It’s rare to see a recent episode of Sister Wives where Meri, Janelle, Christine, or Robyn are smiling. None of the women seem to be happy in their polygamous marriage, and Kody Brown is unwilling to work on the relationships. As much as fans are screaming for the wives to leave and seek happier lives as either singles, or in monogamous relationships, the family has stayed together for 15 seasons. There has to be something the women are getting out of this relationship that has kept them married to Kody through all his selfish behavior.
As Kody’s children grow up, we’ve seen how Kody isn’t just failing as a husband, but also as a father. From rolling his eyes when Janelle says her children felt neglected by him to making his daughter cry when he tried to force her to delay pain-relieving surgery, Kody seems to have no idea how to put anyone ahead of himself. While he can apparently be charming when he is courting women, once he is married, he seems to abandon all desire to put in any effort.
For wife Robyn, Kody offers a very obvious and understandable thing: a safe home. Robyn’s first marriage ended in divorce, with Robyn citing abuse as the reason. Robyn wanted to give her three small children a safe home and a father. While some viewers have claimed Kody’s behavior is abusive, it is apparently not as bad as the situation she came from. Robyn had a hard time before joining the Sister Wives. No one can blame her for putting up with Kody if it gives her a better home situation than she experienced in the past.
For the other women, marriage with Kody also gives them a fair amount of security. As lousy of a husband as Kody is, he won’t divorce any of his wives. He told Us Weekly there’s a double standard in polygamy. He said the "double standard is I don’t get to leave, but they can.” He has stayed true to that so far, staying married to Mari, even as he says they no longer have a relationship. Maintaining a marriage, but not working on having a healthy relationship may or may not be a good idea, but the wives may take comfort in the fact that when Kody said, “til death do us part,” he meant it. He has said his faith and his conscience would not allow him to initiate a divorce with any of his wives.
Perhaps the biggest benefit the wives believe they are getting out of their marriage with Kody is a spot in Heaven. The Browns, despite being kicked out of their church, still maintain the belief that God commanded that men take many wives and women submit to it and that those that do will get a special place in Heaven. In season 15, Kody said he sometimes wonders if his wives married him because they really wanted to live a polygamous lifestyle, or if they felt commanded to do so because of their religion. If the wives believe suffering through one lifetime married to Kody gives them an eternity in paradise, that explains why they stay in such an unhappy marriage.
Kody offers his wives physical safety, a lifelong commitment (at least on paper), and a special place in Heaven. Kody is not a great husband by any stretch of the imagination, but Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn are willing to settle for him because he meets at least their most basic requirements. It seems doubtful that will be enough to hold their disintegrating marriages together. As the wives, and even Kody, open up more and more about how unhappy they are, viewers are becoming convinced it’s only a matter of time until the whole family collapses. Hopefully, they will rebuild healthier, happier lives apart.
Source: Us Weekly