South Park: 16 Times Randy Marsh Took Things TOO FAR

Randy Marsh is one of the funniest adult characters from South Park. He is always causing trouble and is forever taking things way too far.

Randy Marsh is one of the more extreme characters on South Park. While his character took some time to develop, Randy has become one of the more humorous characters as the show has gone on. As the father of Stan, Randy is always causing trouble.

The thing about Randy is that he's very self-absorbed. He puts his desires, whether faulty or not, before anyone else, and never seems to receive any consequences for his actions. His wife Sharon is the only one who ever does anything about Randy.

Stan and Randy have a complex relationship. No matter what Randy does, Stan doesn’t ever seem very surprised. He’s merely annoyed by the actions of his father.

Randy makes a big deal out of everything. He always takes things way too far. No matter what’s going on, count on Randy to turn a small thing into something big, whether it be due to his competitive nature or narcissistic ways. It doesn’t help that he’s a scientist and that everyone in town always looks to him for help and solutions.

Here are the 16 Times Randy Marsh Took Things Too Far In South Park.

16 He Tries to Become a Television Chef

In the season 14 episode "Crème Fraiche”, Randy becomes obsessed with the Food Network. He watches it on his own until Sharon blocks the channel on their television.

This doesn't stop Randy, however, as he finds other ways to enjoy the Food Network. Sharon becomes so enraged by Randy's obsession with the channel that she leaves him and goes on vacation.

Meanwhile, Randy decides that he will become a television chef. He begins working in the cafeteria at Stan's school, which annoys Stan.

Cartman dresses up like Gordon Ramsay in order to help Stan persuade Randy to return to normal. Unfortunately, Randy fully believes that Cartman is Gordon Ramsay and, instead, tries to impress him. Then more television chefs arrive, encouraging Randy into believing that he can actually become a television chef.

15 He Thinks His Alcoholism Is Cancer

"Bloody Mary" is a season 9 episode of South Park where Randy receives a DUI for driving drunk after picking up Stan and his friends up from karate class. As part of his punishment, Randy has to join Alcoholics Anonymous, who tell him that alcoholism is a disease. Randy being Randy, he takes this piece of information to an entirely new level.

Randy decides to treat his alcoholism-- which isn't even real alcoholism-- like it's cancer. He buys a wheelchair, shaves his head, and forces Stan (at age nine) to drive him to a bleeding Virgin Mary statue to cure him of his alcoholism.

Once there, Randy cuts in line to be "blessed" by the statue because he believes his alcoholism is worse than everyone else's medical problems.

14 He Fights Other Little League Dads

In the season 9 episode "The Losing Edge", all of the fourth grade boys on South Park's little league team find baseball incredibly boring to play. They win their last game of the season which enters them into a summer championship tour.

All of their parents are enthusiastic about the championship, however, particularly Randy who loves drinking and fist fighting other parents at each game.

Randy picks an opposing team player's father at every game, fights him, and then does it all again at the next game. Before the final state championship game, Randy becomes fearful of "Bat Dad," a large farther who goes to his son's games dressed up in a cape and a bat mask.

Randy acts like Rocky before his big fight in Rocky I. Randy treats his potential fight as though it's more important than the state championship game.

He eventually shows up late to the game and fights Bat Dad. To the kids' delight, Randy's fight disqualifies the South Park team, so they don't have to compete in the national tour.

13 He Steals a Superconducting Magnet That Can Travel at the Speed of Light In Order to Win a Pinewood Derby Race

Randy steals a superconducting magnet that can travel at the speed of light in order for Stan to win the pinewood derby contest in the season 13 episode "Pinewood Derby".

Randy dresses up as Princess Leia and travels all the way to Switzerland to steal the magnet, just so he can put the magnet in Stan's derby car. Of course, Stan wins the contest before he finds out what his father had done.

The next morning, South Park is visited by an alien who forces Stan and Randy to recreate their pinewood derby car. Randy then has Stan stab the alien. Once dead, a few members of the town walk onto the alien's spaceship to find it loaded with "space cash."

The entire world assumes they can use the space cash like normal cash. Randy is in control of everything and doesn't see anything wrong in him taking credit for creating something that reached the speed of light and enabled everyone into stealing space cash.

Karma reaches him in the end though, when the alien who died comes back to life calls Randy and the entire planet out for being selfish and unworthy of joining other alien life.

12 He Moves His Family To California To Find Internet Porn

When the citizens of South Park wake up to find that the internet is no longer usable in the season 12 episode "Over Logging", Randy takes matters into his own hands.

Thinking that there has to be accessible internet in Silicon Valley, Randy brings the entire Marsh family to an internet refugee camp out in California. In order to access the internet, each refugee has to stand in line for hours and can only use the internet for less than a minute at a time.

Randy isn't pleased when he finds this out. He only wants to use the internet to access to extremely obscene porn in order to please himself.

While everyone is sleeping one night, Randy sneaks over to the computer in the dead of night, but is eventually caught.

However, Randy had overused the internet, which resulted in no one else being able to use it afterwards. Thankfully, Kyle fixes the internet and everything ultimately goes back to normal.

11 He Gives Himself Cancer In Order to Buy Medical Marijuana

In the season 14 episode "Medicinal Fried Chicken", Randy discovers that South Park's local Kentucky Fried Chicken has been replaced by a medicinal marijuana store.

When Randy goes to his doctor for a marijuana prescription, he realizes that he has to actually be sick in order to receive the prescription, and then proceeds to try and give himself cancer.

After a few experiments, Randy successfully gives himself testicular cancer. He receives his prescription for medicinal marijuana and then convinces a bunch of other men in South Park to give themselves cancer so they can all buy pot together.

Cartman, on the other hand, is overly upset that there's no longer a Kentucky Fried Chicken in South Park, and he takes over a fried chicken cartel in the basement of some kid's house, producing his own chicken.

The doctor in town later decides that everyone is getting cancer due to the Kentucky Fried Chicken closing down and the fact that everyone is eating Cartman's replacement.

10 He Creates A New Form of Football

When Randy finds out that the 4th grade football team isn't allowed to do kickoffs anymore due to safety concerns in the season 16 episode "Sarcastaball", he is extremely upset. Believing that the boys should be able to do kickoffs, Randy goes to a PTA meeting where he sarcastically suggests that the boys play a new, made-up game.

The game that Randy suggests is called sarcastaball and includes the boys wearing bras and paper hats, complimenting one anther instead of tackling, and playing with a balloon instead of a football.

Butters is great at the game, and Randy becomes the boys' coach until the NFL starts playing sarcastaball too. The Broncos then hire Randy to be their head coach.

No one catches onto Randy, who can't seem to stop being sarcastic. The whole time, Randy is just trying to prove a point about how he thought the safety concerns were ridiculous.

Randy ends up visiting the doctor, who tells him that his instincts to always be sarcastic is permanent, though Randy goes back to being normal at the end of the episode.

9 He Convinces Everyone That Global Warming Is On The Attack

Randy is a geologist which is one of the reasons why everyone in South Park always listens to him-- he has some type of credibility.

In the season 9 episode "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow", Stan and Cartman steal a boat and crash it into a beaver dam. This causes the town of Beaverton to flood.

Instead of thinking of any other reasons, Randy tells everyone that the town flooded because of global warming. He causes everyone to panic, and they all try to evacuate town before global warming hits. According to Randy, global warming isn't gradual and is going to hit South Park head on.

Once everyone believes that global warming is causing the world to freeze, they decide to stay in doors. Stan tries to help the people of Beaverton, but gets into trouble and calls his dad for help.

Randy ventures out into what he believes to be the freezing wilderness and almost gets heat stroke in the process because he's wearing too many layers.

8 He Battles Bono To See Whose Bowel Movement Is Larger

Season 11's "More Crap" is one of the most ridiculous episodes of South Park. In it, Randy is overly constipated. When he is finally able to go to the bathroom he discovers that his bowel movement is extremely large, and decides to tell the world.

Unfortunately, Bono from U2 comes out to claim that he had a larger bowel movement than Randy, and thus begins the battle.

Randy essentially trains his body to have a larger bowel movement in order to beat Bono. There's not a lot to say about this otherwise: the episode is ridiculous and the creators know it.

Bono demands that Randy must travel to Zürich to prove that his bowel movement is larger. Randy and his family go to Switzerland, where we discover the history of bowel movement records.

Randy eventually gains the highest record, with a stool that weighs more than 100 courics and lifts him several feet off the ground.

7 He Has Everyone Abandon Materialistic Items

In the season 13 episode "Margaritaville", the town of South Park is being affected by stock market issues. Randy blames everyone for spending things, but it's obvious that Randy is materialistic too.

Even so, Randy decides to take matters into his own hand. He dons a sheet and takes to the streets, standing on a stool where he preaches to the town. He encourages everyone to stop buying materialistic things, telling them to wear sheets instead of clothes and to give kids sticks instead of toys.

Kyle wants to prove to everyone that the economy isn't a bad thing. He believes that people should still spend money and help the economy grow. He then buys an American Express card with no spending limit and pays off everyone's debt. Randy eventually decides to give in and he too has Kyle pay off all of his debts.

6 He Shoots A Guy Who He Assumes Is Turning Homeless

In the season 11 episode of South Park “Night of the Living Homeless", Kyle gives a homeless man twenty dollars. This leads to more and more homeless people taking over the town, after they hear of the boy's generosity.

The citizens of South Park begin act like the homeless people are infected zombies and take shelter. Randy ends up on the roof with a bunch of other people in town.

When one man speaks to his wife on the phone, he finds out that he no longer has a home. Randy comes to the conclusion that the man is "becoming homeless" and they need to be careful of him-- acting like the guy has been bit by one of the homeless zombies.

The man begins to think about how he's going to pay for his stuff, and ends up asking the other people on the roof for help-- Specifically asking them for spare change.

This is when Randy decides that the man has become "completely homeless," and the only option left is to shoot him in order to save the other "survivors."

5 He Holds FedEx Workers Hostage

Randy has it together for most of season 15's "TMI", where Cartman assumes that the school has posted penis sizes on the wall of the school.

This leads to Randy going to the school and trying to explain to the boys how to accurately measure penis sizes. The only problem is that Randy is doing this just so he can feel better about his size.

When Randy is confronted at the school, he is forced to attend an anger management class, which  consists mostly of males.

Randy becomes the leader of the class, and convinces the rest of the group leads the group to burn down the building. They then go to FedEx, where they hold hostages within the FedEx and ramble off a list of demands to the government.

It's later assumed that the group is mad because they believe that their penis sizes are below average. News breaks that the average penis size has been changed and Randy becomes happy once again.

4 He Cuts Off Future Stan's Hand

All of the fourth grade boys find a joint in the woods in the season 6 episode "My Future Self 'n' Me". Stan comes by and asks why no one is throwing the joint away, and the boys tell him that they don't want to touch it and become contaminated. Stan then decides to throw away the joint himself.

Later, there's a knock on the Marsh's door. It turns out that Stan's future self has come back to the past. Stan's future is addicted to drugs, basically homeless, and he's been to juvenile hall.

Stan finds out that it's not really his future self; his parents had hired an actor to show Stan what he would be like if he did drugs. Stan becomes enraged by this and puts his parents to the test, saying that he'll cut his hand off which will cause his fake future self to lose his hand.

Stan pretends to cut his hand off, so Randy actually cuts off the actor's hand in order to prove to Stan that the actor really is Stan's future self. Needless to say, Randy is a bit excessive when it comes to keeping secrets from his children.

3 He Buys a Blockbuster and Goes Crazy When No One Visits the Store

The season 16 episode "A Nightmare on Facetime" came out when Blockbusters were being closed. Instead of traveling to a store to find a movie, people now downloaded movies onto their computers. If they did venture out, they went to a Redbox.

However, Randy has always been a bit out of the loop, so, when he sees the "for sale" sign, Randy decides to buy an older Blockbuster store.

Randy insists that the store will bring in tons of money, but no one shows up to rent movies. Randy then begins going crazy.

He doesn't allow his family to go out trick-or-treating on Halloween night in the hopes that people will be going to Blockbuster. He also starts talking to ghosts within the Blockbuster, and things just go downhill from here.

The Blockbuster ends up burning down. Sharon reaches out to the insurance company and saves Randy from losing all of his money. Still disappointed, Randy sits out in the snow and waits for Sharon to bring him McDonalds.

2 He Writes a Musical So His Wife Will Pleasure Him

In the season 15 episode “Broadway Bro Down", Randy takes Sharon to see a musical. Someone tells Randy that Sharon will pleasure him orally if he takes her to see Wicked. Fortunately for him, his wish eventually comes true, which gives him an idea.

Randy takes Sharon to New York to see a bunch of Broadway shows. He then decides to write his own musical. He begins to work on his musical, but it's entirely about oral pleasure and a bit too obvious. This causes the other famous Broadway writers call Randy out, but they eventually decide to help Randy rework his musical.

Meanwhile, Randy's daughter, Shelly goes with a boy to see Wicked. Randy becomes worried because he doesn't want his daughter to do anything with the boy. He ends up ruining the musical to "save" Shelly, and never gets to show off his own musical in the end.

The boy Shelly went with also ends up dying due to Randy.

1 He Says the N-Word on Live Television and Then Acts Like He's The One Being Discriminated Against

In the season 11 episode "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson", Randy says the n-word on Wheel of Fortune which, for some reason, is being filmed live.

When everyone gets mad at him, Randy acts as though he's the one being discriminated against. Acting like the victim when you've done something racist isn't the best idea, and Randy takes it to the extreme.

Randy ends up doing slam poetry and has the government ban the phrase "that n-word guy" because he believes that people who use this word inappropriately shouldn't be labeled.

Obviously, Randy doesn't get it and believes that his problems are the only problems in the world. This episode therefore takes the cake when it comes to Randy taking things too far.


What's your favorite South Park Randy moment? Let us know in the comments!

Next Friends: 10 Hidden Details About Chandler & Joey's Apartment You Never Noticed