Little did Sex and the City fans know that the Brooklyn bartender Miranda met in Season 2 would go on to be the man she married in Season 6. While there were many starts and stops to their relationship along the way, goofball Steve helped cynical Miranda grow in countless directions and inspired her to make room in her busy independent life for a nurturing romance.
Alas, on repeat binges of Sex and the City, Steve's behavior has come under intense scrutiny. Before Carrie dated down-to-earth craftsman Aidan, or Charlotte courted lovable Harry, Steve was the series' resident "nice guy," and some of his selfless antics began to look self-serving. When was Steve actually a good person, and when was he manipulating Miranda with a façade?
"Nice Guy": Demonstrating His Interest In Miranda
While it may seem like a sweet romantic gesture that Steve showed up at Miranda's door after their night of passion, brimming with soft ministrations about how he couldn't stop thinking about her, Miranda was very clear that their time together was only ever going to be a one-night stand. Steve, who emitted all the essence of a lost puppy, basically guilt-tripped her into seeing him again.
Thus began a trend of Steve showing up at Miranda's door at 4am after his bar shift and her having to take him in like a stray. He never stopped to wonder how Miranda felt about his pushy and insensitive gestures, because to him they meant how much he cared.
Actually A Good Person: Pushing Miranda Out Of Her Comfort Zone
Miranda was used to living her life according to her own parameters, from how she took her coffee to what she ordered from her favorite noodle house. Any deviation from her daily routine sent her into a neurotic tailspin, so having someone like Steve in her life was an impetus for her growth in compromising.
Miranda wasn't ecstatic when Steve moved into her apartment because he would see everything about her daily life and there wouldn't be any way to prevent him from knowing her vulnerable side. Steve welcomed and accepted all sides of Miranda, which allowed her to feel totally supported and loved.
"Nice Guy": Wanting To Have A Baby
At the same time that Steve was eating Miranda out of house and home, laying around on the couch when there were chores to be done around the apartment and leaving his dirty laundry for Miranda to do, he was dropping hints that he and Miranda should have a baby.
Miranda once said that in New York City, a 34 year old man without an income or home was a catch if he was single, but a single woman with financial stability was tragic. She saw a baby as an obstacle in her path to making partner, but she also didn't want to miss out on finding a man willing to commit. Steve wasn't too concerned about whether Miranda wanted to start a family; he just wanted someone to watch cartoons with.
Actually A Good Person: Wanting To Contribute To The Relationship
Despite not having Miranda's impressive salary, Steve tried to contribute to their relationship in ways that made sense for him. If he could only afford pizza for dinner, that's what he bought, but he never let her pay for things that he could afford on his own.
He didn't want Miranda paying for everything they did, not just because it made him feel less like of a provider and therefore less of a man, but because he supported her views of equity, and didn't want her to feel that she always had to take care of him.
"Nice Guy": Planning A Romantic Honeymoon
After they got married, Steve whisked Miranda away on a romantic honeymoon deep in a woodsy wilderness. With no television, radio, or internet connection, they would be completely alone, with nothing to do all day but lounge around naked and feed each other strawberries.
When Miranda had enough of their cabin in the woods, Steve couldn't understand why she wanted to go back to the city. For someone like Miranda, who Steve knew didn't like to relax, it was enough just to spend one night without connection to the outside world. He made the stay all about his needs and wants under the guise that it was for the both of them.
Actually A Good Person: Being There For Aidan
Steve didn't just take an interest in Miranda. He took an interest in her life, and even after they broke up (the third time), he stayed involved in her friends' lives because he didn't want to be perceived as petty. He remained friends with Carrie's ex Aidan, and was empathetic to his pain, providing him an understanding audience while he processed his breakup.
Steve wasn't friends with Aidan to get Miranda back; he was friends with him because they shared similar interests and didn't need to stop associating because he and Miranda were no longer an item. In this way, Steve showed an admirable amount of maturity and respect.
"Nice Guy": Suggesting They Move To Brooklyn For Brady
Steve persuaded Miranda to leave her lovely pre-war era Upper East Side apartment in Manhattan to go to Brooklyn, where she could buy a house that would comfortably fit their growing family. Not only would there room enough for the two of them, Brady, and their dog, but also it turned out, Steve's mother.
While Steve may have thought he had Miranda in mind when he hatched the idea of the Hobbs exodus, the move was ultimately about him and his wants. Miranda was miserable in Brooklyn and yearned for a stronger connection to her old life, desperate for company from her friends so she wouldn't feel like she was in exile.
Actually A Good Person: Showed Up For Brady Despite Being Miranda's Ex
After Miranda and Steve had Brady, the shortcomings of their relationship didn't go away. Having a child together didn't make them any more compatible, and in the end their fundamental differences were too great to surmount, resulting in them breaking up.
Steve was the one who wanted the baby so fervently, and just because he was no longer a part of Miranda's life romantically, he didn't abandon Brady and his responsibilities. He provided nurturing support for him even when Miranda started dating someone else.
"Nice Guy": Wanting To Move In
Despite knowing that Miranda was a woman who needed her personal space and didn't like compromise, Steve wanted to move in with her, trying to cite all the reasons their cohabitation would be beneficial: sleeping side by side, enjoying meals together, never having to travel very far to see one another, etc.
Eventually, Steve's dedication won Miranda over, especially considering it was difficult for her to find a man willing to commit domestically. Soon after he moved in however, it was clear that Steve's idea of living together was diametrically opposed to Miranda's. He left her place trashed and they eventually broke up, even though Miranda had completely overturned her lifestyle.
Actually A Good Person: Taking Care Of Miranda
Miranda was used to doing everything for herself and was proud of her self-sufficiency even with Steve around. But when she got laser eye surgery, she suddenly found herself unable to be as independent, and Steve was there to help her heal.
He wasn't obligated to help her, especially since they had broken up and Miranda would have understood if he didn't want to be in her life. But he cared about her no matter if they were in a relationship or not. Steve was the perfect person to care of Miranda when she needed it most.