Samantha Jones is the oldest and wisest of the four main women on Sex and the City. While she’s not perfect, she does have a strong understanding of many topics that confuse the other girls, from sex to self-confidence. Although a lot of what Samantha says is outrageous and hilarious, there are quite a few seeds of wisdom that we can learn from her.
When it comes to self-confidence, letting go of other people’s opinions, and independence instead of waiting for a prince to come to the rescue, Samantha knows exactly what’s up.
Updated Nov 5th, 2021 by Rose Graceling-Moore: Sex and the City is returning to the small screen with the revival And Just Like That... - but Samantha Jones will not be a part of it. After some well-publicized disagreements with her co-star, Kim Cattrall has declined to revisit her gloriously stylish PR queen for the new show, so fans simply have to keep enjoying her classic quotes from the original series and Sex and the City movie.
“Listen To Me. The Right Guy Is An Illusion. Start Living Your Lives.”
Samantha always keeps the other girls in check when they act needy or helpless. And she’s been battling the damsel in distress attitude since the very first episode when she gave them this wonderful piece of advice.
In the end, the other three women did find guys who are right for them. However, that doesn’t mean Samantha’s advice is any less true. Whether he’s out there or not, sitting on the sidelines and waiting for him is just a waste of time. Samantha knows that life is short, and should be enjoyed whether there's a partner involved or not.
Sweetheart, you can’t go listening to every f**king little voice that runs through your head. You’ll go nuts.
Samantha and Charlotte may seem like polar opposites - but that often means that they can learn something from each other. In this season 2 quote, Charlotte is talking about the little voice in her head that says 'mate for life' (or so she claims), and Samantha is reminding her that just because she has that little voice, it doesn't mean she should act on it!
Samantha knows that listening to every anxiety or whim is not the best recipe for happiness, and that a lot of her self-confidence comes from breaking down some of the old stories she might have and doing what she wants to.
“If I Worried What Every B**** In New York Was Saying About Me, I’d Never Leave The House.”
One of the reasons Samantha is so admirable is because she really doesn’t care what people think of her. She does and says whatever she wants without worrying about how others will react, which reinforces how liberated she is. She does, however, learn some lessons about balancing this with being considerate throughout the series, too.
With this quote, Samantha lets Carrie know that she doesn’t worry what anyone’s saying about her and Carrie shouldn’t worry about it either. It's definitely a lesson that Carrie needs to learn, as she's much more sensitive about other people's opinions.
"You have a lot of nerve telling me to get a wax."
Samantha is the epitome of body positive, and is someone who absolutely knows her worth - including not to take any flak from a man on how her body looks. In this quote, she turns the tables on a partner who suggests she get a wax by pointing out that he has plenty of body hair himself!
This was an especially important quote at the time, because while keeping body hair has become increasingly more socially accepted, at the time, it was incredibly rare. Sadly, though, Samantha walks back on this a little with her friends in the first movie, when she tells Miranda to get a wax herself.
“I Will Not Be Judged By You Or Society.”
After Carrie catches her engaged in a sexual act with a delivery guy at work, Samantha has to defend herself from Carrie’s judgment. She stands up for women who are slut-shamed with these powerful words, insisting that she’s not going to stop being herself just because some people don’t approve.
Of course, Samantha later does realize how uncomfortable the situation was for her friend when she has a similar experience herself, giving her some empathy to temper her strength. Carrie and the other women do unfairly shame and judge Samantha at various times during the show’s run, but she never lets it get to her for very long.
“The Test Of A Good Relationship Is: Are You Like This *Smiles* Or Like This *Frowns*?”
This relationship advice from Samantha is simple but true. Love can be so confusing for so many reasons, but this quote makes everything very easy to understand. Ultimately, happiness is the most important thing. If a relationship doesn’t make the people in it happy, then there’s not much point to it.
Especially in this series, where the women are often picking apart the pros and cons of their relationships, wondering how much compromise is too much, and trying to find the best balance they can, Samantha gets right to the heart of it all. This ability to get right to the point is definitely a hallmark of Samantha's character throughout the show.
"You know marriage doesn’t guarantee a happy ending, just an ending.”
Most of the women in Sex and the City can't wait to get married - Charlotte is clearly the most eager, but Carrie and Miranda end up married too - and Samantha has no problem with challenging the assumption that this is the best plan. While Samantha's suggestion that is just means 'an ending' can be seen as a bit too negative, it's true - it marks an end of single life (at least, as long as the marriage lasts!).
Whether someone wants marriage or not, though, Samantha makes a good point. The future of a relationship, happy or not, depends on the two people involved, not whether they walked down the aisle.
“F*** Me Badly Once, Shame On You. F*** Me Badly Twice, Shame On Me.”
Samantha has a reputation amongst the girls (and the rest of New York) for being a guru when it comes to sex. She always gives the best advice when it comes to this topic, and this guidance that she gives Carrie is no different.
Of course, in this context, Samantha is referring to sex, but the advice also applies to life in general. Samantha isn't someone to repeat her mistakes multiple times, and instead tries to learn from them immediately... although it doesn't always work out that way, and there are certainly a few times in the series she could take her own advice.
“I Am Fifty F****** Two And I Will Rock This Dress.”
In many ways, Samantha is the best role model out of all the Sex and the City women. One of the things that makes her such an idol for so many people is her self-confidence. In a world where so many people put themselves down and struggle with insecurity, Samantha walks around saying things like this.
She says this to a shop assistant when the girl suggests that the dress Samantha wears is too young for her. But as usual, Samantha doesn’t let the opinions of the girl, or society, get in the way of what she wants to do (or wear).
“Men aren’t that complicated. They’re kind of like plants.”
When most of her friends are spending brunch after brunch debating what the slightest nuances or behaviors mean when it comes to men, this underrated moment shows Samantha takes a much simpler view of things. It's a fantastic line, not just because it epitomizes Samantha's attitude completely, but because as usual, she has a point.
Arguably, most people aren't that complicated - and when someone is tying themselves in knots trying to figure out why they are acting a certain way, the simplest answer is usually right. In fact, this is the basis for the best selling book written by some of the Sex and the City writers - 'He's Just Not That Into You' (which later became a movie itself).
“As You Know, I Have Always Loved My Body Just The Way It Is.”
Anytime Samantha makes a comment that shows how much she loves her body, the audience loves her for it. The world needs more Samanthas to look up to, encouraging women to accept themselves for who they are through quotes like this.
Now, Samantha does make this comment right before announcing that she has decided to undergo breast enhancement surgery, but following a cancer diagnosis, she comes to realize that she loves her whole body the way it is.
“A Guy Gets Angry In A Meeting, He’s A Pistol. A Woman, She’s Emotional.”
Some Samantha quotes are inspiring, while others are incisive and reflect the state of the world. This is one of those nuggets of truth that highlights the inequality faced by women in society in general, but especially in the workplace.
After Richard has hesitations about hiring her because she’s a woman, Samantha makes the observation that men can get away with being emotional at work while women are shamed for it.
“I Love You, But I Love Me More.”
This has to be one of the most iconic Samantha quotes of all time. Samantha ends the series in a serious relationship with Smith, but at the end of the first movie, she realizes that she’s happier on her own. Even though she loves Smith, she ultimately loves herself more and wants to work on the relationship she has with herself.
Again, this quote shows how much Samantha values self-love and self-care. It also highlights how important it is to love yourself, and how the foundations of any relationship will fall apart if self-love is not practiced.
"His Problem is he's an assh*le"
Samantha does not mince words - and yet again, her bluntness beautifully cuts through the way that her friends think about men. Rather than buying into the idea that there is a deep and meaningful reason for someone's behavior, or that one of her friends did something to warrant it, she points out that some people are just... not nice!
Samantha doesn't have time to waste on figuring out the backgrounds and inner struggles of the people around her - she simply expects people to live up to her standards, and if they don't, they are history. It's simple, clear, and lets her live her best life.
“Men, Babies, Doesn’t Matter. We’re Soulmates.”
Sex and the City is a show about love and relationships. But by the second movie, it’s abundantly clear that the love between friends is just as important as romantic love. Samantha never dumps her friends for men and she tells them why in Abu Dhabi when she rejects a date with a handsome stranger in favor of spending time with the girls.
During the series, the girls agree that they’re soulmates, regardless of what else is going on in their lives. And this quote shows that Samantha holds them to their promise.