South Park: Randy's 10 Craziest Escapades

Randy Marsh voiced by Trey Parker is always up to no good. Here are the wildest things the character has done.

Although he was first introduced as a one-off character in the season 1 episode “Volcano,” depicted as the town’s resident geologist and not even as Stan’s dad, Randy Marsh has gone on to become one of South Park’s most popular characters. In recent years, he’s brought a Whole Foods and a new wave of social awareness to South Park, meddled in the outcome of the 2016 election, moved away and started growing weed on Tegridy Farms, and had even become the show’s proxy for its own complicated relationship with the Chinese government. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. So, here are Randy’s 10 Craziest Escapades.

RELATED: 10 Weirdest Episodes Of South Park (That Test The Limits)

10 The Losing Edge

In a searing parody of sports movies, “The Losing Edge” sees the boys intentionally trying to lose all of their baseball games in order to free up their summer, only to find that all of the other teams want to do the same thing, so they have to ironically become the best at losing.

RELATED: South Park: 16 Times Randy Marsh Took Things TOO FAR

Meanwhile, Randy sees it as his responsibility to get drunk and fight one of the other dads at every game. At the end of the episode, he encounters his greatest foe yet, “Bat-Dad,” and he has to train like Rocky Balboa in the art of getting wasted to prepare for the fight.

9 More Crap

After a few weeks of constipation, Randy finally gets to go to the bathroom and believes that he has taken the biggest crap of all time. He calls the people at the Guinness Book of World Records and they decide that he has, in fact, broken the record, beating its previous holder: Bono. Bono responds by topping the record again, which leaves Randy feeling depressed. So, he dedicates himself to breaking the record once and for all. Trey Parker and Matt Stone made the episode in response to their Emmy win, with a banner constantly reminding viewers that they’re watching an Emmy-winning show in long, drawn out pooping sequences.

8 With Apologies to Jesse Jackson

The episode “With Apologies to Jesse Jackson” begins with Randy in a difficult predicament. He’s appearing as a contestant on Wheel of Fortune, and for the top prize, in the category of “People who annoy you,” he has to fill in the blanks in: “N_GGERS.” As it turns out, the word they were looking for was “naggers,” but Randy says something much more horrible instead.

RELATED: 10 Times South Park Went Too Far

Randy spends the rest of the episode as an outcast from society. He apologizes to Jesse Jackson, who he believes to be “the emperor of black people,” then gets into def poetry, and ends up finding salvation with a group of other white people who publicly used the N-word.

7 Margaritaville

South Park’s Emmy-winning take on the recession satirically jabs the economy by comparing it to a religion. It’s not a tangible thing; it only exists when we have faith in it. When the economy crashes, Randy inspires the town to cut back on frivolous spending by wearing bedsheets. However, at the same time, he enjoys his new Jimmy Buffett-branded margarita maker, which Stan goes through several chains of a finance company to return. He eventually ends up at Wall Street, then at the U.S. Treasury, where he learns that every economic decision is made by c1utting off a chicken’s head, tossing it onto a chart full of outcomes, and seeing where it lands.

6 Band in China

Season 23’s “Band in China” is the episode that got South Park, well, banned in China. The 23rd season has revolved around Randy’s weed farm, Tegridy Farms, and his attempts to expand his business. In “Band in China,” he got the novel idea to sell his weed to the billion people in China, only to find that Hollywood had the idea first. When the Chinese airport security finds weed in Randy’s luggage, they send him to a labor camp. He eventually bows down to the Chinese government and agrees to bend his ‘tegridy to appease them for the extra money.

5 Over Logging

When the internet connection suddenly disappears from South Park in the brilliant season 12 episode “Over Logging,” everyone is devastated, but no one more than Randy. After hearing that there might be some internet out in California (or, as Randy calls it, “up Californ-ee way”), Randy packs up the car and moves his family down there. At this point, the episode turns into a bleak black-and-white parody of The Grapes of Wrath, hysterically presenting an internet-less America as a Depression-era wasteland. They end up in a refugee camp in Silicon Valley where they get less than one minute of internet time per day.

4 Holiday Special

The season 21 episode “Holiday Special” takes aim at the controversy surrounding Columbus Day. Randy is going overboard in his sudden hatred of Christopher Columbus, tearing down statues of him and phoning every resident of Columbus, Ohio, to call them racists. However, as the episode progresses, it’s revealed that before the controversy came up (as recent as 2013), Randy was “stoked on Columbus.”

RELATED: South Park: The Show's 10 Best Twists

He even dressed as Columbus on his wedding day. So, he’s desperate to cover up his past obsession with Columbus in today’s cancel culture. Meanwhile, Stan and the boys simply want Columbus Day to go forward so they can have a day off school.

3 Bloody Mary

When he’s arrested for drunk driving after picking up Stan and the boys from their karate class, Randy has to attend a few Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. By referring to alcoholism as a disease, the A.A. meetings convince Randy that he’s powerless to stop himself from drinking. So, he goes home, sits in his father’s wheelchair, shaves his head, and cracks open a beer. A nearby statue of the Virgin Mary begins to bleed and the Pope declares it a miracle, so Randy gets Stan to drive him to the statue and cut in line to be healed by its cleansing power.

2 A Nightmare on FaceTime

In a pitch-perfect parody of The Shining, the Halloween episode “A Nightmare on FaceTime” sees Randy buy a Blockbuster Video for $10,000 without realizing that streaming is quickly overtaking video rental as the public’s leading way to watch movies. Much like Jack Torrance, Randy starts to go insane. Instead of wandering around the Overlook Hotel, haunted by past guests, he wanders around the aisles of his Blockbuster location, haunted by the ghosts of old customers. Instead of chasing Danny through the snowy maze, he chases Stan through the snowy parking lot. Instead of freezing to death, he just asks for some McDonald’s.

1 Medicinal Fried Chicken

South Park - Medicinal Fried Chicken

When Randy finds out that medicinal marijuana has been legalized in Colorado, he’s eager to get his hands on some. But he can’t get any without having a disease that warrants a prescription. So, he looks into giving himself cancer. When Sharon tells him to stop, he just says that he only wants to get “a little bit of cancer.” Eventually, he manages to get testicular cancer by sticking his crotch in a microwave.

NEXT: South Park: 10 Absolutely Hilarious Randy Marsh Quotes

Next How I Met Your Mother: Main Characters Ranked By Intelligence