The main characters of the "show about nothing" often found themselves treading a fine moral line, unsure of how to proceed. and at times callously crossing that line with little to no remorse.
The one thing they all had in common was that their selfish need for things to work out in their favor — even at the expense of others . All of the main characters in Seinfeld have done some terrible things, as "The Finale" showed so well, but just what are the worst crimes of the bunch?
Morty Seinfeld - Ripped customers off
Guilty of not much more than an unwavering support of their only son, the Seinfelds managed to stay relatively clean throughout the series. However, it could be argued that Morty’s behavior when he loses his wallet in the doctor’s office was rather poor, calling the physician a bum and a thief when the wallet had in fact been lost in Jerry’s couch.
A single line also leads us towards some genuinely bad behavior. During his brief tenure at the Peterman Catalogue, Morty says: "Cheap fabric and dim lighting. That’s how you move merchandise." This is tantamount to admitting he ripped off customers for the 48 years he was in the raincoat business. That’s a lot of disappointed and wet customers.
George Steinbrenner - Traded Costanza to Tyler Chicken
Yankees owner George Steinbrenner made some very unusual decisions during the run of Seinfeld, not least of which was to listen to Costanza on occasion. Steinbrenner wore Lou Gehrig’s match-worn pants, he threatened to move the team to New Jersey "just to upset people" and he fired countless numbers of players and staff.
However, one particularly nasty turn of events was when he traded George Constanza to Tyler Chicken in exchange for getting free food at Yankee Stadium. It's a harsh call, even though the trade does stack up as reasonably beneficial to the organization.
J. Peterman - Lied about sex, at a funeral
Far from the ideal boss, Peterman was always doing sketchy things like overloading others with work when one of his employees had a hearing impairment or jetting off to foreign countries with no warning and leaving the company in the hands of a woefully under-qualified Elaine without providing a support network.
But the most heinous thing Peterman did was claiming to have had sex with Suzie to a room full of people at her funeral. Sure, she didn’t exist, but doesn’t that just make the whole thing worse?
Uncle Leo - Unknown crime of passion
Most of Leo’s crimes are small: holding his nephew’s arm during every conversation, constantly boring others by discussing his son Jeffrey’s impressive accomplishments and getting Jerry into trouble by using watches and wallets he finds in the trash.
The worst thing that Uncle Leo has done is a bit of a mystery. All that is known is that it was a crime of passion. A crime that still has law enforcement interested in him, which becomes apparent when Jerry learns his uncle has been shoplifting from Brentano’s.
Frank Costanza - Festivus
The volcanic temper belonging to George’s father is displayed many times throughout the series and someone usually has to bear the brunt of it. It’s not just his family that he yells at either, once chastising Yankees boss George Steinbrenner when he should in fact have been grieving for his son, believed at the time to be dead.
However, one word can sum up the worst thing Frank did, especially from the point of view of his family: Festivus. Sure it may seem like a fun event from the outside, but essentially it was a holiday for him to air his grievances and fight with his family. It's a wonder George got out of his childhood alive.
Elaine - Ended an engagement due to a wrongful conviction and future baldness
Ms. Benes had many bosses throughout the years and she managed to cause significant trouble for most of them. Be it eating Peterman’s priceless cake, not giving Mr. Lippman his handkerchief and thereby bankrupting Pendant Publishing, or somehow managing to make Mr. Pitt look like Hitler.
But Elaine's poorest behavior has to be when she calls off her engagement to Kurt because he is sentenced to jail for a crime he didn’t commit and is likely to be bald by the time he is released. The callous manner in which she drops the engagement ring and hangs up the phone is brutally cold.
Jerry - Refused to give mouth-to-mouth
Where to start with Seinfeld himself? He mugged an old lady for a marble rye in the street. He made recommendations to a restauranteur that would see him run out of business, and then to top it all off Jerry inadvertently got him deported. He even encouraged Uncle Leo to open a package he thought may contain a bomb.
But perhaps standing above them all is the time he refused to give Ramon the pool boy mouth to mouth. He was prepared to see the admittedly annoying Ramon perish rather than lock lips with him.
Kramer - Burned down a cabin with a cigar
Kramer's two worst crimes both involved out-of-control fires. The first is when he accidentally knocked out the fireman who drove the back of the truck and took it upon himself to do the job, eventually leading to Leapin’ Larry’s store burning down.
But surely the absolute worse thing Kramer did was carelessly discard a lit cigar in a wood cabin that would see it burn down in front of Susan’s eyes. Then he had the audacity to ask for more cigars when he subsequently ran out. Oh boy.
Newman - Almost killed a dog
A dark character at the best of times, Newman had malevolence in spades. He once genuinely considered eating Kramer, his best friend, because he reminded him of a deliciously basted chicken, and he even bedded Kramer’s mother Babs.
But when it comes to true evil, not only was he willing to kill a dog that was causing Elaine sleeping difficulties, he was visibly disappointed when it became clear he was not going to be able to murder the dog himself. Jerry has looked into Newman’s eyes and seen pure evil; that dog almost did too.
George - Accidentally killed his fiancee and showed "restrained joy" about it
The list of George's questionable behavior is so long that it can be particularly hard to narrow it down. It could be his decision to make use of a handicapped parking spot, inadvertently popping the bubble boy, or pushing children and the elderly out of the way amidst his escape from a fire; but there is really only one thing that can make this list.
He killed his fiancee. While it could be argued it was accidental, in that he didn’t know the incredibly cheap wedding invitations he ordered would have toxic glue on the envelopes, it is certainly true that he was happy with the outcome. "Restrained joy" as the doctor would later describe it. The ensuing fan outrage would see George punished in the following season, forced to chair a committee spending the money that would have been his had Susan lived.