In the years since it went off the air, many Seinfeld quotes have become popular and widely known. Most of these quotes have come from the main cast: Jerry Seinfeld, a standup comic and the only character things work out for; George Costanza, a short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man; Elaine Benes, an unmarried, cigar-chomping feminist icon; and Cosmo Kramer, a hipster doofus with an endless amount of terrible business ideas.
But the show was so well-written and well-acted that even some one-episode characters played by guest stars managed to stand out. So, here are 10 Most Memorable Quotes From One-Off Seinfeld Characters. (Just a note: Some of these characters reappeared to testify in the series finale, but since that cameo was their only other appearance, we’ve still counted them as one-time characters.)
“I don’t care about the internship. I care about Kramerica.” (Darin)
It can be easy to write off the latter-day seasons of Seinfeld, since the show did noticeably decline in quality, but there are still some gems in the last couple of seasons. “The Voice,” for example, sees Kramer reopen his old corporation Kramerica Industries when New York University gives him a young student named Darin as an unpaid intern.
At first, Kramer has Darin making lunch appointments for him and picking up his dry cleaning. Before too long, the college catches on and takes Darin out of Kramerica. Darin later comes back on his own because he wholeheartedly believes in Kramerica Industries.
“You double-dipped the chip!” (Timmy)
In the episode “The Implant” (the source of two entries on this list), George tries to establish himself as his new beau’s official boyfriend by flying down to attend her aunt’s funeral. However, at the wake’s buffet, he gets into an argument with one of her relatives, Timmy.
Timmy criticizes George for “double-dipping,” and it’s a concept George doesn’t understand, so Timmy explains, “You dipped the chip, you took a bite, and you dipped again.” George still doesn’t see what the problem is, so Timmy spells it out for him: “That’s like putting your whole mouth right in the dip!”
“I’ve been telling people that I’d like to be an architect.” (Steven Koren)
In the Season 8 episode “The Van Buren Boys,” George is tasked with choosing a young student to receive a scholarship from the charitable organization that the Rosses founded in Susan’s memory. He meets a series of ridiculously qualified overachievers, none of whom strike him as a young mind whose future he wants to secure.
Then, he meets a kid who he sees himself in: Steven Koren. Steven isn’t very bright, and his grades aren’t particularly impressive, but he is able to lie on his feet, and George admires that. They even share the same fake dream job of architecture.
“We had a funny guy with us in Korea. A tailgunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific.” (Alton Benes)
“There’s nothing funny about that.” Elaine’s father, the revered and grumpy novelist Alton Benes, was supposed to recur on Seinfeld. However, when the producers brought in Reservoir Dogs actor and notorious tough guy Lawrence Tierney to guest-star in the role in Season 2’s “The Jacket,” he stole a knife from the set and everyone was so terrified that they didn’t want to invite him back.
They probably made the right call for their own safety, but it would’ve been fun to see more of Alton in later seasons, telling grisly stories from the war and criticizing everything Jerry and George did.
“I could’ve done more.” (Aaron)
In the classic two-parter “The Raincoats,” Seinfeld tied its ending into the story of Jerry getting caught making out with his girlfriend during Schindler’s List by parodying the film’s ending. In the movie, Oskar Schindler isn’t happy about the 1,200 Jewish lives he did save; he just regrets not saving more.
In Seinfeld, Aaron the close-talker regrets not taking Jerry’s parents out to more dinners. Aaron says, “I could’ve done so much more...I could’ve called the travel agency got them on another flight to Paris...I could’ve gotten them out!” Seinfeld had an odd reason to spoof Schindler’s List – Steven Spielberg used to get so depressed while he was making the movie that he would watch Seinfeld episodes to cheer himself up.
“You barely know the car!” (Tony)
At the height of his Everybody Loves Raymond fame, Brad Garrett guest-starred as Jerry’s mechanic Tony in the two-part Seinfeld episode “The Bottle Deposit.” Tony gets way too emotionally attached to the cars that he services, including Jerry’s.
He’s unhappy with how Jerry treats the car, saying, “You know that motor oil you’re putting in there? From one of those quickie lube places, isn’t it? Jerry, motor oil is the life blood of a car. You put in a low-grade oil, you can damage vital engine parts, okay? See this gasket? I have no confidence in that gasket!” It’s hysterical.
“Check this out, Jack!” (Gary Fogel)
In the episode “The Scofflaw,” George finds out that his old friend Gary Fogel was diagnosed with cancer, treated for it, and recovered, and Jerry knew and didn’t tell him. Jerry insists that George can’t keep a secret, which is why he didn’t tell him, but George tries to prove him wrong when Gary reveals to him that he never actually had cancer.
Jerry can tell George is hiding something and coaxes it out of him, discovering that Gary kept up the lie so that Jerry would buy him a toupee. When he gets the rug, Gary has the confidence to do anything. Before approaching a beautiful woman, he says, “Check this out, Jack!”
“You’re hung up on some clown from the ‘60s, man!” (Eric the Clown)
This line is even funnier when you go back and realize it’s Happy Hogan dressed as a birthday clown. Jon Favreau guest-starred as the memorable one-time character Eric the Clown in season 5’s “The Fire.”
George is unhappy with the clown hired for his girlfriend’s son’s birthday party, because his name’s Eric and he’s never heard of Bozo. Eric counters that George is living in the past and needs to allow the world of clowning to move on into a modern era. He tells him, “You’re livin’ in the past, man! You’re hung up on some clown from the ‘60s, man!”
“They’re real, and they’re spectacular.” (Sidra)
In the episode “The Implant,” Jerry begins dating a woman named Sidra, played by guest star Teri Hatcher, who he suspects has breast implants. After a full episode of investigation with Elaine, Sidra catches on and dumps Jerry on the spot.
As she leaves, she says, “And by the way, they’re real, and they’re spectacular.” Apparently, Hatcher improvised the tag of that joke. The line, as written, was only supposed to be “And by the way, they’re real.” It was Hatcher who decided to add the tag “...and they’re spectacular,” to call back to Elaine’s quote from earlier. It made the line much funnier and more memorable.
“No soup for you!” (The Soup Nazi)
The titular character from the episode “The Soup Nazi” might not be the most memorable one-off character in Seinfeld history – although he is up there with the best – but he’s easily the one with the most iconic quote. When a customer comes into his store and orders some food, if they question his strict soup distribution procedures, he yells, “No soup for you!” and takes back their food and refuses to serve them.
This character was reportedly based on a real soup vendor in New York that the Seinfeld writers would patron during their lunch breaks. The episode made this soup vendor a star, but he was naturally unhappy with his portrayal.