Schitt's Creek wasn't short on its share of burns from its characters, especially Moira. If she doesn't approve of something or wants something, she doesn't hide her distaste or desire. Sometimes she says burns without realizing they're a burn in the first place, especially to her family or Jocelyn.
Moira's extensive vocabulary and unusual insults also make up a large part of her shadiest burns, which make them that much more memorable. While brutal, it also shows that whether she's hacking on her husband or judging the town of Schitt's Creek, Moira can be witty and sharp-tongued at a moment's notice, which isn't an easy feat.
"And Now I Know How It Feels To Be Utterly Helpless, Like You And Your Sister."
After a disastrous attempt at trying to cook a family dinner, David and Moira share a moment afterwards in which Moira confesses to her son that she's lost the life skills she once had and that she failed to teach her children those skills. David feels differently, in that he and Alexis aren't as helpless as Moira believes them to be, but it is what it is. Moira may have felt this way in Season 2, but by the end of the series, Moira surely felt differently about her children given how far they had come, and would probably retract this particular burn.
"That's The Heartbreaking Part. You Were So Blissfully Unaware."
Moira says the above quote as she, Johnny, and David are dropping off Alexis at the high school. Moira advises her daughter to not let anyone push her around, as she doesn't want to "relive that bullying nightmare." David insists it wasn't that bad, but Moira's above quote clearly states that she believes otherwise. If David's exasperated sigh in response is anything to go by, Moira remembers it differently and it will always annoy David. Why would she want him to think it was worse than it was, anyway? It demeans her son more that she doesn't believe him than the bullying probably did.
"I Would Be Pleased To RSVP As...Pending."
Twyla excitedly invites the Jazzagals for her upcoming murder mystery party, but no one seems particularly excited. That includes Moira, who says the above quote in regards to her attendance, not even willing to give it a chance. However, Moira, unfortunately, mentioned she had plans on Saturday, leaving her Friday, the day of the party, open.
It's obvious that she's trying to get out of attending. However, she feels guilty when she finds out no one plans to attend Twyla's party, and she guilt trips both Jocelyn and David into going, and then doesn't show up herself, considering her work done. It's just another day in the life of Moira Rose.
"Small Minds Don't Reach For The Stars."
Moira is hurt that Jocelyn hasn't reached out to her in regards to joining the town's singing group, the Jazzagals. However, she doesn't do the best job securing a position with them. She's snobbish to Twyla, and later, she says the above quote to Jocelyn, pretty much insulting the entire singing group, especially Jocelyn, since she founded it. Jocelyn, however, takes the insult in stride and adds Moira to the group anyway as she's a good person. Moira, however, should've given them more credit, as it was something the girls liked to do for fun and they had gotten to sing at Central Park in New York City, so Moira shouldn't have underestimated their talent.
"Be Careful John, Lest You Suffer Vertigo From The Dizzying Heights Of Your Moral Ground."
Moira isn't pleased with her husband when he tells her that they can't stay in the Presidential Suite in Season 6. Johnny had just finished telling Roland and Jocelyn that they couldn't stay there either, and Moira thought he was working with her to throw them off from wanting the room so she and Johnny could have it for themselves. Moira's terse but straight-to-the-point quote is quite a burn, especially since it was thrown at Johnny.
"This Place Is Almost Charming. Very Rustic Cottage. I Was Half-Expecting Early Unabomber."
Roland and Jocelyn were kind enough to offer their cabin to Johnny and Moira so they could have some privacy away from David and Alexis in the first season. However, Moira doesn't think too highly of Roland and Jocelyn's taste in decoration, or taste in anything, really.
Though the above quote is a burn in regards to what she expected of their cabin, it's actually also a compliment from her given it exceeded her expectations. Ironically, she and Johnny were in the wrong cabin the entire time, so she was judging someone she didn't even know, which isn't unusual for her.
"As Much As I Would Love To Contribute To The Population Growth Of This Town By Way Of Teen Pregnancies, I Must Decline."
Moira isn't exactly thrilled at the fact that a flower garden in Schitt's Creek is going to be named after her. Roland tries to get her excited about the idea of having something named after her in town, and mentions Bob's bench and Ronnie's rec center, adding that the latter is a "major hook up spot for the kids," with Bob adding that the bench is as well. This only gets Moira to like the idea of the flower garden even less, and she says the above quote, completely judging the town's indiscretions.
"David, Stop Acting Like A Disgruntled Pelican."
Fans certainly remember this particular Moira quote. David is understandably embarrassed to have his mother walk in on his "afternoon delight," and his humiliation increases when both Johnny and Alexis drop in as well. However, Moira's little burn in regards to David's embarrassed behavior is an unusual insult; if David's face is anything to go by, even he was incredulous at his mother's choice of words.
"So Now Until I Get In The Shower I'm Stuck Looking Like Every Other Inmate In This Godforsaken Prison."
Moira isn't a fan of Schitt's Creek, especially in the first season when she's still trying to adjust from one lifestyle to another after losing everything. Jocelyn decides to take her out for a spa day to cheer up a stressed Moira, and Moira comes back with a hairstyle looking exactly like Jocelyn's.
She hates it, but because it was Jocelyn's treat, she keeps the hairstyle and says the above quote to Johnny. Jocelyn ultimately sees through it, but is sympathetic, understanding Moira's trouble adjusting. Still, Moira's quote was pretty brutal in regards to the town's way of life and her perspective of it.
"How Mercurial Is Life? We All Imagine Being Carried From The Ashes By The Goddess Artemis, And Here I Get A Balatron From Barnum And Bailey."
Moira is saved from certain death by Roland, who frees her from the closet she's been cooped up in and gets her out of the smoky motel. However, her rescuer isn't exactly what she imagined for herself; nor was she prepared to die that day, and in that particular way. She's calling Roland a buffoon, as it is a synonym of balatron, and referencing the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus in this particular quote, and fortunately for him, he didn't know what it meant, but he thought it didn't sound good. He would be right in that instance and was better off not knowing the depth of the insult.