Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte inspired audiences to find their own tight-knit band of friends in Sex and the City. In retrospect, while, there are definitely some fine moments between the quad, there are also some problematic ones. Peeling back the layers of their dynamic, some of these toxic instances come from none other than the show's central character, Carrie Bradshaw.
Since fans are revisiting reruns in anticipation of the revival And Just Like That..., now is the ideal occasion to see where Carrie fails and triumphs as a friend.
Best: Comforting Miranda After Her Mother Died
In season 4, Sex and the City takes a serious turn when Miranda’s mother unexpectedly passes away. To show their support, Carrie, Charlotte and Samantha travel to Philadelphia to attend the funeral. In a display of true love and compassion, Carrie accompanies Miranda down the aisle as the funeral procession exits the church.
This is one of the most powerful and emotionally heavy moments in the series. It also cements Carrie’s and Miranda’s especially close bond and foreshadows their reliance on each other later on in the season when Miranda becomes pregnant.
Worst: Ditching Miranda for Big
One of Carrie’s shortcomings is that she expects her friends to always understand and support her actions. When she ditches plans with Miranda for dinner of fresh veal with Big, it strikes a major blow to their dynamic. Miranda sums it up best when she calls out Carrie for blowing her “off for a piece of politically incorrect meat” and shows her so-called friend that her priorities are a little mixed up.
Carrie’s lucky that this example of poor friend behavior has a happy ending a few moments later, when a stood up Miranda meets her future husband, Steve.
Best: Taking Care of Big
Big breaks the startling news that he needs surgery, triggering an emotional and tear-filled reaction from Carrie. Post-op, Nurse Carrie reports for duty by showing up to his hotel room in a candy striper costume with a bag of games to help bring some fun to his recovery.
For once, Carrie’s interaction with Big is platonic and negates any sense of lingering feelings. It’s simply an act of maturity and character development on Carrie’s part and shows that the two could be great friends if they really wanted to.
Worst: Expecting Money From Charlotte
After breaking off their doomed engagement, Carrie gets a rude awakening when Aidan serves her with legal papers forcing her to either evict her apartment or buy it from him. Strapped for cash, Miranda, Samantha and even Big offer to give her money to help her but when Charlotte stays mum, Carrie confronts her.
In the end, Charlotte offers up her old and pricey engagement ring to cover Carrie’s down payment. Even though things work out, it’s pretty narcissistic of Carrie to assume and expect her friends to help keep her financially afloat.
Best: Standing Up For Her Friends
If there’s one thing that Carrie does right, it’s standing up for her friends during their most vulnerable moments. During a weekend trip to Atlantic City, Miranda is body-shamed by a drunken gambler when Carrie jumps in. And after Charlotte is dismissed by a love and dating expert during a seminar, Carrie defends her.
Sure, Bradshaw has a lot of shortcomings and can be self-centered but she knows when to step in and act as a line of defense for her pals.
Worst: Sending Aidan To Help Miranda
When Miranda throws her neck out after taking a shower, she calls on Carrie. In a time crunch due to a meeting with her editor, Aidan volunteers to go. It’s a nice and sweet gesture on Aidan’s part but Carrie also could have called up someone closer to Miranda, like Charlotte or Samantha. This puts a naked and injured Miranda in an even more uncomfortable position. Worst of all, Carrie never even called back to give her a heads up about the change of plans.
The next day, Carrie arrives at Miranda’s apartment with bagels and complaints about her boyfriend which doesn’t sit well with her neck-braced friend. While one can appreciate the joy of free food, this is one peace offering that’s underbaked.
Best: Leaving Big For Brady's Birth
At the end of season 4, Big reveals to Carrie that he’s moving across the country to Napa, California. To make the most of their limited time, they plan one last outing together to bid adieu to both New York and each other. Their date is interrupted when Carrie receives a call that Miranda is in labor. Without hesitation, Carrie bolts from their romantic horse drawn carriage ride and makes it in time to witness Brady’s birth.
Although she never actually gets to say goodbye to Big, Carrie knows that some occasions are worth dropping everything for.
Worst: Excluding Stanford
In an attempt to introduce her friends to her newest beau, Aleksandr Petrovsky, Carrie arranges to have them all come over for drinks. She asks Samantha and Miranda right in front of her other best friend, Stanford, but doesn’t extend the invite to him and even goes as far as to tell him that it’s a “girls only” occasion.
This isn’t the first time Ms. Bradshaw has mistreated Stanford and makes their dynamic one of the most problematic in the series. Here’s hoping that when the revival hits the small screen, that Carrie will be working on becoming a practicing ally of the LGBTQ+ community and an overall better friend to Stanford.
Best: Supporting Miranda's Choice
When Miranda is surprised to discover she’s pregnant, she confines in the one person she knows she can turn to: Carrie. Miranda weighs her options and decides to end the pregnancy, Carrie accompanies her to her appointment.
Carrie also tries to mediate the tension between Miranda and Charlotte, who is angered by her friend’s unexpected conception. More importantly, when Miranda changes her mind and chooses to proceed with the pregnancy, Carrie continues to offer her support without conditions or judgement.
Worst: Shaming Samantha
This is not so much a moment but a series of instances when Carrie, a sex columnist nonetheless, shames her BFF Samantha, for her sexuality. Charlotte and Miranda are also guilty of jumping on the bandwagon of slut-shaming. These moments become more and more cringe as the years pass by since the series premiered in 1998.
Despite her friends' harsh opinions, Samantha Jones is an icon and proves that one should never make apologies or excuses for they are.