man".
Spider-Man (or is is Neighbor-Man?) goes off in search of danger, finding the dreaded "Octopus Doctor," an actual Octopus wearing a lab coat and "his greatest enema." Apparently, Octopus Doctor's plan is very smart and scientific: He will push the Statue of Liberty, leading to the hero's death. However, Spider-Man overhears his whole plan, courtesy of the eight ears he apparently possesses.
Caught in Octopus Doctor's grip while an army of Aunt Mays look on for some reason, Spider-Man's spider-sense tells him that his "spider-back is spider-breaking." Freeing himself, Octopus Doctor's next step is to stop Spider-Man with science, literally shooting physical numbers and equations that Spidey becomes trapped under. Thinking about his Aunt May, Spider-Man returns the science with anger, defeating the Octopus Doctor.
The wackiness and hilarity doesn't stop there. Peter Parker goes to a diner to finally relax with his many girlfriends at the same time, including Mary Jane, Gwen Stacy, Kitty Pryde, Betty Brant, Silk, and Black Cat. However, a weird hybrid of J. Jonah Jameson and Kraven the Hunter arrives, demanding pictures of Spider-Man immediately. The issue ends with Peter Parker saying that he guesses it's true: "With great power comes great power."
The best thing about these stories created by Keaton Patti's bot is that it totally manages to capture the spirit of the characters and the usual overarching beats typically found in a Spider-Man or Batman story. But at the same time, they completely mix them up and add a healthy dose of the absurd. In any case, while this short story is incredibly funny for its ridiculousness, perhaps Marvel Comics should continue having humans as their primary writers. If this story is any indication, it seems doubtful they'll be outsourcing to robots any time soon.