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Silicon Valley: Dinesh's 10 Best Quotes

A parody of the bustling tech hub of Silicon Valley, California, the HBO series Silicon Valley, which has aired five seasons to date with a sixth coming in 2020, has captured viewers’ attention for its hilariously exaggerated (but also somewhat realistic) interpretations of what it’s like to work in tech.

In the series, Richard Hendricks is an intelligent app developer who builds a ground-breaking data compression algorithm. He makes a big move and decides to try and get his discovery off the ground, despite not knowing the first thing about business. He enlists the help of several developers, venture capitalists, and other influential people while fighting off the tech giant Hooli (a clear parody of Google) that is eager to beat him to the punch.

One of his loyal employees/friends is Dinesh Chugtai, a stereotypical programmer type who’s awkward, self-involved, and fiercely dedicated to his work. Constantly serving as the butt of Bertram Gilfoyle’s jokes, the team’s network engineer, their frenemy relationship results in some of the best back and forth insults on television. But Dinesh holds his own with or without Gilfoyle, delivering some hilarious lines that have viewers shaking our heads, laughing out loud, or, often times, both.

RELATED: Silicon Valley Season 6 Production Delayed, May Not Air Until 2020

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10 Why Live Like a Refugee?

“Why would people who aren’t refugees choose to come here and live like refugees? You know that’s not, like, a desirable thing, right? Living like a refugee? Ugh! This place is offensive to homeless people.”

Having emigrated from Pakistan, Dinesh sometimes can’t understand the things that California folk do for fun, like attend the Burning Man event, roughing it in tents like, well, refugees. When you think about it, what he says truly makes sense. We can’t really argue with him there.

9 Insane Mode

“I love my Tesla. It has Insane Mode, which means it goes zero to 60 in 3.2 seconds, which is literally insane. But the Tesla that Danny ordered has Ludicrous Mode, which means it goes zero to 60 in 2.8 seconds. So it's gonna take me an entire 0.4 seconds longer to get to 60. I mean, how would you feel if one of your neighbors got a tiki head bigger than yours?” 

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Only Dinesh would drop thousands on a new Tesla after the company gets funding for the sole purpose of impressing others. But when he finds out someone else got a better version, he seethes. In the grand scheme of things, is 0.4 seconds really that big of a deal? According to Dinesh it is. Because it isn’t about having the best car, but about being the guy who everyone envies because he has the best car.

8 Wanting to Be Number One

“I used to be the Tesla guy in the office. I maxed out my credit cards to be able to afford that thing. And now that we're getting series B, any one of these bourgeois new money millennial f**** can just go out and buy one. I don't wanna sound selfish, but sometimes I wish only I made money. You know?

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A second comment relating to his Tesla, Dinesh was so upset when he realized that more funding was coming. Because that meant just about anyone in the company would have the means to go and pick up one of these seemingly unattainable vehicles that he just dropped serious coin on. And it hurt all the more because he solely bought it for the ability to say that he was the only one who had one.

7 He’s Got Coding Skills

“That was an out-of-body experience. It was like God was coding through me. Time stood still.”

Dinesh might spend a lot of time trading insults with Gilfoyle on the hilarious series, but when it really comes down to it, he’s a damn good software engineer with amazing coding skills. So when he’s on a roll, he’s really in a zone. And he’s always proud, almost boastful, of his own work once it’s completed successfully.

6 Nothing To Lose

“I know all my embarrassing s*** is on your phone and if you look at it, you will mock me endlessly and without mercy. But what’s also true is that you already mock me endlessly and without mercy. So I have nothing to lose and, potentially, a huge amount to gain.”

Fighting with Gilfoyle over whatever secrets each has on his phone (one of them has to plug theirs in to fix a glitch in the system), Dinesh realizes that whatever ribbing from Gilfoyle after seeing what’s on his phone can’t be worse than what he already gets anyway. But the idea that Gilfoyle might have something to hide? That excites Dinesh to no end.

5 On Dating

“On the off chance that this is an actual real woman, getting murdered seems like an acceptable risk.”

Dinesh isn’t exactly lucky with the ladies, so when he meets one who is seemingly genuinely interested in him, and super-cute and smart to boot, he figures that whatever might be wrong with her can be overlooked. Ax murderer? Crazed maniac? If he gets a date and gets laid, it’s all worth it.

4 Awkward Conversations

“I’m the exact same way. It being a movie doesn’t mean I’m going to like it.”

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While on a date with Mia, Dinesh is expectedly awkward and uncomfortable. He doesn’t have a lot of dates. So when he asks her if she likes movies, suggesting maybe they watch one, and she replies that it depends, his response is embarrassingly hilarious.

3 Power Went to His Head

“I was CEO for 11 days and in that time, I violated the rights of 50,000 little girls, exposed them to sexual predators, and racked up fines the size of a small nation’s GDP.”

When Dinesh had a short stint of power as CES of Pied Piper, complete with a new attitude (and hairstyle) he focused far too much on playing the part that he let some simple yet massively important details fall through the cracks…like ensuring that the chat site included public terms of service that put an age limit on who could join. Violating children’s online privacy protection rules? Pshaw. No big deal.

2 The Pakistani Denzel

“It’s me! Pakistani Denzel! Yes!”

Clearly, Dinesh has an inflated sense of self, despite his awkward demeanor. While testing a Pied Piper video chat, he’s excited when it actually works, and he can see the woman helping them test from halfway across the world in beautiful clarity.  Of course, it’s a pretty girl, and when he refers to himself by this name, referencing the veteran actor with the killer smile, she quickly mentions her, uh, boyfriend.

1 Closing Down

“Look at these f****** maggots. Crawling all over our garbage, leaving their slime of mediocrity.”

After Richard makes the tough decision to fire the entire sales team and move back to the Hacker Hostel upon realizing the company’s financial state, Dinesh makes this comment as he watches the vultures buying up the office equipment. Whoever they are, they can’t possibly e anywhere near as talented as Dinesh and his team.

NEXT: Silicon Valley Season 6 Production Delayed, May Not Air Until 2020

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