The bulk of the humor on South Park, comes from a select few people. Typically the funny characters are zany figures like Cartman, Butters, and Jimmy.
Stan Marsh, who's somewhat the "moral compass" and voice of reason in South Park - if there is such a thing - isn't first thought of for his humor. Heck, even his own father, Randy, tends to get more hilarious moments than he does.
Regardless, this main character has spouted some great one-liners and quotes during this show's rich, 20-plus-year history.
Let's take a look at 10 of Stan's all-time best and funniest lines.
"Parents Can Be Pretty Cruel Sometimes, Dude. They Get Off On It."
In just one of the many moments Stan shows support to his best friend Kyle, he hits him with this blunt and humorous bit of wisdom. This is following a squabble between Kyle and his parents, who assured him he could go with Stan to see a rock concert after "bringing democracy to Cuba." Funny enough, a determined Kyle actually manages to make this happen, only to still be denied by his parents, who clearly gave him such an absurd task to avoid letting him go.
Given the hilarious context this falls in, this "matter of fact" quote by Stan definitely hits the mark.
"...It Was The Fifth-Generation Nano, So I can't Trade It In Anywhere!"
Marsh and the gang are going on a ziplining escapade in the mountains, only to find it's excruciatingly boring. Soon enough the boys find themselves on a boat trying to escape this miserable tour group and get home. In a clever, cheeky spoof of the survival show, I Shouldn't Be Alive, Kenny ends up dead from boredom, and the boys question exactly whose idea this awful trip was.
It turns out to be Stan's. But why would he do such a thing? The boys are crushed when they discover he sold them out for an iPod Nano, as signing up 4 friends landed him one. These circumstances make it all the more hilarious when Stan begins to cry over Kenny's death. Though what Stan is really distraught about is the fact that the Nano he earned was only a junky fifth-generation model.
After losing a friend, this is what he claims was "the worst part of it all."
"My Dad... He's Kind Of Losing It. To Be Honest, I Feel Kind Of Bad For Him."
There's often a funny dynamic between the practical Stan and his zanier, more naive father. They tend to bring out the best in each other at least in comedic terms. One great example of this is when Randy goes full-blown Jack Torrance mad, in a Halloween-themed Shining spoof.
Randy had bought a Blockbuster, which was no longer viable thanks to RedBox and streaming. Randy gets increasingly nutty as he grows stir-crazy from the lack of action from his new investment. This line that Stan speaks to his friends really says it all. It's a great encapsulation of how funny, and yet how simultaneously thoughtful, this character can be.
"You Don't Suck At Football, Butters. You Suck At All Sports."
While Butters tends to get the brunt of Cartman's bullying, Stan has offered more than a few zingers at his expense as well. One of the great ones comes from the episode "Sarcastaball," which a tamer and goofier new version of football takes off in South Park.
Before this new fad shows up, though, the boys are playing football, and Butters just doesn't get the sport. "That's why I suck at it," he says. Stan replies with this blunt quip, which only gets funnier when Butters responds with "That's true."
"You're not Gene Hackman or that guy who played Napoleon Dynamite, But You're Okay."
One of the more humorous episodes of South Park ever also showcases Stan at is best. Not just in terms of his grounded sanity amidst the chaos, but also his great zingers. A self-conscious Tom Cruise, who's under the impression Marsh is the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard, wants to know what the supposed Scientology founder thinks of his acting.
An amusingly nonchalant Stan replies with this memorable quote, which isn't enough for Cruise, as he locks himself into Stan's closet. One could only imagine what would have happened if Stan actually criticized his acting!
"I Think It Is The Nicest Hat I've Ever Known."
In a rare SP moment in "Follow That Egg!" Stan and Kyle find themselves in a fight. Kyle comments that a school assignment that calls on couples to take care of an egg is "stupid," and Stan angerly responds with "So is your hat!" Kyle has been paired up with Wendy for the assignment, prompting the jealous outburst.
The blunt, simple, and juvenile nature of Stan's insult is pretty funny by itself. So is his line meant to make amends, in which he proclaims in a cheesily solemn manner that it's actually the nicest hat he's known. In a way, it's the completion of their character arcs.
"I'm nominating You For Biggest Douche In The Universe Award!"
Showrunners Matt Stone and Trey Parker clearly aren't too fond of TV personality and psychic John Edward, whose merits (or lack thereof) they spoof and tear apart in the episode "The Biggest Douche in the Universe."
Stan is key in this one, as he's basically the vehicle for the criticism, once again standing as the voice of reason amongst a sea of naivety. While he's got plenty of memorable moments here, one of the highlights of this classic is his heated back-and-forth with John Edward. The way he closes out their argument by barking this harsh, out-of-left-field insult is both delightful and hilarious.
"Competing Against Other People And Getting In Their Faces Saying 'Haha! I'm Better Than You!' Is Part Of Life."
This loaded, but memorable quote from Stan is quite amusing in the context of our ultra-competitive society that's often mirrored through TV and sports. Yet, it's also particularly humorous given the context of the episode, where Stan attempts to recruit Butters for his dance group. His goal? To "serve" a rival dance troupe as revenge for being "outdanced" by them.
In a hilarious parody of the dance-centric '04 film You Got Served, Stan tries to convince a distraught Butters to join him, despite a horrific and lethal mishap he caused while tapdancing. This line he busts out is funny for how absurd it is, but also because it hits surprisingly close to home.
"No, I Mean It Sounds Like Somebody Is S**ting In My Ears!"
We tend to grow at least a touch more cynical and jaded as we get older. South Park demonstrates this in a most clever, humorous way with "You're Getting Old" from season 15.
Stan gets bummed out as he's beginning to (literally) view everything as crap, which is apparently a side-effect of aging. When Kyle tries to get his friend to listen to the hip new music style, "Tween Wave," Stan responds with this gem after being asked to clarify what he means by "s***ty."
"You mean the singing, lyrics, or what?" he asks.
"In America, If Something Sucks, You're Supposed To Be Able To Get Your Money Back!"
After not being particularly amused by Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ, Stan and Kenny embark on a journey to confront the filmmaker and get their money back. This episode is hysterical for all sorts of reasons - mainly thanks to the insane, goofy caricature of Mel Gibson - yet it's also one where Stan's at his comedic best.
One delightful moment comes when Stan - and by association, his voice actor Trey Parker - takes a self-deprecating shot by dissing their own film BASEketball. Another laugher comes during Stan's tirade about the merits of getting reimbursed in America for things that "suck." The goofy line, with its hint of clever commentary, makes for a great representation of South Park as a whole.