Although Seinfeld is known as being "the show about nothing," the sitcom that aired from 1989 until 1998 is also a show about relationships. Elaine, Jerry, Kramer, and George might not have much luck with finding true love and marriage (or even a decent date) but they definitely try their best. The fact that these four characters have such funny observations about the dating world makes every episode even more watchable.
While this is a show that has many famous quotes, from "the Yada Yada Yada" to "The sea was angry that day, my friends," many of the best ones are about dating and love. Here are 10 Seinfeld quotes about relationships that we can all relate to.
10 "She calls me up at my office. She says, 'We have to talk.'"
In the Seinfeld pilot called "The Stakeout," George says this hilarious quote, and Jerry responds, "Ugh. The four worst words in the English language."
While "we have to talk" or "we need to talk" might feel like a cliche at this point, it's a popular statement for a reason: it's easy to relate to. Everyone has said this at one point or they've heard it from a significant other who was, of course, about to break up with them. We really haven't figured out a better way to announce that it's time for a serious conversation, so until we do, this is what we'll say.
9 "It was unprecedented. I mean, it was the first truly mutual breakup in relationship history. No rejection, no guilt, no remorse."
When Jerry says this in the season eight episode "The Foundation," Elaine says, "You're never felt remose" and Jerry says "I know. I feel bad about that." This is a funny exchange that is also very relatable.
Has anyone ever had a "mutual breakup?" Even if people say that they parted with no hard feelings and will stay friends, it's tough to imagine that ever really working out. Jerry is totally right, though: sometimes we don't feel guilty about ending a relationship or not seeing someone again after a bad second date. You have to know when to call it quits.
8 "You're giving me the 'It's Not You, It's Me' routine? I invented 'It's Not You, It's Me!' No one tells me it's them, not me! If it's anybody, it's me!"
George says this hilarious quote about relationships and Gwen (Karen Fineman) says, "Alright, alright... George, it's you." George is totally on board with this and replies, "You're d**m right, it's me!"
It can be so hard to break up with someone when the relationship has naturally run its course and we don't want to insult anyone. We might not want to actually say "It's not you, it's me" since that's such a cliche... but it does come in handy when we're really at a loss for words. It's not like we want to say "It is you!" and run through a list of their faults. We appreciate how honest George is here.
7 "You can't have a relationship where one person says 'I love you,' and the other one says 'I'm hungry, let's get something to eat.'"
In the season six episode "The Face Painter," George says this funny quote, and Jerry has an even funnier reply: "Unless you're married."
While of course George's statement is a bit overdramatic, there is some truth to it. Both partners have to love each other equally and put enough effort into the relationship, and there is really no other reply to "I love you" than the same three little words.
6 "Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over."
Jerry's quote from the ninth season episode "The Voice" is a funny, quirky, and interesting way of describing a break-up. While most people don't have Jerry's way with words and would just say that breaking up sucks, Jerry puts it this way, and we love it.
A lot of people want to break up with their partner but get nervous and essentially chicken out, so they stay in relationships for longer than they want to. Jerry would probably have a funny observation about that, too.
5 "Lunch is fine at the beginning, then you move on to dinner. You don't move back to lunch. It's like being demoted."
Was there ever a more true or easy to relate to statement about the progress of a relationship?
In the third season episode "The Pez Dispenser," George makes this comment about what it means when a couple has lunch and dinner. Sometimes George says something so wise about social situations that it's surprising given how awkward he is, and this is one of those times. He's on the right track. You go for coffee, lunch, or drinks, and dinner is definitely a step above those earlier dates. Going from dinner to lunch would be like moving in together and then deciding to stay in the relationship but have separate apartments.
4 "I mean the problem is that the good ones know they're good. And they know they're in such demand they're just not interested in confining themselves to one person."
Elaine knows exactly how tough dating is, judging from the number of dates that she goes on that don't go anywhere. In the season three episode "The Fix-Up," she says this brilliant quote.
This quote has a lot in common with the idea that if we act like we really like someone, they're going to lose interest immediately. And if we play hard to get, the opposite will occur. After a while, we learn that games are silly and we need to meet someone who doesn't play them, but it takes a while to get there. In the meantime, we agree with Elaine.
3 "People on dates shouldn’t even be allowed out in public."
Who hasn't said something like this before? Jerry makes this smart observation in the season six episode "The Big Salad" and it's another Seinfeld quote about relationships that we can all relate to.
It can be so awkward to actually be on a first date, searching for small talk (any small talk...) but it's honestly even worse to be out with a friend or partner and be seated next to people on a first date. It's like we can feel their nervousness.
2 "Because I snubbed her. You see? Women, they like that! Yes! I understand women. The snub is good, they love the snub."
In the season four episode "The Shoes," George realizes that "the snub" could be his key to dating. Everyone always thinks that they shouldn't tell someone how they feel too early and that playing it cool is the smartest way to date, but as we get older, we realize how silly that idea really is.
While we can definitely relate to George's quote here, we also wish we could give him a hug and tell him that people don't love dating games.
1 "Why is nice bad? What kind of a sick society are we living in when nice is bad?"
How many times have we said, "If only we could date a nice person?" And how many times have we said that we couldn't go on another date with someone because "they're too nice?"
Exactly. George knows what's up, and he says this hilarious quote about nice people in the season three episode "The Cafe." All we know is that there's a fine line between overly sweet and a kind person who is just right for us, and we'll know it when we see it. But we do agree with George, as dating can be super confusing.