South Park: 10 Absolutely Hilarious Randy Marsh Quotes

Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski and Kenny McCormick have always been considered the main cultural icons of South Park. However, they are not the only ones to achieve this status.

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Over the years, several other characters have successfully managed to stand out and become just as funny, if not funnier than the boys. Stan’s dad Randy is one of these characters. Since his official debut in “ Volcano,” his eccentric behavior and tendency to overreact made him into a fan favorite. After 22 years, Randy has said and done some pretty weird stuff. Here is a list featuring the top 10 funniest quotes by Randy Marsh on South Park.

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10 “T-There Was A Ghost! This Ectoplasm!”

Parodying both the novel and film versions of The Grapes of Wrath, “Over Logging” follows Stan and his family as they head to California to find some Internet, which has gone down across the country. They eventually arrive at a refugee camp, which allows only 40 seconds of Internet access per person.

Unfortunately, this is not enough time for Randy, who later sneaks in after-hours to indulge his abnormal sexual fetishes. He winds up getting caught by volunteers and his family. In a futile attempt to defend himself, he tries to convince everyone that he was “slimed” by a ghost.

9 “I’m Not Having A Glass Of Wine, I’m Having Six! It’s Called A Tasting & It's Classy!"

“Freemium Isn’t Free” satires the addictiveness of freemium games and links it with other forms of addiction. This episode also addresses the addictive behaviors affecting the male members of the Marsh family. However, while Stan and his grandfather, Marvin, try to overcome their addictions to freemium games and gambling, Randy continues to indulge his addiction to alcohol.

When Randy starts lecturing them, Marvin calls him out for drinking wine. Randy tries to deny this, but only reinforces his addictive behavior by saying this quote. In the end, his drinking only becomes more excessive and he fails to learn a thing.

8 “Ya Ya Ya Ya Ya. I Am Lorde, Ya Ya Ya!"

Towards the end of "Gluten-Free Ebola," Randy dresses up as Lorde at a party thrown by the boys. Ironically, several characters become convinced that he is the real Lorde as he sings this quote onstage.

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In "The Cissy," Randy reveals that there is more to his disguise than just trying to look like Lorde. He then confesses and successfully proves to Stan that he is the real Lorde, causing him to pass out from shock. Funny enough, the real Lorde praised Randy’s portrayal of her. She also thought it took a progressive stance in terms of exploring transgender culture and acceptance.

7  “Staaaaaan. I’ve Never Been Able To Say This Before, But… I Love You Son. Augh!”

"Make Love Not Warcraft" is widely regarded as one of the best South Park episodes of all time. After watching Stan play World of Warcraft, Randy decides he wants to play as well. Unfortunately, he becomes the victim of a griefer that has been killing players online.

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He gets another chance to shine when Blizzard Entertainment executives entrust him to deliver "The Sword of a Thousand Truths” to the boys to defeat the griefer. He succeeds in his mission but his character gets killed in the process. As his character dies in the arms of his son's avatar, Randy signs off with his iconic, yet hilariously melodramatic death cry.

6 "I Don't Have Any Change!"

"Night of the Living Homeless" is just one of many episodes that shows just how over-the-top the adults in South Park can be. After the city council notices that their homeless population is increasing, Randy and the other adults discuss how to handle the problem.

The situation soon spirals out of control as the homeless population explodes and threatens to consume the town. Randy is almost overwhelmed by a horde of homeless that beg him for change. In an exaggerated manner, he yells out "I don't have any change!" From there the situation deteriorates hilariously, as Randy threatens to shoot anyone he thinks is homeless.

5 "Stanley, You Call Your Friend An A**hole This Instant!”

After Randy and the other dads in town sign up their kids to join the Mountain Scouts, they soon find out that their scoutmaster is Big Gay Al. Randy and several parents express concern that Al’s homosexuality will rub off on their kids, with some even afraid that Al may also try to molest them.

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After picking the boys up from a scout meeting, Stan calls Cartman a “big silly goose." Randy is quick to overreact as he berates Stan for using the term and says this line. Thus was born one of the most iconic Randy quotes in the series.

4 “What Seems To Be The Officer, Problem?”

"Bloody Mary" is one of the show’s most controversial episodes, but it also includes one of Randy’s best quotes. While driving home intoxicated, Randy gets pulled over by the police. He initially tries to convince the officer that he is sober, but he screws up when he replies with this question.

Randy is then forced to perform a simple sobriety test. He not only fails the test but also drops his pants in the process. All while humiliating his son as his friends Cartman, Kyle, and his little brother Ike watch. This may be one of his lowest moments, but it is also his funniest.

3 “Just Gonna Get A Little Bit Of Cancer, Stan. Tell Mom It’s Okay."

When medical marijuana shops open in South Park in "Medicinal Fried Chicken," Randy immediately tries to get some. He then intentionally tries to give himself cancer so that he can get a prescription, going to extreme lengths in the process. This includes sunbathing while smoking with several phones taped to his head, as well as exposing himself to x-ray radiation.

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When Stan comes to tell him to stop giving himself cancer, he replies with this line. The way he says this so nonchalantly makes this one of his funniest quotes in the series.

2 “You’re A Lousy Kid! I Wish Jaden Smith Was My Son!”

When the children of South Park realize that their parents are watching murder pornography, they become concerned that they may try to murder each other in real life. To prevent this, they block the channels with security questions revolving around the game Minecraft, which the adults have no idea how to play.

When Randy realizes that Stan blocked his channels, he tries to convince him that there is nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, his comments have the opposite effect and only reinforce Stan's suspicions. Randy then reacts childishly and yells this quote.

1 “Isn't This America?! I’m Sorry, I Thought This Was America!”

South Park - The Losing Edge

Out of all the Randy quotes in the series, the funniest and most iconic was in "The Losing Edge." As the boys are forced to waste their summer playing Little League baseball, Randy gets involved in his own competitive sport. During every game, he intentionally picks fights with dads from the opposing players' team.

He quickly climbs through the ranks of the fighting dad circuit and is arrested after each altercation wearing only his underwear. All while insulting the police and yelling this line. No matter how many times he says this quote, it never stops being funny.

NEXT: South Park: The 10 Worst Things Randy Marsh Has Ever Done

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