As the show for any group of girlfriends, particularly single ones, to binge watch together with some mixed drinks (Cosmopolitans, of course), Sex and the City was chock-full of dating advice, mishaps, and stories of friendship.
Through the romantic comedy-drama’s six-season run from 1998 through to 2004, the four main characters, Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall), Charlotte York (Kristin Davis), and Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon) navigated dating as single 30- and 40-something-year-old women in New York City.
Each woman had her own, distinct personality and views on dating. And they often expressed those thoughts through statements that are still totally relevant today.
I’m Looking For Real Love
“I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”
Spoken by the hopeless romantic Carrie, who wrote a column called Sex and the City for the fictional newspaper the New York Star, anyone who’s on a quest to find “the one” can relate. Carrie dated tons of men throughout the series, eventually settling down with the one who always seemed to get away (and come back), Mr. Big. She was notoriously picky, and this quote perfectly describes what any single person who refuses to settle wants in a partner. Chances are they will choose to keep looking over ever settling for anything less.
I’ll Take Whatever You’ve Got
“Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend, or maybe a houseplant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night?”
Always the cynic, Miranda was focused on her career as a lawyer, so she didn’t have much time for dating. When she did, it was often blind dates, or someone setting her up with someone they thought would be a good match since she didn’t have much time to go out looking for love. (The show was pre-dating sites like Tinder!) Plus, she didn’t exactly hold men in high regard, so for her, a date was often just someone to sit next to on a Saturday night. Any career-minded woman in this day and age with little time to date, much less find someone to date, can definitely relate.
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby
“F*** me badly once, shame on you. F*** me badly twice, shame on me.”
Leave it to Samantha, the sexually promiscuous and independent public relations professional to hold nothing back. The always outspoken woman who is willing to try anything (in the bedroom and out), flips a well-known quote on its head by swapping the word “fool” with, well, you get the picture.
The modified quote perfectly describes her constant hunger for sex, and desire for it to be good because, well, she’s damn good, so he better be, too! If you don’t do enough to impress, chances are you’re not going to get a second invitation. Anyone who’s ever had a bad first sexual experience and decided to give it another go knows just what she’s talking about. Photo: New Line Cinema
Emotionally Revealing
“I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty.”
As a writer, Carrie was perpetually witty and knew exactly how to express herself through words. This quote is just one of many examples. Sometimes when you meet someone, you tend to reveal far too much about yourself, your past, your dating history. So much that it could scare the other person away. We can all relate to that, right? Today, most people would refer to that as oversharing. But Carrie found a clever phrase to assign to the act that makes perfect sense, describing how you feel after “oversharing” to a tee.
Screw You!
“The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don’t know how to screw you.”
It’s no surprise Samantha can be attributed to this comment, which perfectly sums up her views on men. And anyone currently dating and having a hard time finding “the one” can totally relate. You meet a good person, and they’re bound to screw you over. Meet a bad person, and they’ll hop into bed with you, but it probably ends there. And then what are you left with? Well, the dating candidates that fit neither category, and you don’t want. Daters back then just couldn’t win, and sometimes, daters today feel much the same. Photo: HBO
Born Again
“I read that if you don’t have sex for a year, you can actually become revirginized.”
Of course there’s zero truth to this statement, but as the most seemingly innocent of the group, Charlotte might have only been half joking when she said it. The product of a privileged upbringing, Charlotte works in an art gallery, and in her youth, was the perfectionist sorority girl, typical prom queen, popular student who was involved in every sport and organization possible.
But regardless of your social status, anyone out there trying to find their soul mate, and willing to hold out until they do, can relate to this thought, as ridiculous as its suggestion is.
It’s Called Sarcasm
“Sexy is what I try to get them to see after I win them over with my personality.”
Miranda would win any sarcasm race, always ready to provide a sharp comment and eyeroll. In this case, she jokes about her perceived lack of sexiness – Miranda is a three-piece pant suit kind of gal (most of the time), not a frilly frock and heels woman like Carrie. So to her, she’d rather win a man over with her glowing personality (or smarts), then let the sexy come later. Of course dating usually doesn’t work that way – most people want to pull out all the stops and impress on their first date. But maybe we could learn a thing or two from Miranda.
He Broke Up On a Post-It!
“There is a good way to break up with someone, and it doesn’t…involve…a Post-It!”
OK, so you might initially think that in this day and age where smartphones are common, as is instant messaging, this break-up reference would totally be dated. But it’s not. Replace Post-It note with instant message, and the statement becomes instantly relatable.
Who in today’s dating world hasn’t been broken up with via a text-based message or, worse, a social media relationship status change? In all cases, it’s just downright cold and impersonal. So we hear ya, Carrie!
Dating at 80?
“So what are we going to do? Sit around bars, sipping Cosmos and sleeping with strangers when we’re 80?”
Girlfriends are forever, and they are there for you to lean on in times of need and celebrate in times of happiness. But anyone currently dating can relate to this statement, feeling as though you’re doomed to repeat the same pattern, over and over, meeting with friends and hoping to meet that special someone. Who hasn’t been out with the gals and wondered, like Carrie did when she said this, if that special someone would ever come along, or if you’d still be out with the girls, peeking over your shoulder at the cute person at the table across the restaurant, when you’re old and grey?
Love Yourself
“The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”
Carrie really was a sort of dating poet, as this statement proves. We can all relate to having to focus on loving ourselves before being able to love another person. Loving yourself will never get old or go out of style. Anyone who has ever tried to change themselves for someone else can relate, too. You know you’ve found “the one” when the person will love and accept you for the person you love and accept yourself for. And yes, as Carrie says, that is indeed totally fabulous.