Kody Brown, the patriarch on TLC's Sister Wives, has his fans and his haters. Over fifteen seasons, viewers have seen how Kody manages his four wives and his many children. There doesn’t seem to be as many good times as there are bad times, although audiences can never be sure what footage is ending up on the cutting-room floor and which plot points are manufactured by producers. Still, the evidence seems to point to the fact that a significant amount of the family’s problems originate in Kody looking out for his favorite person: himself.
The COVID-19 quarantine came with unique challenges for the Browns. While most families were stuck at home with each other, the Brown family was divided among four different households. Kody came up with a strategy that he thought was best, which basically required his wives and children to stay home, while he got to go wherever he wanted. His plan didn’t work out well, as the children didn’t like suddenly being isolated from their siblings, and some of them were going to school or work outside of the home, despite Kody wanting them to stay home. Kody’s reaction was to be upset that his children’s needs were being put before his own – not the mark of a good father. But there are many other signs that Kody puts himself before his family.
The way the Brown’s polygamist lifestyle is set up only works if the man is more interested in his own wellbeing than that of his wives. Asking every wife to be completely loyal to a husband who will be sleeping with other women is not fair. On top of that, Kody gets all of his needs met by his multiple spouses, while each of them only gets a fraction of a husband. Add to that the fact that his wives all have jobs, while Kody has not appeared to do any work in some time, and his wives all help raise the children. Most spouses don’t get to skip out on contributing anything to their families, but Kody has set up his life to be the easiest on him.
Kody’s wives are not equal partners in their marriage. They do whatever Kody decides. When they express a different desire, Kody doesn’t consider their side. Viewers saw how Kody criticized Christine in front of all the wives when she expressed how much she wanted to move back to Utah. Kody has no respect for his wives’ opinions because he has no respect for his wives or concern for their feelings. He asked Meri for a divorce so he could legally marry his newest wife, Robyn, and it never occurred to him that divorcing Meri might make her feel unappreciated.
In one season 15 episode, as Janelle is explaining how Kody’s absence made her children feel, Kody rolls his eyes. The fact that his kids were feeling neglected by their father annoyed Kody because it’s inconvenient for him to need to put even his children’s needs before his own. The most startling example of this was Kody’s handling of his daughter’s surgery. His teenage daughter was in pain from her scoliosis and needed surgery. Because the timing would have inconvenienced Kody, he tried to pressure his daughter to delay her pain-relieving surgery. When that didn’t work, Kody suggested the teenager travel and have the surgery alone, with no one going along to support and take care of her. The suggestion left his daughter in tears, and, instead of offering apologies or comfort to his daughter, Kody left.
Fans who aren’t yet convinced that Kody is utterly selfish should rewatch the series and see how many times Kody refers to himself and his own feelings versus how many times he mentions anyone else’s feelings, and not just to mention how much other people’s feelings annoy him. Kody was not a good candidate to be a good husband to even one wife and unfortunately, he has wound up with four. Although, if he keeps acting the way he has been, he may end up with none.