Over the two decades South Park has been on the air, Matt Stone and Trey Parker have crafted some memorable, hilarious, and inappropriate stories. Many of those revolve around Eric Cartman, the foul-mouthed, straight up evil fourth grader who may go down in history as the worst cartoon character ever conceived, morally speaking. With that in mind, he's still managed to become a beloved TV character, but he has a tendency of crossing the line. So, we've taken our favorite horrible Cartman moments to present to you. Here are some of the worst things Cartman has ever done.
Creates A Church To Con Kids Out Of Money
From: "Probably" (Season 4, Episode 10)
Of all the things on this list, fraud is somehow the least-bad-but-still-awful thing Cartman has ever done.
In this episode, Kyle, Kenny, Stan, and of course, Cartman create their own church to skip school and create general mischief, but the largest member of the group finds a way to turn this into a money making scheme. It's later revealed that Cartman only made this plan just to make money, all at the expense of his friends and classmates. Yet the scary part of all this is how easily he made himself a believable evangelist. His ability to put ethics aside and commit to a character like that just to take money from everyone he knows is a sure sign of a sociopath.
Makes Life Awful For "Gingers"
From: "Ginger Kids" (Season 9, Episode 11)
In a class presentation, Cartman gives a speech about "ginger" kids — children with red hair and freckles — and says they don't have souls. He says they contracted the condition from the disease "gingervitis" and those who only have red hair without freckles are "daywalkers". He even uses bible verses to support his bigotry, saying Judas Iscariot was ginger. This causes shockwaves throughout the school, eventually causing a rise in disdain towards "gingers". Then, in an attempt to humble Cartman, his friends paint freckles on him while he's asleep — but this makes the situation worse. He gathers the other red-haired, freckled kids to rise up as the "great race".
He only gets worse when he's supposed to learn a lesson.
Exploits Dying Kenny To Legalizes Stem Cell Research, Profits
From: "Kenny Dies" (Season 5, Episode 13)
When Cartman finds himself with a truckload of aborted fetuses, he needs to offload them to make a profit. Luckily for him, Kenny is diagnosed with some kind of degenerative muscle disease and will die. Cartman decides this is the perfect situation to exploit, and he lobbies to have stem cell research legalized. He acts as though he is a caring friend to Kenny, even though he clearly has ulterior motives. Kenny eventually dies from the disease, but the bill legalizing the research is passed. During the funeral, Cartman barges into the church, yelling that there's been a miracle, convincing others to leave the ceremony to follow him. They comply, only to learn they were lead to a pizza parlor the child created with his stem cells.
Made A Crack Baby Sports League
From: "Crack Baby Athletic Association" (Season 15, Episode 5)
This is actually worse than it sounds. In this episode, Kyle discovers Cartman has been volunteering at a medical center to help with babies who are addicted to crack. It didn't take long for him to realize that Cartman wasn't doing that out of the kindness of his heart, however. Instead, the evil mastermind has been taking these babies to pit them against each other for a ball of crack. Somehow, the operation was successful enough to warrant a possible video game with EA Sports, and they were in the process of negotiating with Slash to play the half time event of their upcoming fight.
This episode proves that if there's a chance to make a dollar, Cartman will exploit it.
Destroys San Francisco With Cthulhu
From: "Mysterion Rises" (Season 14, Episode 12)
In an attempt to get back at his friends for kicking him out of "Coon and Friends" and keeping the name, Cartman befriends the ancient god Cthulhu by acting like a cute kitten. The Lovecraftian monster thinks the human is adorable and befriends him. This gives Cartman the opportunity to trademark his superhero team name, but it comes at the cost of the entire city of San Fransisco. The entire city is flattened by Cartman and his new pal.
The child is so petty that he will ruin the lives of millions just to get back at his friends. We have to respect that kind of commitment to revenge over such a trivial squabble.
Pretends To Have Tourette Syndrome
From: "Le Petit Tourette" (Season 11, Episode 8)
While at a toy store, Cartman found a kid with Tourette Syndrome, but instead of feeling sympathy for the child, he was jealous. So much so, he decided to fake having the disorder so he can say what he wants whenever he wants without repercussion. To make matters worse, Kyle, who is aware of his friend's deceptive ways, isn't believed when he snitches to his principal. Not only that, but she believes he thinks all people with Tourette Syndrome is faking and forces him to apologize to a support group of people suffering from the neurological disorder — including Cartman.
Thankfully, Cartman's plan backfires and he begins to lose any filter. This causes him to unwillingly admit to some embarrassing things from his past. So at least, he suffers a little bit here.
Campaigning To Have Kenny's Feeding Tube Removed To Get A PSP
From: "Best Friends Forever" (Season 9, Episode 4)
When Kenny is dying (again), his friends and family have a tough decision to make. Should his feeding tube be removed so he can die? Or should he be kept on life support to be kept alive to live akin to a vegetable? For Cartman, the decision was easy — he should be allowed to die. While the idea is noble, especially for Cartman, it wasn't as moral as it seems. You see, he only came to this decision because he discovered Kenny left his PSP to his hefty friend in the (let's be honest, likely) event he dies.
Cartman's stance was the opposite of his friends', who wanted to keep their friend alive. Knowing he's fighting an uphill battle, he takes the issue nationally, speaking to the news and rallying citizens to back his position.
In Cartman's defense though, the PSP was a pretty great handheld.
Pretended To Be Disabled To Compete In Special Olympics
From: "Up The Down Steroid" (Season 8, Episode 2)
When Cartman learns there is a $1,000 prize for winning in the Special Olympics, he decides to enter thinking he'd be a shoo-in for first place. He fakes having a disability and acts the part in one of the worst impersonations of a disabled person we can imagine. With that in mind, Cartman is so out of shape he can't really compete. In fact, he comes in last place. Still, he manages to get some kind of compensation, winning the "Spirit Award", which comes with a gift voucher.
Giving Kyle HIV
From: "Tonsil Trouble" (Season 12, Episode 1)
When Cartman goes in to have his tonsils removed, he contracts HIV from a contaminated blood donor. Yet, despite his disease, he doesn't get much sympathy from Kyle — who has to leave the room laughing any time they talk about it. Obviously upset from the lack of respect he's received, Cartman contrives a plan to break into Kyle's house to place a few droplets of his infected blood in his "friend's" mouth. The plan goes off without a hitch, and Kyle contracts HIV. This prompts an entire episode about the two trying to find a cure, which they eventually do.
We don't need to dive too deep into this one. Giving someone HIV is an awful thing to do, and a literal crime — like most things on this list. But this one is just a little worse than some of the other things Cartman has done throughout the years.
Feeding Scott Tenorman His Parents
From: "Scott Tenorman Must Die" (Season 5, Episode 4)
When ninth-grader Scott Tenorman tricks Cartman multiple times — we're not going to discuss the nitty-gritty of this part, however— the chubby third-grader devises a plan that will ruin his bully's life. He challenges Tenorman to a chili cookoff, something that seems simple, but is far more sinister than anyone could have imagined. It turns out Cartman kidnapped Tenorman's parents and cooked them in the chili the ninth-grader was eating. When he learns his parents are dead — and he ate them — he begins to cry. That's when his favorite band walks by and mocks him. The episode ends with Cartman literally licking the tears off Tenorman's cheeks.
Don't mess with Cartman, it will ruin your life.