While the reboot of Saints Row has taken a critical drubbing for its abundance of gameplay glitches and countless technical bugs since its August 2022 release, one thing everyone can agree on is how cool the weapon modification features are for players to explore. With the game's various customizable weapon options, players can alter the visual appearance by changing the material, color, surface, patterns, decals, power upgrades, and signature abilities to their liking.
Whether it's melee weapons, pistols, assault rifles, and/or big-gun launchers, the best weapon customizations in Saints Row fuse humorous novelty with high fashion and effective functionality.
Smelterville Slugger Cactus Bat
The most badass melee weapon to use in Saints Row is the Smelterville Slugger, a wooden baseball covered in chains and nails that resembles Negan's weapon of choice in The Walking Dead. Players can modify the spiked bat with several colors, patterns, and materials, including diamonds, bricks, and even lava, all of which are worthy options.
However, with the Cactus Bat option, the Smelterville Slugger completely alters its appearance to resemble a three-pronged desert cactus adorned with spikes and pretty flower bloom at the tip to lull enemies into a phony sense of safety. Beyond the amusing novelty, the weapon can theoretically deal thrice as much damage as the Slugger's original form. Players can unlock the Cactus Bat by completing the KAKTS Radio Adventure.
Pugnus Sanctus Dei Boxing Glove
By completing the Hidden Histories mission, players can unlock the customizable Pugnus Sanctus Dei (Holy Fist Of God), an awesome left-handed boxing glove that enables players to "jab and spar like Padre Salazar." Beyond the Cactus Bat, it's the coolest and most powerful melee customization, thanks in part to its Double Fist Signature Ability.
When activated, the Double Fist Ability allows players to punch using both fists with such great force that shock waves will deal even more damage to enemies. It may look like a silly homage to Punch-Out!!, but it's unironically one of the most powerful weapon customizations in the popular 2022 open-world game.
Star God Blaster
Who wouldn't want to stroll around Santo Ileso with Star Lord's trusty trademark weapon from The Guardians of the Galaxy? Players can do just that by completing the Twin Coyote Shooting Gallery mission. Once completed, players will have the option of turning their Handcannon .44 into the Star God Blaster. They can also turn into Dredd's Lawgiver if they so choose.
While the Saint's Lawgiver is pretty badass, the Star God Blaster feels a bit more germane to the silly tone and tenor of the game as it relates to James Gunn's irreverent sense of humor. Moreover, by unlocking the weapon's Signature Ability, the Star God Blaster becomes fully automatic, which makes it a lot of fun to play with.
Foam Finger Gun
The best way to defeat enemies in Saints Row is to mount attacks when least expected. One awesome way to do so is by turning one's already super-powerful Handcannon .44 pistol into a giant Foam Finger Gun, which joins Saints Row's infamously ridiculous weapons and can be achieved by completing the Airplane Grave Shooting Gallery mission.
As silly as it looks, there's very little chance an enemy will foresee a vicious gun attack when a player rolls around the streets with a large foam finger attached to their hand as if they just came from a Santo Ileso Hammerheads' baseball game. Funny, original, and stealthy as they get, the Foam Finger Gun captures the game's absurd sense of humor like few others.
Umbrella Rifle
Staying with the theme of stealth, the coolest customizable feature for all rifles in Saints Row belongs to the Umbrella Rifle, which players can unlock by completing the Choplifting Side Hustle. Once successful, players can turn their powerful K-8 Krukov Assault Rifle into a clandestine Umbrella Rifle.
Aside from being just as powerful as the stock K-8 Krukov AR with twice the stealth, the Umbrella Rifle's Johnny Fuse Signature Ability rewards players with unbroken killing streaks. That is, the longer a "kill streak," the cooler the firearm will remain and ultimately perform with optimal results. As such, the Umbrella Rifle is the perfect customization for sneak-attacking enemies en masse.
Beer Can Launcher
By completing the Riding Shotgun Side Hustle, players will be rewarded with the almighty Beer Can Launcher, which turns the awesome Idol Star Launcher into a high-powered weapon that literally shoots beer cans at enemies. The coolest part? Two beer cans with straws are attached to the front of the weapon, so players can swill the suds while engaging in shootouts.
More than just a visual skin mod, the customization also increases the number of rounds from four grenades to six beer cans, giving a whole new meaning to the term "six-pack." For a game built on escapism, the Beer Can Launcher is as intoxicating as it appears.
Guitar Case RPG Launcher
When it comes to big guns in the popular western-themed RPG, the RPG Launcher comes with two distinct customizable mods. The first is the ultra-powerful MDI-101 Multi Launcher, and the second is the even more unique Guitar Case Launcher, which disguises the weapon as a sticker-laden guitar carrier ripped right out of Desperado.
By completing the Shady Oaks Ventures mission, players can obtain the customizable skin, which is not only a really cool shout-out to the 1995 Robert Rodriguez movie, but it's also one of the most disguised weapon mods the game has to offer. Foes will have no idea whether to duck for cover or throw a dollar in the guitar case for a tip.
Potato Cannon
Most would agree the AT Rocket Launcher is one of the most powerful weapons offered in Saints Row. By completing the High Noon main mission, players can skin the weapon with an incredibly potent Potato Cannon visual mod that completely overhauls the fashion and function of the weapon.
Comprised out of PVC plastic pipework, The Potato Cannon may appear low-tech, but it's a supremely powerful variant of the AT Rocket Launcher, which is essentially what John Matrix sported in Commando. Even better, the Potato Cannon will never go off in a metal detector, allowing players to roam freely with it in tow.
Piñata Stick & Bomb Launcher
The Piñata Launcher is another potent big gun available in the much-anticipated 2022 PS5 game by completing all the Ventures in the game. Once the Piñata Bomb Launcher is unlocked, it can be paired with the Piñata Stick, which is a customized visual mod of a melee Crowbar weapon that can be found by completing the @tcha Side Hustle. When properly used together, players can win the Fiesta Time trophy.
Aside from launching bombs disguised as party favors and using its Signature Ability to fire deadly snakes at enemies, the Piñata Launcher can be paired with the Piñata Stick. To do so, players simply fire a bomb, walk up to it, and hit it with the stick to detonate the explosive charge. It's one of the few instances in Saints Row when two weapons can be used in tandem specifically through customization.
Retrowave Sniper Rifle
Along with the Thrusbuster, the TOGO-13 Sniper Rifle is among the most elite class of Special Weapons in Saints Row. By completing the Riding Shotgun Side Hustle, players can customize the TOGO-13 with the almighty Retrowave Sniper Rifle, a cool translucent yet colorful visual skin mod.
In addition to the sleek new visual design of the Retrowave Rifle, the weapon still doles out as much damage as the TOGO-13's stock model, including fatal single headshots. With its Bonus Round Signature Ability that rewards players with more ammo for every kill shot, the Retrowave Sniper Rifle is hard to beat.