Sex and the City had quite a lot of whirlwind and romances, but that’s only because the show had such dramatic characters. Every main character on the show has their flaws and their personal struggles and yet some of them have aged well than the others, and we don’t just mean on the outside.

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One of the best things about SATC was that it was very realistic about how people change in relationships and how they drift apart. And yet some of the main characters on the show have stayed rooted to their own sense of self, and have only grown to be better versions of themselves, while others haven’t. Here’s a look at who changed for the better and who didn’t.

Worse: Mr. Big

Carrie and Mr Big in Sex and the City

Mr. Big is easily one of the most controversial characters on the show, the fandom has been hugely divisive on how to perceive the most important man in Carrie Bradshaw’s life. He has exhibited many toxic traits and even stood up Carrie at the altar which was unbelievably cruel. In the sequel of the SATC movie he hardly has anything to do, he’s in his mid-fifties and settling into a comfortable, domestic way of life where he wants some night-ins, a home-cooked meal now and then and does not necessarily want to be the red carpet-loving social butterfly that Carrie still wants to be.

Big’s character arc only proves that he and Carrie have always been incompatible and that he has not changed for the better, and in fact, has grown worse because he is willing to gloss over the problems he and Carrie have just to avoid drama.

Better: Miranda

Miranda Hobbes in Sex and the City

Miranda is introduced in the series as an overworked but acutely ambitious barrister who is independent, self-reliant, and simply does not seem to have time for a social life, except a few brunches with her BFFs. As she grows older she becomes a lot more secure in her own identity and self-worth, she enjoys being a mum, she also seems to have a happy marriage with Steve.

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In one of the movies, Miranda quits her job because she has a sexist boss and also because she realizes she never seems to have time for her family. Miranda learns to prioritize better as she grows older, and even handles her marital issues with a lot of dignity. At the end of the sequel, she is possibly the most fulfilled character in the series.

Worse: Carrie

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City

Carrie starts off as a freelance columnist but as the narrative progresses Carrie becomes a successful published writer. But Carrie has very little personal growth throughout the show and the films; in fact, when she gets stood up at the altar in the first SATC film, the plot device could have been really useful in making some clean breaks for her character.

But all it does is highlight Carrie as a superficial, co-dependent person who cannot get by on her own. In the series, Carrie flies off to Paris, quite randomly to be with Aleksandr, but has no plans for her own life in a new city. And she comes back because Big is finally ready to commit. Almost all of Carrie’s decisions are fueled by what others want and it is quite frustrating to see her being maneuvered by others’ priorities.

Better: Samantha

Samantha Jones in Sex and the City

Samantha is the patron saint of self-love and fans have always loved that about her. She lives solely for her own self and can only be happy if she’s living on her own terms. Samantha has always been at peace with who she is as a person and as a professional, and even when she has self-doubts she can pull herself out of them.

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As she grew older Samantha turned even more empowered and self-aware of what she wants out of her life. She leaves Richard because being with him makes him neurotic and jealous, which is not her. She leaves Smith because she loves freedom more than her relationship, and realizes that she loves the idea of possibilities more than anything.

Worse: Aidan

Aidan and Carrie at Sex and the City

Aidan was the most likable character on the show when he was first introduced; he’s a loving and thoughtful partner, he supports Carrie, and has no hang-ups about commitment. In many ways, he was the anti-Big, which made him such a great rebound. But after he comes back into Carrie’s life fans begin to see him in a different light, especially since he admits that he could never forgive Carrie for cheating on him the first time.

It didn't make sense for him to give Carrie another chance and then when he runs into her at Abu Dhabi, he’s a happily married man with three children and yet he makes out with Carrie. This is something the old Aidan would never do, and it would seem over time he'd become a lot more dubious and untrustworthy.

Better: Charlotte

Charlotte York in Sex and the City

Charlotte had very clear priorities from the very start, she loved working in the art industry and she wanted a loving family. Since she belonged to a wealthy family herself, she never had to struggle financially and most of her problems were related to her love life.

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In the end, Charlotte does get her happy ending, she marries Harry, she has children, and is happy with her life. Charlotte was introduced as a twenty-something woman who’s somewhat of a prude, and was often mocked for being miss goody two shoes, but was never bitter about it.

Worse: Smith

Samantha and Smith in Sex and the City

Though Smith was a fan favorite it’s quite baffling to see that he never really truly understood Samantha. This is not to say he was a bad partner; in fact, he wanted to be with her more than anything and had even stood by her side during her crises. Smith was quite surprised when Samantha left him because he wasn’t entirely sure why their relationship was ending.

Clearly, Samantha was seeking something fuss-free and breezy in terms of companionship, but Smith seemed to have grown into someone who’s a lot more traditional than he used to be and sought some level of domestic bliss, which is not Samantha’s cup of tea.

Better: Steve

Miranda and Steve in Sex and the City

Steve is a great husband, a great father and despite the fact that he cheated on Miranda, he comes across as someone who’s okay with owning up to his mistakes. This is also what makes him so compatible with Miranda, Steve craves transparency and honest communication and Miranda needs that too.

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When he is introduced he’s a young bartender who’s a tad immature and wants to start a family. But with age, he grows into someone who is okay with being the peace-keeper and a stay-at-home dad who’s ready to support Miranda in any way he can.

Worse: Trey

Charlotte and Trey at their wedding in Sex and the City

Trey is introduced as a realistic version of Prince Charming, that Charlotte has been waiting to meet her whole life. He’s rich, he’s a good boyfriend, but of course, it is later revealed that he is hiding a big secret from Charlotte.

He is impotent and also quite under the thumb of his wealthy, overbearing mother who has a lot of influence over his decisions. Trey gradually turns into a pathetic, listless, and a deceitful husband who will not acknowledge the real problems in his relationship and did not appreciate Charlotte’s sacrifices.

Better: Harry

 Charlotte and Harry in Sex and the City

Harry Goldenblatt has quite a few hang-ups about being with Charlotte when he is first introduced but any fan would agree that he has worked the hardest for their relationship. His orthodox roots and a promise to his dead mother made him only want to marry a Jewish girl, and he made Charlotte convert. And though fans have criticized him for not being forthright with Charlotte from the very start, Harry did acknowledge his flaws.

He was also very aware of the issues in their relationship and actually turned into a reliable and stable partner, that Charlotte never found in Trey.

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