Throughout its nine-year run, Seinfeld revolved around the misadventures of four friends – Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer – but they were surrounded by a cast of recurring characters who were just as zany, misanthropic, and absurdly lovable, perhaps even more so.
Among those supporting players were Jerry’s relatable parents, Morty and Helen Seinfeld, a pair of retirees living it up in a condominium complex in Florida. Whenever Morty and Helen showed up, which was a couple of times per season, it was always a guarantee of a hilarious installment of the show. So, here are Morty & Helen Seinfeld’s 10 Best Moments, Ranked.
“My Wallet’s Gone!”
Anyone who’s ever taken an elderly relative to a doctor’s appointment can relate to Morty in the episode “The Wallet.” He complains about everything – particularly the form he has to fill out.
As he’s getting dressed after the appointment, Morty can’t find his wallet in his pocket. He says, “They stole my wallet. The bum stole my wallet!” Then, he pokes his head out the door and starts yelling, “My wallet’s gone! My wallet’s gone!” In the season 4 finale, the wallet turns out to be between the couch cushions in Jerry’s apartment.
Morty’s Impeachment
When a vote from the woman that Jerry mugged for a marble rye gets Morty impeached as condo board president, he leaves office in disgrace with Helen and Jerry.
The condo residents all come out onto the street to watch him walk out to his new Cadillac. The way this scene is shot, and the music that plays on the soundtrack, is a hysterical parody of Oliver Stone’s Nixon.
Calling Jerry When They Think He’s Gay
When Jerry is mistakenly outed as gay in a newspaper article in season 4’s “The Outing,” his parents call him from Florida to apologize for buying him the culottes that they believe turned him gay. Helen pleads, “They weren’t culottes, they were shorts,” but Morty begs to differ: “They were culottes! You bought them in the girls’ department.”
Helen says, “By mistake! By mistake, Jerry! I’m sorry!,” and Jerry assures them, “It has nothing to do with the culottes!” This phone call makes George realize that his parents will see the article and cries out, “Oh my God...my mother!!!,” before fleeing the apartment.
Helen Saying, “Hello, Newman.”
In the two-part episode “The Raincoats,” we learned that Helen Seinfeld hates Newman just as much as her son does. When Newman came over to snitch on Jerry for making out during Schindler’s List, Helen opened the door and – with the same intonation that Jerry says it – said, “Hello, Newman.”
It was never fully explained why Jerry didn’t like Newman, but it’s hardly confusing. Newman is a deceitful, manipulative, evil genius. There’s a good chance that no one liked Newman, and Jerry was the only one who was open about it.
“Jerry, If You Have Something To Do, We Could Just Sit Right Here And Read.”
After Jerry has spent some time on the road, he just wants some time alone with his girlfriend Rachel. They can’t meet up at her place, because she lives with her parents, and Jerry’s own parents have come to visit, leaving them with very limited options.
When Jerry says that his girlfriend was going to come over, Helen tells him, “Jerry, if you have something to do, we could just sit right here and read,” but he uncomfortably tells her that this probably wouldn’t work out.
Bringing Cereal To Jerry In Prison
The fictionalized Jerry Seinfeld’s entire life revolves around Superman and breakfast cereal. When he gets arrested in “The Finale” and his parents are packing to fly up to Latham, Massachusetts for the trial.
Helen packs pretty much an entire suitcase full of cereal boxes to give to Jerry. Morty objects to her bringing full boxes, saying she should instead take snack packs: “You got enough here for a life sentence!”
Morty Eating A Chip Ahoy
Morty Seinfeld is a big fan of Chips Ahoy! – who isn’t? – and when he opens a new sleeve to get a cookie, Helen tells him he should’ve taken a cookie from the sleeve of a different brand that was already open.
However, Morty addresses his mortality in his defense of his decision: “Look, I got a few good years left. If I want a Chip Ahoy, I’m having it.”
Trying To Pick Up A Check With No Wallet
Most parents will refuse to let their kids pick up a check in a restaurant. This is true of Morty Seinfeld in “The Wallet,” although the episode saw him lose his wallet in a doctor’s office, so he didn’t have any money to pay the check. Jerry insisted on paying, but Morty wouldn’t let him.
So, Jerry was curious to see how his father was going to pay the check without money. Morty promised the waiter that he could send them a check when he got back to Florida, but the waiter obviously wouldn’t have any of it.
Arguing About The Astronaut Pen
In the season 3 episode “The Pen,” one of Morty and Helen’s friends, Jack, comes over to their condo and shows off a pen he has that can write upside down. It’s the pen that astronauts use when they’re orbiting Earth.
Jerry says he’s always wanted a pen like that, and Jack offers him his own. After a little pushing and pulling, Jerry takes the pen. And as soon as Jack leaves, Helen asks him, “Why’d you take his pen?” This pen ends up destroying an entire friendship group.
Spending A Day With Elaine And Her Boyfriend
When Elaine starts dating Aaron, the close-talker, he insists on taking Jerry’s parents out for the day. This ends up giving Elaine mixed emotions; she can’t get mad, because her boyfriend’s just being nice, but she quickly gets sick of spending time with Morty and Helen.
They go to an art gallery, where Morty becomes convinced that Monet was near-sighted and painting without his glasses; they get a hansom cab ride through the park; they go out to dinner – when Morty gets back to Jerry’s apartment, he’s singing “I Could Have Danced All Night.”