The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is, without a doubt, one of the most successful games of all time. Considering that Bethesda has taken to putting it on nearly every single device that has a screen, the world is far from seeing the last of one of the greatest fantasy RPGs of all time.
Even if Bethesda was content with cutting their constant stream of guaranteed cash, players would (and already have), extended the games longevity through the use of intricate and expertly crafted mods.
With the immersive gameplay that seemingly takes over every life that it touches, there are still a fair amount of meme worthy situations and fodder that litter the game to the point of being absurd. In addition, it is a Bethesda game; meaning that hilarious glitches and some minute lapses in logic are going to take place, ripe for the meme picking.
While some of these may seem a bit obvious after your 600th hour of playtime, there are bound to be a few meme worthy moments that even the most die hard Dovahkiin wandered right by.
So make sure to brew a few potions, smith some iron daggers, and make sure that Lydia is carrying all of your useless bits and bobs before we set off on this epic quest, because here are the 15 Savage Skyrim Memes That Will Hit You Like An Arrow To The Knee.
15. That’s Not How Horses Work
Horses have been a useful tool in the Elder Scrolls franchise since their introduction. From over priced armor DLC to making travel a tiny bit faster, they’re often left to the wayside when carriages and fast traveling are available for a few Septims or with the click of a way point.
However, horses have a secret advantage in the land of Skyrim: they completely ignore the laws of physics. It isn’t hard to find screenshots of horses standing at 90 degree angles with the Dragonborn perched on their backs, both leisurely taking in the view while the universe rips itself apart as the laws of physics are disregarded.
This is obviously this rider’s first trip outside after putting a few too many hundred hours into his Skyrim adventure; that horse is very much subject to the rules of physics, as evidenced by its panicked expression.
14. About As Easy As Strolling Into Mordor
This is easily one of the truest statements in all of gaming: Skyrim simply refuses to be finished. The game features a lengthy main quest, an ungodly amount of side quests and dungeons to explored, not to mention the DLC and user made mods.
Even if a gamer put in the incalculable number of hours required to complete all of the content in Skyrim, there isn’t a whole lot that’ll keep them away forever.
The allure of the Nord’s homeland is irresistible even years after “completing” Skyrim for the first time, as most gamers find themselves hearing the first few opening bars of the theme song as the menu pops up, seemingly against their will.
13. A Hero’s Appetite
For the group of Dragonborn who actually use their potions for their intended purposes– as opposed to hoarding them like some type of kleptomaniac– running low on health and potions when being pursued by an unrelenting foe can be a pulse quickening experience.
Dying in Skyrim usually doesn’t matter too much, as quick saves and the like have made death more of an inconvenience than an actual set back. Still, having to stare at a loading screen for fifteen seconds is unbearable, especially when the fight boils down to the last few blows.
For those who have run out of potions, it makes complete sense to jam their mouth with as much food as possible, from massive wheels of goat cheese to 147 heads of cabbage, anything is worth it to keep the fight going.
12. Serious Adventuring PTSD
We imagine that every therapy session looks something like this for the guards of Skyrim– could you imagine having your entire adventuring career ended by a simple arrow to the knee?
With the amount of times that guards will mention this to Dragonborn in passing shows that they’ve never really come to terms with their ill luck, and that maybe what they all really need is a little bit of time in a psychiatrist’s office.
It’s hilarious that the therapist has to use a doll (dressed up as a guard no less), in order for the guard to even be able to express the cause of all of his trauma.
11. Loot Logic
Sometimes, adventurers will open a chest or search a fallen enemy and find a few pieces of loot that make sense. For example, a piece of enchanted armor on a bandit leader, a powerful spell scroll on a necromancer, or alchemy ingredients from fallen beasts that you’ll sell for a ridiculous profit at the next main town you venture into after you make them into poison.
However, sometimes, the game throws a bit of a curveball by putting loot where it simply doesn’t belong. A resurrected skeleton that is carrying a hand full of Septims doesn’t make much sense– where would it be keeping them? It already lost it’s coin purse when it turned into an undead skeletal warrior.
The same goes for the loot in chests. Much like the meme above, it’s possible to find all sorts of completely outlandish things that have no business being in a locked wooden crate up for grabs.
10. Not The Most Astute Security
Sneaking and stealth can be a big part of the Skyrim experience if gamers choose to use it; joining the Dark Brotherhood or Thieve’s Guild requires the Dragonborn to slink through the shadows in search of their next mark.
Throughout the course of sneaking, it’s possible to pass undetected through entire portions of a dungeon or keep, but it’s seldom as fun as letting a few arrows fly at the unlucky guards or bandits patrolling the grounds.
It’s around this time that adventurers might notice that the guards in Skyrim can be a little dense, to put it politely.
Having one of your fellow compatriots be cut down by a shadowy assassin that gets lost in the darkness as you give chase is one thing, but walking around with a back full of arrows and surmising that it must have just been the wind is quite another.
9. A Potion A Day…
A strange thing happens to most gamers when they start playing an Elder Scrolls game: they often pick up a variety of potions that aid in the restoration of health, stamina, and magic that would give them an edge when they’re suffering in a particularly difficult battle, yet they’ll never use one.
There are a variety of ways that players can heal themselves in the course of their adventure across the Nord’s homeland; eating food, spells, and resting can all restore precious health that can be swiped away in seconds by a pissed off frost troll.
However, for some reason most gamers will breeze right by their potions section, thinking that there will be a more suitable encounter to use the 53 restore minor healths they’ve been carrying since they threw a bucket over the trader’s head in Riverwood.
8. Candles Do Melt
In the course of hopping up the sides of mountains at impossible angles and calling Dwemer “milk drinkers,” adventurers may find themselves breaking into some pretty old places. Places that townspeople have told you about, where no one has visited since the time of the original dragons.
Well, as some detail-oriented gamers noticed while exploring these areas, all the candles and torches are still lit, burning as brightly as they had been hundreds of years ago.
Candles melt and torches burn out to the point of extinguishing, so what gives? Either Draugr are exceptionally good housekeepers, it’s magic, or they don’t make candles like they used to. However, considering the fact that it’s Skyrim, we’re going to go with magic.
7. Do You Have Any Skooma?
The Khajiit are anthropomorphic cat people that hail from the sun bleached deserts of Elsweyr. They have a spotty reputation with the Nords of Skyrim due to their affinity for being thieves and assassins. Also the whole “not being Nords” thing makes them a pretty easy target.
Roving bands of Khajiit can usually be found in Skyrim camped outside of the main cities’ front gates, offering training in the stealthy arts and goods for the curious adventurer.
What stands out most among players isn’t that the Khajiits assumed seedy profession, but instead the way that they talk. Speaking with a thick accent and in backwards half riddles, Khajiit are most identifiable by the tag line in the meme above, usually offering basic wares at outrageous prices (alright, so maybe the spotty reputation is occasionally warranted).
6. When Skyrim Starts To Bleed Into Real Life
Any gamer who has put a fair percentage of their life into the virtual world of Skyrim can tell you that, after especially long play sessions or just playing the game for a long time, the game can start to bleed into reality in essentially every facet of existence.
Like the meme above, a simple gardening tool could immediately bring about visions of the dragon claw keys used to open the game’s many ring based door locks.
While some gamers may wish that real life was a bit more like Skyrim, we doubt that very many people would be comfortable with Arognians and Khajiit just walking around and offering you moon sugar– or skeletons attacking you in abandoned crypts.
5. The Jarls Are All Part Of The Illuminati
Like most things in life, there’s no shortage of people who look a little too far into things, to the point where they start to make disturbing sense. Gamers are no different– every popular game seems to have a shadowy corner of conspiracy theorists that think a bit outside the box when it comes to their favorite titles.
Considering that one of the most famous lines from the game deals with a guard’s adventuring career being ended prematurely due to an arrow to the knee, this one doesn’t seem too far fetched.
It’s important to take into account that multiple guards mention this as the reason why they joined the force, and perhaps the rabbit hole goes a lot deeper than many gamers originally thought. Now just to keep an eye out for the shadowy, government sponsored band of knee snipers and your adventuring should be just fine.
4. The Way Real Adventurers Get Around
The roads of Skyrim are a really convenient way to get around– they’re relatively safe, paved paths that offer a beautiful stroll through the Nord’s homeland. Adventurer’s may run into a wolf or the odd highwayman, but aside from a few pestering foes, the roads are a great way to get around.
Unless you’re a real adventurer, that is. Every true Dovahkiin knows that the best way to get to a waypoint is to line it up on your compass and proceed in a straight path towards it, letting nothing stop your advance.
This is doubly true when it comes to mountains– screw looking for a path that would provide a convenient way to your objective, spam that jump button and glitch your way to the top, it’s really the only way through.
3. A Septim In The Hand Is Worth A Merchant In The Basket
Probably the most useful exploit ever found in the world of Skyrim, thieving just got a whole lot easier for any sticky fingered Dragonborn who may have their eyes on a particular piece of merchandise.
Is that enchanted iron sword a little too pricey? Toss a basket over the merchant’s head. Want to lift those few loose Septims that have been inexplicably left on the counter? Toss a basket over the merchant’s dome and help yourself.
Essentially, anything sitting out on the store’s shelves can be lifted without so much as a worry as long as that basket obscures the merchant’s view. While it can be a bit tricky to place the basket just so, it’s worth it for the comical value, let alone the actual value of the merchandise you steal.
2. Tipping The Scales
Probably the best example of “Skyrim logic is that the weights for some items are completely wonky, as demonstrated by the above meme.
It made perfect sense to someone over at Bethesda to make two feather quills weigh exactly as much as an ingot of steel. An ingot of steel is not going to be light in any sense of the word, certainly not to the point that carrying a solid bar of it is going to feel the same as carrying two feather pens.
This is obviously a design choice; smithing wouldn’t be very viable if you had to clear out your inventory to lug a few ingots back and forth. Still, it seems a little ridiculous when you think about a solid block of metal weighing as much as feathers in any measure.
1. We Built This City! We Built This City On Crazy Mods!
As seen in the meme above, not all versions of Skyrim are created equal, especially when it comes to the gargantuan library of mods available for the game on PC.
While the Skyrim: Legendary Edition that appeared on consoles does have a limited mod function, it’s nothing compared to the complete absurdity of what can be accomplished with PC mods.
From every dragon being replaced with flying Macho Man Randy Savages to character creation sliders and improved photorealistic graphical updates, there are no boundaries when it comes to the Skyrim mod community.
The addition of so many intricate mods has made Skyrim a never ending experience, a game that will forever be enriched by fire spewing Thomas The Tank Engines and large-chested Dragonborn accompanied by an eerily realistic Battletoads companion.
Do you know of any other hilarious Skyrim memes that will make us split our sides? Let us know in the comment section!
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