How much of a narcissistic sociopath is Saved By The Bell's Zack Morris? In the episode, “Rockumentary,” Zack dreams about rock superstardom with all of his friends and then a big fallout so that he can achieve singles stardom. Even when he’s dreaming, he’s screwing over his friends to achieve fame and fortune. Like the web series has stated countless times, “Zack Morris Is Trash.”
Whether it’s a get rich quick scheme, stalking his girlfriend, or gritting a bunch of kids out of their money, here are 10 Of The Worst Things Zack Morris Has Ever Done. In the real world, Morris would be in and out jail his entire life until finally some righteous judge would do the world a favor and put him away for life.
Faked Dying To Meet A Pop Star
When pop megastar, Stevie comes to Bayside to perform for the school, Zack decides it's a good idea to bet his friend Nikki that he could land a kiss from the superstar. She accepts and makes it interesting, because if Zack fails miserably, he’ll be doing Nikki’s laundry.
Morris hatches his plan into action, tugging at Stevie’s heartstrings. Zack convinces her that he’s dying! Once Miss Bliss catches the wind, she knows exactly what Zack’s up to and calls him out on his completely wrong behavior.
Pimped Out Lisa...TWICE
Once shopaholic Lisa confesses her addiction and the fact that she ran up her credit card bill - its Zack to the rescue! Nope, Zack isn’t actually being altruistic at all. His idea of help is charging anyone and everyone the chance to smooch Lisa for a whole dollar.
If that’s not worse enough, he also tries to sell Lisa’s clothes. You’d think she would have learned not to listen to Zack at all but several years later, he bribes her to go on a date with Jesse’s step-brother, just so that he can frame Eric for driving Belding’s car, which Lisa accidentally crashes.
Used Teen Advice Line For A Date
According to Tori, one of the most important rules of running a Teen Advice Hotline is that you don’t meet the person, in person! It defeats the purpose of an ANONYMOUS Teen Line. However, Melissa sounds far too cute for Zack to pass up the opportunity to get her last name, address, and ask her out to the Max.
If breaking every rule in the book to be a creep wasn’t terrible enough, the blond idiot nearly recoils in fear when he realizes that Melissa is in a wheelchair.
Kissed His Best Friend’s Mega Crush
Screech loved Lisa, like completely loved her, adored her, heart-skipped-several-beats for her. But Lisa never once took advantage of this affection and emphatically made it know how gross of a creeper she thought Screech really was.
She is free to date whoever she chooses, but when she batted her eyes and feminine wiles at Zack, the louse should have kept his hands off of her. Instead, he leaned in too, not caring one bit what his devoted best friend would do or how he would feel.
Convinced Bayside Slater Was Dying
Once Slater came to Bayside, Zack felt completely outmatched. Slater was nicer, stronger, and who could resist his dimples? Scrawny Zack wouldn’t allow brawny Slater to come anywhere near sniffing distance of Kelly, so he concocted one of his convoluted schemes.
In order to get rid of Slater, who finally felt at home at Bayside, Zack convinced all of Bayside that he was sick and dying and the only way to cure him was some sort of experimental treatment that was only available in Hawaii.
Created An Escort Service
Zack is the kind of friend we all had in High School that thinks of all kinds of absurd get-rich-quick schemes. But he actually acts upon his idiotic impulses! Case in point, convincing everyone on the Yearbook Committee that he was responsible and could make an awesome video yearbook.
The simple enough idea in Zack’s hands is pretty terrible. While he was producing the yearbook, he also had Screech create a dating tape for lonely dudes to try and get girls.
Ignored His Best Friend’s Speed Addiction
After convincing Screech to infiltrate the girls’ locker room and secretly tape them singing, he then cons and hustles them into becoming their own pop group. Hot Sundae is taking off, but at the expense of Jesse’s desire and compulsion to be the best and not let anyone down.
She gets addicted to caffeine pills and even though Slater tries to be a good friend and help her, Jesse blows him off. So, he tells Zack, who also doesn’t want to hear it since the groups will be playing at the Max. He finally takes Slater’s advice, but it’s already too late - Jesse’s so excited and so scared.
Orchestrated A Car Accident
Getting your driver’s license is one of life’s big rites of passage. When Zack realizes that Slater is not only a better driver, but he’ll be getting his license long before Zack, who - naturally - is slacking off in Driver’s Ed he immediately thinks of a wild idea.
He’s going to rig the Driver’s Ed golf cart to malfunction while Slater’s driving, so he’ll get into an accident and flunk Driver’s Ed. Morris didn’t count on Kelly jumping in the Golf Cart for a ride to class and he tries to rip her out of a moving vehicle before Slater crashes.
Posed As A College Professor
After skating by his entire High School career, perhaps Zack might clean up his act and buckle down in college. But slackers gotta slack, right? As his Anthropology Professor Lasky tried to explain this to him, he had to, unfortunately, leave Zack alone in his office.
A beautiful fan of Lasky’s comes in, which means Zack is going to do something dumb and perhaps criminal. Something to the effect of impersonating Lasky and dating the girl.
Framed Slater For A Hate Crime
Lisa enters a pageant to become Miss High School California and rejects Zack’s help. He and Slater bet 50$ that Zack can beat Lisa with anyone. Slater picks Screech. Rather than back down over 50$, Zack convinces Screech he can win.
But the steal grassroots campaign began after Screech’s robot Kevin accidentally socks Screech in the face. Zack decides to exploit this as if Slater decked him to gain sympathy votes.